20 Questions Tuesday: 137 - Q is Turning 1

Here it is. My second kid’s birthday week. Yikes. She is going to be 1 in 2 days. AAACK

Today’s 20 Questions is about this momentous occasion. Thanks this week go to ACW, Capt. McArmypants, Riley, Dr B-Dawg, and Some Other Guy. On to the questions!

1. The kid’s school year has passed by so quickly – much quicker than usual. Do you think it might have something to do with the other distractions we have in our lives (work, activities, news stories etc)?
I think it has to do with pure percentages. One year to me is only about 2.86% of my life where when I was 10 it was 10% or a whapping 20% when I was 5 or 100% when I was 1. As I get older, the perception of time speeds up.

2. It’s amazing how the kids can get older and you don’t – isn’t it?
It is a pretty interesting phenomenon at that.

3. “What a difference a day makes” – lame slogan or what?
I am intrigued… I will go with the "or what?"

’Tis true, she is allergic to strawberries now.

5. What about blackberries?
Haven’t tried them yet. We are avoiding most multi-seeded fruits right now due to the strawberry thing.

6. Talkin yet? Any first words? Likely candidates for first words?
Tonight she said “mama” much to the delight of a certain mama.

7. What would she want as a birthday present if she could talk?
She is into taking things out of one container and putting them in another container. So two wide mouth jars and a collection of something she cannot choke on. But that is what i am getting her, so you are on your own.

8. What is the biggest personality difference between her and Little Man?
She is way more independent. Way. More.

9. Do you get annoyed at how often people say things like “Oh, wow, is she already hitting the big day??? Where does the time go?”
It is a bit annoying, just because it reminds me of the events that are never going to happen again.

10. Biggest difference between her first year and Little Man's first year?
We have another child to deal with as well. When you only have one, you can sleep when they do in the early days.

11. Any expectations of her second year?
I have decided to not expect anything, except to have a job. I will have a job, Damnit!

12. Do you plan on getting a present for Little Man on her birthday so he doesn't feel jealous/left out?
He is super excited for it to be HER birthday. I think he might get a bit flummoxed if we tried to give him anything significant. That being said, I think we are going to try and give him his favorite foods in celebration of her birthday.

13. Did you know June 4th is also Old Maid's Day? What do you make of that?
Well, Q can be pissed at the OB-GYN who scheduled her birth then.

14. How many different of sizes of clothes does a 0 to 1 year-old pass through?
Typical kids will go through 4 to 7 different sizes. Q went through premie, newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, and is in 9-12. Most kids are larger than Q and would also be in the 12-18’s but most likely skip the premie.

15. How disappointed is Q by the fact that she has not seen the advent of the flying car in her lifetime?
She has a lot of lifetime left and is not giving up hope. She is just sooo naive.

16. Are you surprised by Q's aforementioned high expectations of how fast technological innovations should be occurring, despite being only one year old? That is a lot pressure your daughter is putting on society already. I don't want to tell you how to raise your child, but you might want to work on that. Seriously.
If you don’t push society it will only stagnate. You should be happy that she is un-happy with the status quo. If we have taught her anything it is to keep the fork out of her eye, but if we teach her something else, it will be that the status should not be quo.

17. So, why didn't we let the car companies fail?
Because so many ancillary industries depended on their existence.

18. What do you see in the upcoming year for the family?
Lots and lots of poopy diapers.

19. Explain 1 in set theory.
This is from my faulty memory of a class I did not get a stellar grade in. Well, it all goes back to the null set. The set that has no members. 0 is described as the null set and 1 would be the power set of the null set which is the null set and a set containing the null set. Therefore a set that contains the null set and another member ergo 1. QED. It is a bit circular, but much of set theory is.

20. Sheesh! I was kidding. You are a freak. I weep for your children.
I weep for them when they have friends over. So will they...

To recap:
1 on Thursday
Wifey’s Mom gets some surgery tomorrow, so positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated
Nothing scary, but necessary
I have some work to get done before a meeting tomorrow
It might get me some contract work, so’s I got’s to get
Listening to The Beast and the Dragon, Adored by Spoon

3 Things

There are 3 things to go over today.

Thing the First:

Q is turning 1 on Thursday. It seems like just yesterday that I got to meet Q, so how can it be that she will be a whole year old on this Thursday? People who have mentioned how fast one’s perception of time increases when they have more than one child are woefully inadequate at the description of the bending of space and time around multiple children. It is hard to concept that Little Man has been around long enough for us to pay off a 30 month loan much less that the new kid in the house has been here long enough for her lease to go month-to-month.

