The Great White North

Horseshoe Falls

It is like a freaky alternate reality. Things are similar… but not the same. You know those dreams where everything seems real, but everything is just a little off? The dreams where everyone is going about their daily business acting perfectly normal, but everyone is wearing either golf shoes or bowling shoes. The dreams where the color red is blue and blue is orange. Yeah… those dreams.

This weekend was like being in one of those dreams all weekend long. “Why?” you ask. You are quite nosy, but I will answer anyway. This weekend Wifey and I visited a land called Canada. Don’t worry all you USians out there; we went to one of the most American-ish of places in Canada so the Canadian culture wouldn’t overwhelm us. We went to Niagara Falls pretty much on a whim. Little Man stayed home with his Mimma and they both ran each other ragged. I am pretty sure that they both were asleep by 8:30 last night.

As everyone knows, the US side of Niagara Falls is crappy so we decided to go to the Canadian side. The differences were subtle but eerily palpable. The pavement markings are similar but different. The signage whilst driving on the QEW was a bit odd to we US-ers in the car. The repetition of all announcements en Français also added an air of otherness. Avec six ans de Français sous ma ceinture, Je suis joyeux que tout les announcements sont an Anglais aussi parce que, ma Français, c’est terrible.


Anyway… Wifey and I had a grand time. We left Columbus Friday evening at 6 and got to our Hotel at 12:45 AM. That includes a leisurely dinner and going through customs. Saturday we did the Maid of the Mists boat-ride and got up close and personal with the Horseshoe Falls.
Maid of the Mists

The power and size of the falls is pretty awe inducing. On the boat we were getting soaked next to some Scots and some French. While on the boat I heard some Korean, Japanese, Dutch, French, German, and some Slavic language that I could not place (let’s call that one Polish). It really is amazing how multi-cultural the world is when you actual brush up against so many cultures in one small spot.

We walked around a whole bunch looking at the tourist trap that is Niagara Falls. The best way to describe the touristy parts of the area to people familiar with rural US life is that the area was one big county fair without all the deep fried batter. Frankly the place needed some funnel cakes. You hear that Canada? One prescription of funnel cakes to Niagara Falls stat! Anyway there were 3 fair-like haunted houses and an amazing amount of gaud and glitz. There was so much gaud and glitz that one might call the place gaudy and glitzy. There were multiple arcades and t-shirt vendors. Seriously, if there were more food on a stick places and glowing crap for sale I would have been wondering where the livestock competition was.

Wifey and me at The Four Brothers Italian restaurant
(I'm the one in blue)
Now the glitz and gaud associated with the tourist area was the exact opposite of the gloom and general rundown-ness of the “downtown business district.” Wifey and I are a bit odd in our travels. We enjoy looking behind the veneer of places to see if the place is truly what it is portraying or if it is only a façade. For example, London England is what it acts like. It is a cosmopolitan world class city that has a vibrant and sustained community and economy. Reno, Nevada is where people go to gamble. Turns out that Niagara Falls acts like a state/county fair, but the fun is only masking an economically depressed area that seems a bit sad.

So, wax museums and craptastic haunted houses aside, the weekend was most definitely Canadariffic!

To recap
Some Pics to be posted sometime tonight
They still reside on the camera
Wifey liked it there sooo much she bought some Canadian Pride socks
(I have been informed that there will never be pictures of the socks)
Little Man was happy to see us
We were happy to see him
Mimma was REALLY happy to see us
The exchange rate is not that favourable for US-ers right now
Everything used to be on sale for us
Bruschetta has been benchmarked… BENCHMARKED I SAY!
Tomorrow’s 20 questions shall revolve around the topic of Canada
I need a nap
Still
Everyone does realize that it is a mere 8 days to the Blogaversary
And it is a 3rd Blogaversary to boot
Do I get any presents?

7.5 hours

So, today I spent 7 hours in a car… by myself… for 4 hours of contact with the clients. That’s 11 hours I will never get back in my life.

Anyway, the car ride left me alone with my thoughts for a long time (it seems about 7 hours of time). It was not long before I could silence the voices in my head. The dreaded head voices. I dread them so not because they tell me to kill and not because they are incredibly self critical, I hate them because they like to sing in the round. 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall, Row Row Row Your Boat, How Much is that Doggy in the Window (arf, arf), etc… It is enough to drive a man crazy, it is.

To Recap:
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Row, row, row your boat
Life is but a dream
Gently down the stream
Row, row, row your boat
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Gently down the stream
Row, row, row your boat
Life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Gently down the stream
Row, row, row your boat
Life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Gently down the stream
Row, row, row your boat
Life is but a dream
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Gently down the stream
Life is but a dream
Life is but a dream
Life is but a dream

20 Questions Tuesday: 63 - Morning

It is Tuesday again and time for some more 20 questions. The fine folk that I work with are completely cut off from the blog… makes me contemplate talking about them. However there are still a few of them that play from home, so that is a no go. (Just kidding guys, I would never talk bad about you… really).

