As some of you may know, Columbus, Ohio is often times a hot-bed of fast food test marketing. Take today’s lunch as a case in point. 2 co-workers and I went to Wendy’s (headquartered in Dublin, Ohio just down the road from us) for a cheap fast lunch. This was one of those Wendy’s with a Tim Horton’s glued to the side of it. 2 of us went to Wendy’s and the 3rd of our “party” went to Tim Horton’s for some wrappy kind of sandwich. Anyway… There on the 99¢ menu board taunting me was Small Frosty…… Chocolate or Vanilla. WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!?! VANILLA?!?!?!? You BASTARDS!!!!!!!

This is what I was planning on having a baked potato, side salad and their el-cheapo chicken sammich. Now I had to add a Frosty. A Vanilla Frosty, to be exact. You see, going to Wendy’s had always been a safe haven for me. Their frosties were never a big draw for me, because they were only “kind of” chocolate flavored. In my opinion “kind of chocolate” has no place in the spectrum of soft-serve ice-cream flavors, or even in the kind-of-like-soft-serve-ice-cream consistency where frosties seem to exist (thicker than a milkshake, but thinner than soft-serve). But vanilla… ah vanilla is another matter entirely.

Ah, Vanilla, my love, my sweet, the only edible portion of any orchid, you taunt me with your flavory goodness. You are the mild necessity of desserty flavor. You are the basis of all other flavors. One cannot even make chocolate without first adding vanilla. I love you like I love no other flavoring…

Ummm... Where was I? Oh, yes, now I have to add on a Vanilla Frosty into the repertoire. Oh, and where a typical chocolate frosty goes all wrong for me, the vanilla one was just right. I hate you Vanilla Frosty, but only because I love you soooo much. Now I hate you Wendy’s because you introduced me to the Vanilla Frosty. Damn you Wendy’s, Damn you to Hell!!!!

I am sure that some of you (okay, just one of you) are wondering if this supplants the Arby’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Shake. Well, in some ways “yes,” but in others, “No.” You see the Arby’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Shake whilst having been pure heaven in a cup for about $2.50 seems to be no more… I failed in my mission. The small vanilla Frosty is a mere 99¢. One was pure indulgent pleasure for pleasure’s sake, and the other is just a little bit of decadence at less than half the price.

To recap:
I hate you Wendy’s
I love you Vanilla Frosty!
Little Man freaked himself out by pooping in the tub last night
Hopefully there will not be a repeat of that tonight
It took him a loooong time to recover
Hopefully we will be off the housing market by Monday of next week
Friday of next week Wifey and I will be taking a much needed vacation
It will be a very good thing
I hate you Vanilla Frosty!
Have a good weekend everyone