Madness? This is 20 Questions Tuesday!
wow… 300 of these? With hack bits like that? You know this won’t be good. It is best that I reference a movie that has been out since 2006 that I have not ever seen. Yes… that is the best course of action. Indeed the best course of action ever.
Thanks this week go to Nadolny, Andrew Miller, Dr JHP, Bill Meeks, Tom Merritt, Scott Johnson, Brian Brushwood, Maj Mc Armypants, Chris Corrigan, and Justin Robert Young. Since this is a special number... I am answering all the questions that were sent in. So, without further ado, onto the questions.
1. Will there be no escape for the Princess this time?
Nope, the Empire will have her in their firm clutches for a while now.
2. It’s not March, couldn’t you have procrastinated until them for #300 for the added pun? I have faith in you, I know you could!
March is a good bit away… I am not sure I could vamp for 5 months.
3. Texting while driving?
4. Do we need more loony bins? Is it inappropriate to call them loony bins? Loony is just short for lunatic, which has a cool etymology. Or maybe we should call them loonie bins and only accept payment for stays there in Canadian currency.
I would love to see looney bins payed for by Loonies… 2 Canadian dollars at a time. And yes, it is inappropriate.
5. Is Mad cow disease really a thing?
Yup, it is a horrible bovine disease called bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
6. Can you connect the 300th 20-question-round-up, the movie "300," the theme of madness, and the band Madness? Extra points if somehow tie in how these emails are less 20-questions and more Proust's questionnaire.
Yup, sure can. Just wait.
7. 300!? Will you be donning Spartan garb? It is close to Halloween you know.
No Spartan garb this time… mainly because I am rather flabby. For the record, this ain't Sparta... it is Central Ohio and we have cheesecake here.
8. 300 hundred is perfect in bowling, what is a perfect score in any other sport?
The Golden Set in Tennis 6-0, 6-0
9 Dart Finish in Darts
And a perfect game in baseball….
9. Do some math thingy and have the answer be 300, its gotta include some Greek letters and whatnot I think.
Nope… I am not your puppet. You are not the boss of me. This is not a question, this is a directive.
10. What was going on in the world in 300 BC, 300 AD?
in 300 BC: A boat sank
in 300 AD: A boat sank… here is the thing, when you ask about a date in history, you can always say, a boat sank.
11. After 300 episodes so to speak are you still having fun with it?
I do still find this interesting… sometimes it is fun, sometimes it isn’t.
12. What makes you angry?
Turns out the thing that makes me angry according to my wife is Time warner Cable not getting their shit together and keeping me from playing World of Warcraft with my friends. Internet provider jackasses.
13. How do you manage your anger when you get upset?
I do not tend to get angry too much… so I would say being terse with Time Warner Cable customer service is what I tend to do.
14. Has anybody's answer to your questions ever made you angry?
15. What would you consider your "craziest" interview?
One that was never published. It only made it to question 8. The guy I was asking questions was a random denizen of the Internet who asked to answer 20 Questions… the answer to Question 1: Tell me you geographic story involved multiple psychiatric wards and the phrase, “that was the third time I attempted suicide that year.” The questions went downhill from there. He eventually stopped answering my emails and I really did not hound him for responses.
16. There are a lot of insane characters in fiction. What's your favorite and why?
Ethan Frome, because you have to be bat-shit nuts to think that sliding into a big oak tree on a toboggan sled is a surefire way to commit suicide during the winter in New England with your wife’s cousin, Mattie (whom he fancies more than his wife). Frozen lake you idiot. Frozen lake
...er...um... spoiler alert?
17. How do you spell the first name of the short droid in Star Wars. The one C3PO says "This is madness" to?
It is a simple capital “R.” Although I have thought that C-3PO might have been talking to the other silver 3PO unit tottering along the corridor.
18. Do you consider the band Madness to be ska?
They are not quite ska…. but they are definitely ska-ish. They are ska-adjacent.
19. Do you think we should stop using the word mad to mean angry when it originally meant insanity?
No, language is literally a living thing, just as the meaning of “literally” is currently shifting to mean both the dictionary meaning of ‘literally” from time immemorial and “hyperbolically figuratively” meaning that is starting to take place now.
20. What is the most benign form of mass crowd madness?
iPhone 6 Plus lines and retail crush… or the Cabbage Patch Craze of the 80’s.
21. If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you say it was madness? Then jump?
Nope, and nope.
22. Are mad cows with mad cows disease mad mad or crazy mad?
They are mad mad. The kind of mad that happens because the are angry and insane… some might say, “insanely angry.”