The topic for today is Morning. I am not a morning person, so this should be interesting. Thanks this week go to TheMikeStand, Tree Monkey, Dustin, Nadolny, and JW. On to the questions.


1. Simon & Garfunkel's "Morning Has Broken", or Sheena Easton's "Morning Train" -- which would you rather hear for a week straight emanating from your clock radio at 5:30 AM?
Why on God’s green earth am I getting up at 5:30am for 7 days straight? If I had to choose I would go with Sheena Easton. She is waaaay hotter than Simon and/or Garfunkle.

2. What is the worst or most embarrassing mistake you've made (at work or otherwise) that you had to blame on morning brain?
I am sure there are blunders and gaffs as a direct result of my morning cognition, but through the miracle of denial and repression, I cannot recall any.

3. Have you ever woken up in the wee hours of the morning (like, say, 3AM) and mistakenly started your morning routine several hours too early?
Once, you don’t make that mistake twice. The issue I have is that a shower tends to wake me up. I was awake waaaay too early that day.

4. What is it with morning radio hosts (public radio excepted)? Do you think they're all on amphetamines, or just that annoying naturally? Seriously, those people should be shot.
I think they are annoying naturally and that is pretty much the only job they can get because they are so damned annoying. I don’t understand why it is acceptable by humanity at large to allow those people to darken my radio dial.

5. If you had your choice, what time in the morning would you prefer to wake up?
10 am

6. What is your favorite breakfast food? What's your favorite morning food?
I like me some French toast something fierce. It is best if there has been a light dusting of powdered sugar on it and a hint of cinnamon in the batter.

7. Is Little Man a morning person?
I would say that he is kind of a morning person. He wakes up anywhere between 6:45 am and 7:30 am every day, but is not given to super late sleeping in or super early wake times typically.

8. How do you wake up? By Little Man, radio, buzzer, etc?
Typically these days I wake up via Little Man jumping on me. Pre-Little Man: radio alarm. Pre-Wifey: buzzer.

9. Favorite morning weather (fog, sun, rain, snow, etc.)?
Unless I am driving, I love the fog in the morning.

10. Best morning reading material?
Morning is too early to read.

11. Do you like the Oasis album “What’s the Story, Morning Glory?”
I don’t own any Oasis stuff not necessarily because I do not like their music. I don’t own it because they really think they are THAT good. I cannot be feeding into that kind of ego with my hard earned money.

12. If you woke up one morning and it was raining donuts…would you see that as a “glass half full situation?”
I believe at that point the cup runeth over

13. Describe the difference in the traffic patterns at 530am in the morning versus normal rush hour.
At 5:30 am there is nary a vehicle on the road and most traffic lights are still on the night “blink” cycle. Normal rush hour just has more traffic and therefore much more delay. It all goes back to queuing theory.

14. How many times have you mooned people? (mooning is only one letter away from morning you know).
I don’t think I have ever mooned anyone. If I have it was completely unintentional and I shall apologize profusely here and now in this more or less public forum. “To those of you who might have had the unfortunate occasion to view my unclad pale bum, I am so sorry for any mental pain and anguish I have caused.”

15. Coffee, mountain dew, tea, or another beverage of choice for morning wake up?
Mountain Dew and not those punk ass 12oz cans or the wimpy 20oz bottles. Nope, I consume the 24oz variety for my wake up call. The extra 4oz are the 4oz of wake up.

16. What is Little Man’s morning routine?
Well, he wakes up and yells for either Papa or Momma (usually Papa) then he comes into our bedroom and sits down between Wifey and I so he can watch DVD’s or something on the TV until we really wake up about 20 minutes later. Then he usually sends Mamma down to fetch him his breakfast. He eats his breakfast on our bed, and then gets dressed and heads downstairs. It seems that our bed is his staging area.

17. Ok. You’re a dad, so my question is- Will my son EVER let me sleep until at least 8 in the morning on my days off again?
Not for a while. Sprout will need to become a bit more independent before he allows you to sleep in. Then he will still be getting up and just doing his own thing. Sometimes that seems scarier.

18. What morning factors ensure a good day for you? (Don't forget that your blog is rated "PG")
Being able to go back to bed. Sometimes being able to go back to sleep is even better than sleeping in.

19. The lovely wife asks, "What was the earliest you've ever gotten up on Christmas morning?"
Hmmm… probably 7 am. My parents had a rule that we could not head down for Christmas Morning festivities until after 8.

20. When was the last time you and Wifey watched morning occur?
It has been a long long time since we have actually watched a sunrise.