Thing the Second:
Did I mention that my second child has been in this world a year on Thursday? I mean really, it was just a few days ago that she started to like me. How can she be a year old? Seriously. How could there have been duration of 289,898,835,498,720,000 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the cesium 133 atom? “How?” I ask you?

Thing the Third:

No, Seriously. The girl is going to be 1 in less than 3 days. WTF? I have a near 6 year old and a near 1 year old. What is up with that?!?!? If it were not for the calendar we would be celebrating her 100 days of being in Casa del SRH. Sure she would be mighty advanced for a 3.5 month old, but that is the amount of time that she has been here. So shut up.

To recap:
Time is a fickle harlot
Q took her first steps on Friday
Pretty advanced for a 3.5 month old
She is also on the verge of speaking rather coherently
20 Questions Tuesday will be about the passing of a year
Listening to Little Man whine about not getting to watch Youtube vids

Sick Baby

Okay, Q is snuffly and all congested, so I will not be giving any attention whatsoever to 20 Questions today. I know it is hard to deal with, but, please persevere as best you can.

To recap:
Q being sick = short non-interesting post
Just a normal everyday ailment
Nothing swiny or fluey about it
Hopefully I will have more to post tomorrow
That is, if she is not even more sick

Belated, but only a little bit

I am usually the last person awake in the happy SRH household. Little Man and Q both go down around 8 or 8:30 and Wifey follows around 10 or 11. So I figured that I would get to this post on the 7th instead of after midnight on the morning of the 8th.

Little Man had a rougher than usual night getting to sleep at a late late 9:30. He has a bit of an asthma flare up going on. He seems to get one around this time or a few week later than this every year. It will pass, but there will be much coughing before all is said and done.

I have gotten Q to sleep three times this evening and Wifey has gotten her to sleep once. Q is taking up most of the night tonight and I am rather tired of rocking the little girl, even though she is amazingly cute.

Since it is still the 7th at least in Central, Mountain and Pacific Time Zones I am counting it as still being the 7th.

Happy birthday, Wifey. I had a wonderful day with you today at the BMV renewing your tags, at the grocery store getting your birthday meal ingredients (NY Strip, Baked Potato, and Broccoli, for those of you keeping score). I enjoyed chatting with you all day long and loved the I've-Got-to-Walk-This-Steak-Off stroll that we took after the meal.

I love you and am proud to be married to you, so Happy Birthday to you, albeit a bit belated due to family circumstances. Even as I type I am doing so with an annoyingly awake Q on my lap. Darn babies.

To recap:
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart
That has a different meaning if you accidentally misspell "Sweetheart"
Happy Birthday, Sweatheart
Baby not asleep
And potentially pooping while sitting on my lap
Thank you diapers for your poop-catching majesty
Boy in asthma flare up
I need to give him a breathing treatment in a few minutes
Not sure how to do that with Q awake and slowly defecating
I was going to digitally alter a pic of Wifey all artistic-like but I can't do that with a baby on my lap
So no "Digital Thursday" this week
Listening to The White Stripes Seven Nation Army
Have a great weekend all


Q is having some difficulties staying asleep at night. At first we thought it was because she was gassy. After administering some antigas medicine. That was not the issue. Then we thought that she might be in the midst of some teething discomfort due to the crooked smile and massive amounts of drooling. We gave her some Motrin. That was not the issue as well. Then we thought that maybe she was having a mild allergic reaction. We gave her some Benadryl. That was not the issue either.

It turns out that her body is trying to stand up in her sleep and that is waking her up. Great. How do you help a baby sleep through that?

To recap:
Q wants to stand on her own much more than she is
At least subconsciously
I WILL have some thing for Digital Thursday tomorrow
Listening to Little Man repeatedly yell "FLLLLY AWAAAAAY" while throwing a parachute toy
Kill me now

Un-Digital Thursday

I don't have anything artistic to post today. I have been I am currently sitting 3rd in the competition for last Thursday's Digital Thursday piece over at the Cartographer’s Guild. The community there has set up some interesting voting processes. They take the number of entries and divide that by 5 and round up. The resultant quotient is how many votes that each individual voter can cast. I like that it creates voting system that is like applied fuzzy logic. There have been 116 voters casting votes so far, and the margin of victory with 116 votes is only 8, and the difference between myself and the person in second is only 1 vote. The 2 entries that are currently sitting ahead of me are very worthy entries by very capable cartographers. Winning and losing in this It has still been a fun vote to watch.

I think this month’s challenge will be another interesting free for all, but that is a topic for a different Digital Thursday.

Since I do not have anything digital to share, I will tell you a little tidbit about Q.