23. Riots are horrible. Why do people say that fun things like parties and concerts are riots?
Because riots are known for the their unbridled energy and unchecked potential, people also like to categorize parties and concerts with that same unbridled energy and unchecked potential as riotous.
24. Why are my hands so cold?
I would say that your hands are cold because you live in Utah, and Utah is the land of the cold hands.
25. Is Mad Men about the loss of innocence? Or the loss of cool ties and lapels?
Mad Men is a story primarily about women’s rights. To make that story more palatable for the viewing public, it is viewed through the lens of the men who are, in many ways, fighting against the inevitable change.
26. How many actors can you name from "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World"?
Um… I think I could get Jonathan Winters and Buddy Hackett and call it a day. So 2
27. What're you, a cop?
Nope. I am not a cop
28. Ever seen a grown man naked?
Yep, I consider myself a grown man and I, have indeed, seen myself naked… The vision keeps me up at night…. paler than white… pale blue
29. How much would it cost to get you to literally bite the head off a living chicken?
Well, I think it would not be some much a matter of money as much as necessity. If things are dire enough, I would do it merely to feed the chicken to my family… however, in today’s economy and social media landscape without an exorbitant amount of cash I would not do it. Period. Wouldn’t do it. You couldn’t make me if it did not have to be done. No amount of money.
...one Andrew Jackson and you have a headless chicken good sir. You show me the 20 and I will start sharpening my chompers.
30. No, seriously: are you a cop? Because you know you have to tell me if you're a cop.
Still not a cop.
31. Will you please sing me the song "Mad World?"
Thank you for saying please unlike that j-hole from Question 9... still the answer is "Nope."
32. Ever kick a guy in the chest (giant pit optional)?
Not in the standing chest kick way, but I am sure I have put a soccer boot in a kid’s chest during the playing days.
33. Speaking of giant pits, having one to kick people into says a lot about a people. Isn't this a bit out of spirits with the whole "trial by combat" vibe the Spartan society otherwise offers?
Not too sure you know this, but 300 was not factually correct. There are many issues covered in the movie that just are not historically accurate.
34. On to what everyone is thinking about these days, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome! The nexus of all things "MADNESS!" (where fantasy and reality blur.)
a. Which is more madness "MADNESS!!" 1. The absurdity of the scene where the dwarf stops production of an entire town (presumably daily) as part of a prank call to Tina Turner where he asks "Who run Bartertown?" or 2. That this film was actually made and everyone has seen it?
I ain't Captain Walker. I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket.
b. I am hereby skipping the question about when a dude's main claim to fame is fighting a mentally disabled person in a bungy cord harness in this movie cracks into a borderline unintelligible (though clearly anti-semitic) rant.
You forgot the amazing phrase “sugar tits.”
35. How come March Madness isn't madder?
How come? How come? “How Come?!?!” How about “Why?” I hate it when people say “How come...” It isn’t madder because they keep Dick Vitale in check with a shock collar and barbiturates.
36. On a disturbingly frequent basis, I imagine Rossito calling up Tina Turner randomly for years, long after the making of Thunderdome, and asking "Who run Bartertown?" barely stifling giggles and her shrieking "How did you get this number?!?!? I know it is you!" Is that madness?
This is one the best scenarios I have pictured in a long time.
37. What compelled you to even get started on this habit?
I was doing a blog where I posted every Monday through Thursday and was running out of ideas, so I started hitting people up that I knew to ask me some questions... it slowly morphed into 20 Questions Tuesday.
38. Can you ever imagine stopping?
Oh, I have stopped many times... many many times.
39. Why do we even respond to these requests for questions?
That's on you... I have no idea
40. You’ve done 300…have you learned ANYTHING about yourself?
Hell's no. I do this to avoid learning about myself. I also take umbrage at your use of all caps on "ANYTHING."
41. U mad bro?
Nah, s'all good
42. u mad BRO?
43. U, Mad Bro?
Nah, He's Mad Bro, I'm Cool Bro
44. U? Mad bro?
Me? Mad bro? Dunno, U? Mad bro? U mad, me? I'm mad.
45. Madison Ave or Madison, WI?
This is madness
Only had time for a sketch today
Did I mention that the map commission went well
The commissioner actually gave me a bonus… cause my skillz are boss
My research project for school has been given the go ahead
That means right now I am 3 weeks behind
I was on schedule
Funny how that works
I seriously cannot believe it has been 300 of these
Bet 301 is super anticlimactic
I can almost guarantee it
Thanks to all of you who read this, a hearty thank you to all of you who actually give me questions to answer, and a special thanks to everyone who has answered my 20 Questions
Drop me a line, comment, send me an email (mmmmmpig @ gmail . com) iffens you want to do one of these here 20 Questions interviews
Have a great week everyone