To recap:
I feel like I am being pulled in several different directions
And none of the directions lead to the Cheesecake Factory
That makes me sad
None of them seem to go past a Krispy Kreme either
Pretty much those paths don’t lead anywhere sugar filled
My brother should be in the Green Zone tomorrow
Capt. McArmypants is still in Afghanistan
I am traveling to Charleston, West Virginia tomorrow
That ought to be insanely boring
3.5 hours of driving
One way
Then after the meeting…
3.5 hours driving on the way home
Yeee-uck

Ode to GUFPS

For some reason I have started writing stuff with a green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie. It is not the easiest of writing utensils. Instead of just picking up a pen or pencil and writing to my heart’s content, I have to make sure that there is a “blotter” paper under the page as I write. Also, if I write too much without the use of my computer, I start getting just a little high on the Ultra Fine Point fumes. Could be good... could be bad... it depends on what I am writing.

One might ask, “Aside from the occasional contact high, why would you go through the arduous process of writing with an Ultra Fine Point Sharpie?” One should mind their own damn business, but I will answer anyway. There is a two-fold reason as to why I use my green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie:

Reason the first that I use my green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: The plastic nib on the end of an Ultra Fine Point Sharpie makes this very satisfying scratching sound as I write. Some people (you know who you are) enjoy those pens that soundlessly add words to a page, but I like a pen that reminds me that I am writing something down.

Reason the second that I use my green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: Since the Ultra Fine Point Sharpie typically makes a satisfying scratching sound; I can also actually “feel” the writing. It is a tactile reminder of the process of writing.

These two reasons for using my green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie make writing things out a sensory experience for me (I was going to use the word “Sensual” but some of you would take that the wrong way entirely. Use the broad sense of the definition and get your mind out of the gutter). It is not just the act of committing thoughts to paper; it is the experience of committing thoughts to paper.

One might also ask, “But why green?” One should still mind their own damn business, because one of these days one is going to ask the wrong question and get oneself beaten down.* Honestly I haven’t the foggiest as to why I have chosen green, but I will attempt to discern if there is any reason behind my choice. The Ultra Fine Point Sharpie colors that I can steal from work work provides for my legitimate business purposes are black, blue, red, and green. Let me look at these colors one at a time, and we will see if there is method to my madness (in this case).

Black Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: Black is too typical of a color. Everyone and their brother write with either black or blue. I find this to be too blah and boring.

Blue Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: Same issue as the black Ultra Fine Point Sharpie.

Red Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: If I were grading someone’s paper, this would be the perfect fit. Its indelible ink would record the mistakes of someone for ALL ETERNITY! The ink would last longer than the paper itself, and that someone would have to bear the shame until the paper decomposed. Ummm… where was I? Oh, red is an inflammatory color and might cause an unconscious bias against whatever I was writing. That's what I meant to say.

Green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie: Ah, soothing green with your allusions to verdant pastures and lazy days lying on the grass under a tree. Green with your minty crispness and cool soothing color… No one takes offense to what is written with green. Green, oh color of the light that filters through summer canopies on long hikes in the woods…

Uh, so I have, ummm… no idea why I chose the green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie.

To Recap:
Little Man's last dose of Orapred was today
It is surprisingly hard to find non-generic Orapred
Little Man will accept no other
I understand cause the generic tastes foul
Orapred tastes horrible to begin with
Generic Orapred tastes horribler
Getting into work at 5:30 am is never fun
That is why I tend to avoid doing that at all costs
Sadly today I could not avoid it, so in at 5:31 I was
Yee-uck
Even though I like my green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie, I can’t stand high-lighters
The people, not the markers
“Look at what I found to be the most salient part of this piece of text”
I don’t care what you found interesting!
Uppity high-lighting bastards
Don’t so much mind folk who high-light their hair though...
Go figure

* I have a can of whoop-ass just waiting for One to ask the wrong question… I am watching you, One… Watching!

Digital Thursday

Not much to show for Digital Thursday. It is even more lackluster when you realize that I am posting at 9pm. Oh well.

First up is a finished piece highlighting the Wonder Twins from the late 70’s and early 80’s classic cartoon The Superfriends. I tried, albeit a bit unsuccessfully, to give them a serious edge like they had to go rescue Gleek or something. There is some wonky anatomy going on and some truly ridiculous footwear, but other than that I am overall happy with how they turned out.

Second up is a work in process of a Wonder Woman piece I am working on. Think that you are looking at her just after she has knocked you on your butt. You are looking up at her uncoiling the lasso of truth after kicking your ass. Why she kicked your ass in a forest is a different question entirely. I don’t know what it is about me and odd perspectives these days. I guess it is because I never even attempted them as a kid.

Oh well, that’s all I got. I was going to whip up a barbarian named Webinar, but that just wasn’t in the cards today.

To Recap:
The company is having a hog roast for lunch tomorrow
My company confuses me
I need to clean up the kitchen some
Orapred is in full effect
Have a great weekend everyone

And not a Spiderman in sight...

There are few words that are actually feared in the corporate world. There are words that instantly instill unbridled terror: downsizing… restructuring… company picnic. These kinds of words cause many a heart to burst, many a psyche to withdraw, and many a career to end. There are other words in the corporate world that instill a more ephemeral fear. They create a fear that is more mixed with loathing than with abject terror. Today dear blog readers, I will talk about one of these words… one these despicable corporate words… a word that induces eye clawing and teeth gnashing. Today, I shall bring forth the corporate word, WEBINAR!