Last night I bathed both kids in succession. First I got Little Man all sparkling clean and did the best of his bedtime routine. Then after Wifey got home from a meeting I bathed off Q while Wifey was regaled with tales of train watching. I have never seen a child enjoy a bath as much as Q. She gets absolutely giddy when she hears and sees her bath being filled. But the smile of bath anticipation holds nothing on the gleeful face associated with the third minute of immersion. It takes her about three minutes to really soak in the fact that she is really actually IN the bathtub. That it is actually happening… to her. That is when the ear to ear grin crawls across her face.

Pretty soon there will be giggles associated with her beaming smile. That will make the time all that much sweeter.

To recap:
I will have something for Digital Thursday next week
I think that I just needed a break.
Next week I will be back and stronger for the rest
I really need to pee
To bad I am not at the governor’s mansion
Listening to a Never Gonna Give You Up cover by Cake from their B-Sides and Rarities release
Have a great weekend everyone


One of the odd things about nearly purely breastfed babies is the easily imagined tether that the child has with the mama. It is completely understandable that a young one would be rather beholden to the vessel of their sustenance. Really, it only makes sense. If a baby wants to eat and what the baby eats comes out of one particular person’s boobs, that baby and that be-boobed woman providing nutritional nourishment are most likely within a short distance of one another.

Well, yesterday I had to go to the grocery store. Ingredients for dinner were necessary and Wifey was busy and Little Man was enrapt by a daemon named Youtube, so I gathered up Q and Q’s accoutrement to go to the grocery store down the street. Ah… I love having a grocery store down the street, but that is a post of another day. Anyhoo… I decided that since Q is still too small for sitting up in the grocery cart, yet big enough to hold her head up , so I decided to take the Kelty Kangaroo carrier. Think of a Baby Bjorn but with more strappy goodness. Together Q and I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for last night’s dinner of steamed chicken.

“What’s in steamed chicken?” you ask. None of your damned business, that’s what. Okay, I guess that was a bit harsh. Steamed chicken is made with a package of those chicken breast tenderloins (which is an odd concept on its own), potatoes, green beans, corn, onion, spices, and olive oil.

Slice the potatoes (about 8 to 10 regular potatoes, or 6 or 7 big honking potatoes) thin and salt, pepper, and garlic powder them to taste.
Toss them into a microwave safe bowl with about 1T of olive oil.
Cover those spuds with some saran wrap, poke a few holes, and nuke that for 20 minutes.
Whilst nuking the spuds, you sear the chicken in a frying pan with some olive oil in it.
Of course you season the chicken with salt and pepper (what kind of barbarian do you think I am?)
Set the chicken aside on a plate, in a bowl, a cup. Hey, I am not Stalin here. I don’t care what you put the seared chicken in, just take it out of the hot oil to stop cooking the poultry, otherwise it isn’t even worth attempting to steam the fowl.
Slice one medium to medium large white onion, but slice it like you mean it.
Open one large can of cut green beans and drain, or I suppose you could get fresh green beans and snap them yourselves if you are Captain Suzy Homemaker or some such crap. I don’t have that kind of time, Chuck. So lay off.
Open one can of summer crisp sweet corn or niblets or white corn or whatever and drain. It’s corn, damnit and a can of it. I am sure if you wanted to you could blanche some ears of corn and cut off the kernels, but I don’t think you get your bang for your buck by doing that. There is a point where industriousness becomes pointless.
‘DING’ the ‘taters are finished nuking. Dump the potatoes into a pretty deep thingy* for the oven. Make sure this thingy has a tight fitting lid. *thingy can be a Ducth oven, a clay pot, something else earthen ware-ish, a gigantic casserole, etc… Again, I ain’t your boss.
Dump the onions in. Salt and Pepper them bitches up
Dump in the green beans. Salt and pepper them bitches up too
Dump in the corn. Salt and pepper them bitches up too because they ain’t special
Stir to mix thoroughly (not to be confused with doing something Thoreauly which I found out whilst contemplating the singular beauty of the setting sun reflected off of the carapaces of the industrious ant building a home from whence his collective validation emits).
Put the chicken on top and season with… Not salt and pepper! That’s rookie!! The chicken has already been seasoned with salt and pepper! Don’t bring that weak-ass game into my house! Season the chicken with rosemary. Yes, rosemary! It is best if you have a sprig freshly plucked from your herb garden, otherwise I would suggest powdered rosemary.
Cover and bake that up for 45 minutes at 450°F.
Viola and Bon Apetite

Anyhoo… It was our first outing sans Wifey. She was in a pretty confused mood. This was only the second time she had seen the Kelty Kangaroo Carrier. She was soaking up all the looks we were getting, and everyone did seem to be staring. It wasn’t until we got out of the car at the grocery store that I realized it was our first un-supervised trip. We had a great time because it was a nice trip.