Webinar is not a cartoon barbarian found in the distant future on an Earth that has been devastated by a runaway planet. That is Thundarr. No, a webinar is a seminar that is presented over the Internet or the World Wide Web. Web + seminar = Webinar.

Webinars typically do not present any earth-shattering (or moon shattering in the case of Thundarr) information. They are not used for presenting any kind of results to “real” research or studies. Webinars are a perfect vehicle for imparting intuitively obvious information in a wonderful PowerPoint presentation. Webinars are typically wastes of time with really intriguing titles.

Today’s webinar (1 1/2 hours of my life that I cannot get back, thank you very much) was on how land use planning and transportation planning should be integrated before decisions should be made about a community’s future growth. Now the webinar did not say HOW one should integrate land use and transportation. It just stated THAT those 2 topics should be integrated. Well thank you very much.

Words and phrases that are usually said during a webinar:

Synergy: check
Paradigm Shift: check
Growth Industry: check
Integrated Solution: check
Best Practices: check
Leverage: check


I though “webinar” referred to learning how to shoot webs and fly around the city a la Spiderman. I was sadly wrong. Tomorrow’s webinar is about Public Involvement. I am sure it will synergize public involvement into a integrated solution to leverage transportation planning as a growth industry by focusing on best practices and generating a paradigm shift in how consultants and clients interface with the public. Positive of it in fact.

To recap:
Little Man is going back on the Orapred
I cannot say that I am happy about that
I get it, but I am not happy about it
I need vast amounts of sleep
They shall not be forthcoming in the near future
Wifey gets home tonight
And none too soon
Her trip to Michigan was definitely worthwhile
That’s a sentence you don’t hear too often
Digital Thursday tomorrow, I hope to have something for you to see

20 Questions Tuesday: 62 - Reading

Today is 20 Questions Tuesday and I am home with a sick Little Man. By a “sick Little Man” I do not mean a little man wioth skilz beyond compare, I mean a little boy who is hacking and coughing his way into America’s heart. Anyway, I sent the call out yesterday for 20 questions and was blessed with many prompt returns. Thanks this week go to Dustin, Lsig, Nadolny, and JA Coppinger.

To the questions:

1. Best sci-fi book to read when you’re 25?
Hmmm I am more of a fantasy buff than a sci-fi-er, but I would go with… umm… Orson Scott Card and his book Ender’s Game. I would not, however, continue with the series. The book is wonderfully self contained.

2. Reading + Little Man: What does he request at story time?
All sorts of stuff. His group that is on massive rotation right now include Guess How Much I Love You, Dr Suess’s ABC Book (you may recognize this one from some previous posts) , these 2 Kipper books, an informational comic about asthma, and some board books from when he was a baby.

3. If I type the lyrics “Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high, take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow…” will that song get stuck in your head all day?
I hate you

4. Last book you read that you wish you could get your money back for it.
That’s the funny thing, when I start not liking a book, I usually just walk away from it, but there is this series of books by Celia Dart-Thorton called the Bitterbynd Trilogy that have made me think about calling the better business bureau about because a plot is supposed to have a protagonist and an antagonist some conflict and a resolution. False advertising Ms. Dart-Thorton. False advertising!

5. Have you read “The Time Traveler’s Wife?”
Nope, and with such a ringing endorsement, how can I not? You wax eloquent about its merit so much in your question that I can't help be be compelled to read it.

6. What defines a good book for you? (Examples: Plot, characterization, beauty of language, subject matter, ease of "getting lost" in the story...)
It is a combination of plot, beauty of language, and characterization with the emphasis placed on beauty of language.

7. The Harry Potter books: pop culture fad, enduring literary works, or something in between?
I honestly think they are going to be something in between. I am not certain that they will have the timeless quality necessary for them to hold up as classics in perpetuity. There are some aspects of them that could work, but there are other parts that just will not survive without the fad.

8. What was your favorite book in school? Does it hold up today?
Book from school? I am a big fan of The Lord of the Flies… the book, not The Lord of the Flies himself. He is not so nice, but the book is wonderful. IT is chock full of symbolism.

9. How do you choose the next book you will read?
A combination of three things. Firstly, if it is an author I am familiar with, secondly if the cover catches my eye, and thirdly if the jacket text is not too blasé.

10. Do you consider yourself a good reader?
I consider myself an adequate reader, but I would not go so far as to say “good.”

11. What's you favorite genre of book?
Fantasy hands down. I love me some magic.

12. Who is your favorite author? and favorite classical author (if not the same)?
Currently I am loving Patrick Rothfuss cat*, but he only has his debut out at the moment. I will have to reserve judgment on if he holds up after book 2 comes out. If not him, I would have to fall back to… I have no idea. There are a bevy of authors that I will read, but none of them really jumps out as my favorite. As far as classical author? Hemmingway comes to mind because of his no nonsense prose.

13. How many books a week do you read?
1 tenth of a book unless you consider kids books and then it is over 12.

14. Do you think the youth of today will enjoy reading as much as their parents’ generation?
I think if there could be a few more authors to generate the kind of fervor that J.K. Rowlings did with the Harry Potter series, then, yes. Otherwise, it will be difficult.

15. Will books on the computer ever catch on enough to make bound books obsolete (or nearly so)?
I think there will always be a call for turning a page, so paper books will never completely go away. I could see books being printed on plastic paper in the near future though…

16. Most comfortable spot in the world for reading?
In bed

17. Series: book-by-book, or wait till they’re all in print to read?
Sometimes I like to wait for the entire series to be out and sometimes I like the anticipation associated with waiting for the next installment. That being said, I have also lost interest in a series as well. So, I guess the answer to your "either/or" question is "Yes."

18. One book you re-read regularly?
I can honestly say the only book I have ever completely re-read is The Lord of the Flies. I have attempted other books that I enjoyed, but I found that knowing how the story was going to unfold tainted my reading pleasure. I can however re-read comic books until the colors fade and words become illegible.

19. Reading in the “privy” – bad habit or “Man Haven”?
I am not a potty reader. I stay away from reading in the loo mainly due to my incredibly efficient excretory system. There is no reason for me to get to the end of the paragraph when the business is done.

20. Did you ever actually READ an article in Playboy?
Playboy has articles?


To recap:
Little Man is definitely sick
Not super sick, but sick nonetheless
I am going to try and export some work so I can do it at home
Yippee skippee
The only issue is that Little Man doesn’t like me working from home
He wants to play
Who doesn’t?
Wifey gets home tomorrow night
I might need to go into work when she gets home
That will be lovely
I am sure tomorrow’s post will be on the trials and tribulations of working from home
Ta Ta

/sniff

It never ceases to amaze me. Wifey goes out of town and Little Man gets sick. Almost as soon as I shut the door after sending her on her way to Michigan, Little Man sniffed. This time (and most times really) the sniffles were generated not out of any remarkable sadness. Last night the only thing that kept him from falling asleep absolutely immediately was the near constant /sniff /sniff (shout out to all you mmorpg-ers out there! Err.. I mean “/shout Can I get a whoop! Whoop! /end shout”). This morning the sniffing intensified. It is what sniffles do. And now? Now I have a little boy who is on the outside stages of being sick with a cold.

Breathing treatments until the sniffle goes away. His breathing is already starting to slide. Yeee-HAW! I love this crap. It is a bit early in the season for him to have symptoms like this, but it it is not completely unsurprising. What is surprising is that he is having these difficulties because the weather is just like August, and August is during his good season. The weather really has lulled me into a false sense of security. Because, even though the weather is similar, the allergens in the air and relative humidity are different. It is this difference that makes all the, ummm… well… difference. (I are good with the words)

The other main worry that I am contending with is that if his illness progresses, he will not be allowed to be in pre-school tomorrow. If he cannot go to pre-school, I probably should not inflict him upon his 2 elderly caregivers with compromised immune systems as well. That will mean another day (at least) at home with Little Man. I want to clear something up right now before it goes any further. A day at home with Little Man is not necessarily a bad thing, but I have an extremely finite amount of paid time off accumulated at the moment. I would much rather spend that time with a well Little Man than an ill one. The ill one tends to be very demanding and quite whiney. Needless to say, it might be absolutely necessary for me to burn that PTO.

I will prepare this evening as if we are going to be accomplishing the typical Tuesday routine when Wifey is not home. Drop his butt off at pre-school, go to work and pick his little butt up from his caregivers at 5. I will let you know tomorrow how this pans out.

To recap:
This weather is nuts
I have lots of house chores that need to be done
I miss Wifey
Heck, we all miss Wifey
I thought of better topic this weekend
But I forgot it
Tomorrow’s 20 questions will be on “Reading”
There is also a chance that it will be about
“What do you ask a guy who is cooped up with a sick kid?”

Digital Thursday

I did not get the chance to draw anything last night so Digital Thursday this week shall consist of the 2 pieces I mentioned yesterday and a map that I worked on a few months ago.

Namor: I tried to fix some of the most egregious errors associated with this one. Worked with his right arm tons. This is the 4th version of this piece so far. I am not sure I will revisit it again any time soon. I am lost as to how to fix the other issues that I see in it. Maybe some space away from it will help. Comments and crits are welcome from anyone who wants to take a stab at it.

Apache Chief: Oh, I am quite pleased with this one. If I could draw someone with their head thrown back and chin raised, he would have been getting larger instead of smaller. I am very happy with how the coloring on this one came out. The line work could use a good scrubbing, but I feel that the coloring is pretty much spot on. Inuk-Chuk baby! Inuk Chuck!