To recap:
Little Man hasn’t reacted to any exposure to eggs
I have work to do today
I don’t want to do it
I would rather be napping
I could have easily slept today awayQ is finding her voice these days
Talking up a storm
She is so vastly different than Little Man, so much so that we have pretty much thrown out everything we “learned” about rearing Little Man as a baby
Listening to Distraction by Angles and Airwaves off of We Don’t Need to Whisper

Digital Thursday

A bit of a different theme for Digital Thursday this week. A friend of the family recently offered to do a photo shoot for Q. It was his gift to the family to celebrate her birth and he also said "he needed more photoshoot practice with babies." I am not too sure how much he really needed more photo practice, but that is a different story indeed.

Anyway, we got the pics yesterday and they are digital, therefore.... DIGITAL THURSDAY!

We were looking through these amazing images he had captured for us and wanted to know how much it would have set us back had we been paying customers. We went to his web-site and were appalled by the lack of expense (you kind of have to dig to get to the pricing). So, if you are in the Columbus area and want some really high quality portraits taken, Wifey and I heartily suggest using our friend.

Little Man doing the 5 year old toothy smile squint.

Wifey and Q in a chair. (I am quite effective at titles)


Q on green

To recap
My shiny version of Dr Doom will be ready for next week's Digital Thursday
Little Man's 5th birthday is tomorrow
Where has the time gone
I am very happy that the Muppets are making their web presence felt
There are a couple of puns in that last sentence
They may have been intentional
They may have been happenstance
Intentional = Comedic Genius
Happenstance = Lucky
You decide if they were intentional or not
Listening to Firestarter by Prodigy
Have a great weekend everyone

Work again, work again, jiggity jig

Well, I am back at work today. There will be more on this tomorrow. In fact, tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be dedicated to going back to work. More than can be said for me.

Q is a very cute baby. I know, I know, I am horrendously biased, but Wifey and I continue to get unsolicited compliments about how cute our newborn baby girl is. We got similar unsolicitations with Little Man as well. We are horrendously biased there as well, but that is immaterial.

Anyhoo… Wifey and I started noticing something when Q was “concentrating” or grimacing in her sleep. Q looks just like Michael Chiklis. Compare and contrast.

Michael Chiklis


Who would have thought? Chiklis is quite the cute baby girl

To recap:
I am tired
Punchy kind of tired
Not listening to anything
I have 239 emails to wade through
Yet, no voice mails

20 Questions Tuesday: 95 - 2 of them?

Having a second child is riddled with emotion. There is a certain amo0unt of loss associated with no longer have a solitary child and solitary responsibility of raising that one. There is something glorious adding to a family. If done correctly, the new child does not fill a void, the new child merely makes things “more complete.” So today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is about our having a second child.

Thanks this week go to lsig, Capt Mc Armypants, Lord Pithy and Wifey.

On to the questions:
1. How long is Q going between feedings?
On average I would say that she is eating every 2 hours or so. There are some 3 to 4 hour spaces between feeding, but there are also some 1 hour issues as well.

2. Is this 2-kid thing easier or harder than you expected?
Yes, and no. Yes, because when we had Little Man, when he slept, we slept. So there was a bit more potential for small shots of sleep. No because now we have a 4.9 year old who is firmly ensconced in his typical human circadian rhythms. Now, we no longer have the luxury of sleeping when Q is sleeping because Little Man is up and running with scissors.

3. How is Little Man adjusting to the interloper?
He is doing well. I imagine it will really come to a head when she gets more interactive and demanding more attention… that will be the test. Right now she is either eating, getting changed or sleeping.

4. You claim not to be overly sleep-deprived. Can Wifey say the same?
The funny thing with not “overly sleep deprived” is that you can easily turn the “overly sleep deprived” corner with just one bad night. We like to call those Monday nights.

5. Is this the Best Thing Ever?
It is really flipping close. I would imagine the wheel and sliced bread might take on more cultural and human significance, but this is up there for Casa Del SRH.

6. So when I was a kid and sleep deprived I would get all giggly and punchy. As an adult I find that I just get really really cranky and want to punch things? Does this mean I am better at being sleep deprived or is this just the natural evolution of "punchy"?
I believe this is the natural evolution of “punchy.”

7. Don't you feel in the future both your kids would try harder at school if they knew only one college education would be paid for?
I think it would be a real kicker to make Little Man wait 4 years to see if he could go on to college. Advantage Q.

8. There are several "methods" of sleeping less to gain efficiency. They have all these charts with bio-rhythms and when you should wake up and promises that if you just do it for a few weeks it will see completely natural. They all promise that you will be come more efficient and have more time in the day. Honestly, how proactive do you think a guy who messed with his sleep schedule and wrote a book about it really is? I mean does this sound like a busy guy or some loser coming up with things to do?
There is a certain amount of credibility to acclimating to a schedule. Just like acclimatizing to high elevation, I imagine the body can get used to chronic sleep debt. To write a book about it though seems a bit loser-ish.

9. As I get older I really believe that if I could just get another set of eyes and trade them out day on / day off I would need half as much sleep. Concur or dis-concur?

10. When was the last time you had the falling dream? If recently, can you stop yourself now? I know I break 4th wall all the time now. Would you say this is apathy or practice?
I have never really had the falling dream, but in my “nightmarish” dreams I have taught my subconscious some abilities to retain some amount of lucidity. So I have had some ability to break the fourth wall and make my nightmares into the dance party of my dreams… literally.

11. Using the Brady kids as archetypes, who is Little Man, and who is Q?
Remind me which boy was the train obsessed, severely asthmatic one with the multiple food allergies and which girl was the newborn.

12. If you could travel back in time 10 years, what advice/insight would you attempt to offer the pre-parental SRH?

13. Now that you have a daughter, has your view on the appropriate age for a first date changed?

14. What's your favorite Noggin show?
The Upside Down Show.

15. What do you expect Q's first four-letter word to be? What was Little Man's?
Q: Mutha Fuckah (while technically not a “four-letter” word per se, I believe it fits the criteria. We are teaching her right)
Little Man: Shit

16. Why does she poop right after we change her?
The only thin I can think of is that by wiping her butt we are somehow stimulating her behind to let loose with the poo. Kind of like a mama cat cleaning her kittens.

17. Whose kid is this? She doesn’t look like you or me.
No kidding. I saw her come out of you, so she is definitely yours, what… what are you trying to tell me?

18. Would it be so hard to have multiple color selections for pack and plays?
No shit. How hard could it be to make the same model in 3 different fabrics? Not everyone’s living room is decorated by jungle animals in lime green.

19. Sweet Ani DiFranco! We need to go grocery shopping!
That isn’t much of a question, but you are right.

20. Do you mind if I take a 30 minute nap?
Not at all.

To recap:
It is difficult getting these done during the day
We are nigh out of everything in the cupboards areas
My back is a bit sore
When I was actually sleeping, I must have done it wrong
That is a kick in the pants
Don’t get to sleep much, and when I do it is wrong
My birthday is this Saturday
I just remembered that
So what did you guys get me?
Listening to Little Man play with trains
I am about to join him


It is very difficult to smash a spider with a newborn baby in your arms. Let’s just say that it is a difficult position to be in. Can we all at least agree on that?

I mean, your agility is more than cut in half. Newborn babies have rather floppy heads and little tiny necks that cannot support the massive weight of their own noggin. That lack of nogginal support means that unless you have the neck of said newborn supported, the head will bob and swing around like a wrecking ball. All your spider killing instincts honed over years of dispatching arachnids have to be reined in. You cannot leap into the air and send a final blow to a spider using a papered palm slap and some tarantella foot work. Baby’s head would be bouncing around like a rubber ball in a pogo stick factory… (admittedly that is a pretty weak analogy).

Further compounding this decreased agility is the fact that you should not attempt to kill the spider WITH the newborn baby in your hands. A newborn baby is not a reliable weapon. I am going to repeat this to help it set in, this time in all caps, ‘cause it’s ‘portant. A NEWBORN BABY IS NOT A RELIABLE WEAPON. I feel that a list is the best way to demonstrate all the weaknesses associated with newborns as weapon.

  • Aforementioned weak neck with heavy noggin
  • Soft spot on skull
  • Poor hand-eye coordination
  • Lack of battle cry
  • No teeth
  • Propensity to sleep
  • 6 to 9 pounds of whoop-ass is not that impressive (unless it is concentrated in thrown cat form)

See? Newborns just are not the killing machines you are looking for. A rolled up piece of paper would do better.

To recap:
Wifey, Q, and Little Man are all doing well
I am not as sleep deprived as I would have thought
But maybe that is a sign of sleep deprivation
Her 1 week check up was stellar
She is gaining weight like a champ
A champ that has stopped fighting
And is eating like he was still training
By “She” I mean Q, not Wifey
Can I get a “Welcome back” from the crowd?
20 Questions Tuesday triumphantly returns tomorrow