The map was for a public involvement meeting in Kentucky about 2 alignments for a new roadway. I consistently rail against clients insisting on using aerial imagery as a backdrop for maps like these. The imagery makes the primary information hard to find. It would be like writing a novel about whale hunting and devoting 4 chapters to the biology of whales. Cumbersome and un-necessary. Just because one has the data or knowledge doesn’t mean that the knowledge and data helps to tell the story.

To recap:
Slept last night instead of drawing
Blame Wifey, she made me go to bed
I need to draw something Star-Wars-y again
Original trilogy and Imperial
I also need to whip something digital up for the Wonder Twins
Shape of a grumpy pterodactyl
Form of a Wedding ice sculpture
Gleek!
There are about 10 of you out there picturing the scene I just scripted
You know who you are
Have a great weekend everyone

Wednesday

Wednesday is a day of soul searching. It is a day of contemplation. It is a day of introspection and self exploration. Wednesday is a day that either galvanizes ones resolve to create a diligent work week, or it is a day that will erode ones will to give forth any effort. The middle of the week, The litmus test of effort, the fulcrum of diligence, the fourth of the seven, the day of knowledge and wisdom, thy name is Wednesday.

I am completely unmotivated. I think this lack of motivation stems from working with databases for the past 3 days. The process of database manipulation seems to be more than a little draining to me. Database design is something I haven’t really looked at since 1998. That’s right 9 years ago. It was not the most interesting aspect of this field when I started and oddly enough, it remains rather limited in its interestingability. Downright dull some might call it. Others love databases, and I am glad those people exist. Without their existence people would have to wait for people like me who dislike databases to work databasey magic. My databasey magic skills are weak. Weak I tell you.

All that being said, I must gird myself up to take on a new task. A new project. The project of the ages. The project of tomorrow. The project of my near future that must be done by the 17th of October.

To Recap:

It seems that the powers that be have blocked blogs again
So I will be posting yet again from the homestead
Whatever
I have another headache
Not quite a pine marten in my skull headache
Fluffy, don’t be sad
I’m sure you will be able to cause a headache for me real soon!
Tomorrow is digital Thursday
I will have a reworked Namor
And I will be debutting Apache Chief on the blog
And maybe one other if I have time tonight

20 Questions Tuesday: 61 - Writing 101

20 Questions Tuesday is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I know that I merely have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. It is a curse because I have to answer people’s questions that they have graciously gifted to me. I am somewhere in the middle group of blessing and curse hoping to hit prophecy!

Today’s topic is writing, and it looks like it will be next week’s topic as well. Thanks this week go to the droll musings of Dustin, the crisp witticisms of Lord Pithy (not yet a Duke I see), the obscurity known as ACW, and the melodious musings of Wifey. On to the questions!


1. Preferred writing utensil: a. Quill b. Ball Point Pen c. Fountain Pen d. Pencil e. Sharpie f. Crayon g. charcoal
I use a Pentel P207 .7mm mechanical pencil for most of my daily scribbling. I have also recently been enamored with a green Ultra Fine Point Sharpie.

2. Favorite writer when you were 18?
David Eddings, his stuff does not hold up well over time. It is fantasy cliché at its most basic. The writing is okay, but his stories are all pretty tired.

3. Greatest written document of all time?
Magna Carta
US Constitution
Hammurabi’s Code
The tales of Gilgamesh
Beowulf
My Birth Certificate

4. If someone gave you $10,000 and said you had to write a 100 page novella, what would it be about?
I would write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone giving somebody $10,000 to write a 100 page novella about someone…

5. If Little Man were to write an autobiography tomorrow, what would he title it?
The Life and Times of Hero and Leadner: A Epistemological Retrospective

6. When you have writer's block, how do you cure it?
Many times I call Wifey. Sometimes I try to write something else. A few times I write whatever comes to my head and then see where that goes. Rarely I just weep uncontrollably in the corner of a conference room.

7. When composing a letter bomb, what is the appropriate opening honorific?
“To whom it may concern…”

8. Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, or some other choice?
I used to prefer WordPerfect, but I have been forced to use Word so long that I have lost all familiarity with WP. That makes me sad.

9. What word-processing feature would you most like to be able to use in real life?
Crtl + Z

10. If you received a death threat, but it was written in Curlz, would you take it seriously?
More so than if it were in Times New Roman or Arial or Helvetica. Death threats sent in Curlz are clearly from someone who has had a break with reality, and felt they should personalize.

11. Why do your posts and emails contain spelling errors? Don't you have spell check on your machine?
Skrew yoo! Basically I don’t really care too much about the spelling issues. Soelling has never been a forte of mine and I am honestly too lazy to care about the spell check all the time. My biggest issue is that eye sometimes right in homophones, and homophones are knot caught bye the spell check feature in yore typical word processing programs.

12. What's up with Chaucer and why did he write so funny?
Sadly I think the prose of today is going to look as antiquated and laborious to future generations as Middle Englishe looks to us. Think about how truncated our words are compared to Chaucer’s. Now think about how this sentence looks compared to most text messages. Pretty soon, people will wonder why we wrote the way we do. kthxby

13. My friend's kid is in a school system that has gone paperless - to include homework and parent announcements. This can't be good, I believe there is an important lesson to be learned by taking pencil to paper and completing homework. Your thoughts?
There is definite merit to writing and not inputting things directly into a digital environment. I think that computers have too much ability to create shortcuts. Shortcuts are good once one has had a chance to understand the basics.

14. Is the haiku dead?
This poetic form
Made of five and seven sounds
Is alive and well

15. I heard once that a "writer cannot write." That if you can do anything else with your life, you clearly are not a writer because writer's are compelled to write at the expense of all other interests or abilities.

What do you think? Is this a truthful perspective or simply wisdom of a drunk?
Who the Hell are you talking to? I do think there is some truth to this. I think people who are compelled to write can avoid that call, but in general I think they know that nothing else can replace their need to write.

16. Do you think New Kid's on the Block (NKOTB) would have had a hit if it would have been titled, "The Write Stuff" vs. "The Right Stuff"? IMO, it might have launched a huge literacy campaign that would have changed the world as we know it.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
The Write Stuff!

You are clearly on to something. Whoops, mis-typed that. You are clearly on something. Damn prepositions!

17. What would you write about if no one you knew read your blog?
Who I hate, why I hate them, and what exactly makes them look funny

18. Who wrote the Bible? God? The church? Some guys who were recording hearsay and conjecture? Very talented monkeys? Please give your viewpoint.
A council of very talented monkeys, a monkey qabal, if you will. I could and probably should expound, but I shan’t.

19. Please write a haiku about your job.
Mapping can be fun
Information tells stories
Stagnation is bad

20. Right?
Write

To Recap
Nothing much to recap
I still need sleep
I miss mountain dew
Not to be confused with "I, Miss Mountain Dew"
The forthcoming autobiography from Miss Mountain Dew
Not much really to recap about
Databases are boring
Tedious and boring
Might be a Superfriends themed Digital Thursday
Any requests?

September

Instead of doing the usual run down of how the weekend was, I am going to run-down what happened for the entire month of September.

How will he do this?
Is it even possible?
He can’t, he just simply can’t.
No one wields that amount of incredible power.
Will somebody please think about the children?

Be quiet all of you, and I will summarize.

This September was a typical autumn-ish month in Ohio. There were spells of time where it was a bit too hot, but, in general, it was a mild month. Some days it rained, some days it didn’t. But the weather in September of 2007 is not why you came to read this blog. I am not exactly sure what you come here for, but I am fairly sure it is not for a compilation of monthly weather statistics.

Anyway… Wifey and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past month. We celebrated that with steak. When one has a significant milestone, one should sacrifice a fatted calf to the stomach gods. So it shall be written, so it shall be done. Wifey and I also got to see how the insanely rich dine for half-price. Ludicrously priced steak at half price is still ludicrously priced steak. Needless to say, Wifey and I consumed some really really expensive meat this past month, and of the 5 pieces of nauseatingly priced steaks, only 2 were wrapped in bacon. WTF?!?!

I finished up the Random Alphabet or SRH only to watch Digital Thursdays to emerge from that burnt out shell of a weekly topic. I know some of you felt that theme-ing up the day was not necessarily what you wanted to see, but it does make things easier on me in regards to coming up with a topic. Honestly, coming up with a topic is not a trivial matter when I don’t want most of you nut-jobs knowing what is really going on in my head or my life.

Little Man started up his next year in pre-school. He seems to enjoy it, but we miss his wonderful teachers from last year. The people that he is with are fine and we are sure that they will not harm him in any way, but we just think they necessarily love him like his last teachers did. He and I also saw over 30 trains at the Weber Road crossing gate. If you are ever in town and want to see me and the boy; there is a good chance that between 6:00 pm and 7:30 pm on days other than Monday or Saturday, you can see us waiting at the crossing gates so we can wave at passing trains.

I mentioned that we ate some steak that is silly expensive.

Wifey and I started the grand undertaking of re-modeling our kitchen. This is not a trick to improve our re-sale value and/or chances. When we refinanced the house we decided that we would stay in the house for at least 5 more years. Adding a downstairs bath and expanding the kitchen is something that makes it worth while to stay.

Oh, some other crap happened, but as I stated before, I am not telling you nut-bars about it.

To Recap:
Best thing I have said in a while:
I knew my laziness would overcome your will-power
I am decaffeinating again
Maybe that will help with the sleeping
Maybe it won’t
Who knows
Nothing permanent-like, that would be silly
Man I am tired right now
I could use a drink…
20 Questions Tuesday tomorrow

Digital Thursday

Okay here we are at the second Digital Thursday. What do I have for you lovelies to look at today. All images are clickable for embiggination.

There is a comic book art forum that I have been frequenting as of late that has different challenges every week. One of the things I am trying to do is to enter these challenges.

First up we have a challenge that called for a robot and a kitten. I was assured it could be a robot and a kitten, a robot kitten, a robot made of kittens, or any combination thereof. I went with an ex-robot and a kitten.
And then I made it into a bad LOLCAT with some "stoopid" text. It is a scanned copy of sharpie on a sketch pad. The text was added in Photoshop.

Second up is a digital challenge wherein the subject of the matter is where an average person takes down something super.

In this instance I made it a member of the 101st Airborne taking down The Red Skull. The image is built from 5 separate images with a few other images used as texture maps and color palettes.

Last up is something I worked up for my freelance portfolio.

This graphic depicts two mock-up cards for a non-existent collectible card game. I figured since I am a published artist in the gaming world now, I should attempt to get more work there. This one is done within Illustrator.

Comments and crits are always welcome.

To recap:
It is wet and yucky here today
I am still rather sleep derived
The ‘Rents will be in for dinner tonight
I hope they have more topics than their financial situation
I still needs me some new bands to look for
I also need an iTunes gift card to snag some downloadable content
Mmmm… downloadable content
The Columbus Crew plays LA Galaxy this weekend
It was supposed to be “The Beckham Game”
That is not the case now
Oh well, it will still be much like a playoff atmosphere
Both teams must win to get to the play-offs
But there is a good chance that neither team will make it
Have a great weekend everyone

A good day

Today was a good day. I can tell already that the overall impression of today will be good.

“Why was it good, even though it isn’t done yet?” you ask.

Stop interrupting me and I will tell you.

Today, even though it involved an hour long conference call was good because of something I got to say. Today, even though I got to work late and had to get 2 things finished in less than 15 minutes was good because when I said that something, the person I said it to understood. Today, even though it is the middle of the work week was good because when I said it and the person understood it the ultimate results were exactly what I was looking for.

Here is a transcription of the transaction as near as I can recall it*.

Me: Can I have the 10 inch baked chicken, light on the onions and with ranch on the side?
Guy behind the counter: Sure. Anything else?
Me: Chips and a drink, oh, and can you bacon that up?
Guy behind the counter: /snicker… Yeah, we can “bacon” that up

And, lo, when the sandwich was brought forth there was bacon, and the ranch was on the side.

Today was a good day because not only did I get to use “Bacon” as a verb, I also got to eat bacon and the ranch dressing was on the side.

To recap:
Digital Thursday is tomorrow
I need some more stuff for that
Maybe I will make something new tonight
Parents are coming back through for dinner tomorrow
It should be nice
I hope the conversation does not revolve around their financial situation again
I should have gotten the sandwich on wheat
Then it would have been healthy
My head is killing me today
Hello, Fluffy
Just for clarification purposes of the above story


*Some details were deliberately omitted, some details were accidentally omitted, and some details were neither deliberately nor accidentally omitted. We call those details “included.”

20 Questions Tuesday: 60 - Cards, the Deuce

Another 20 Questions Tuesday. This week is the second in a 2 part series concerning cards. Let’s just act like I have written three more sentences about cards and that they were wonderful and all. I did glom together a bunch of the questions that were similar. Thanks this week go to: Themikestand, Dustin, J.A.Coppinger, JW, Nadolny, Allrileyedup, and Tree Monkey.

On to the questions:

1. You have two minutes and fifty words to use the word "card" as many times as possible. Please use complete sentences and attempt to hold a plot and/or theme together. Go.
At first it wasn’t my turn to deal the cards, but then it was. I dealt one card, two cards, three cards, four cards, five cards, six cards, seven cards, eight cards, and nine cards. I lost count, so I had to shuffle the cards and deal the cards again.

No very compelling reading, but it fits the bill.

2. What sports cards, if any, did you collect as a child? What would your most valuable card be if you still had it today? Best baseball card you ever owned?
I collected Hockey cards as a little kid. Sadly, not of the NHL, but of the minor league players since the only team around us was the Birmingham Bulls from the CHL. I imagine many of those cards would be worth something due to the rarity, but not worth anything due to the obscurity. Never collected baseball cards.

3. On alcohol carding: When was the last time you were carded at a bar or liquor store? How old were you the last time you were “carded” at a bar? What are your feelings about the practice of certain stores/events carding everyone, explaining that they do it because they don't want to deal with the repurcussions if they make a mistake. Now I understand it ahs gotten bad and I'm not sure where you draw the line, but I can tell you when I see a 70 year-old blue haired grandma turned down for a beer at the local catholic festival, well, we have just gone way too far. When was the last time you were carded buying alcohol?
Hmmm, I would have to say I was 25, so that would be 8 years ago. I have no qualms about carding everyone. If the blue-haired spinster really needs some alcohol, she needs to bring her ID.

4. How many cardigans do you own? Do they make you feel like Mister Rogers when you wear them? Do you put your cardigan on and change your shoes when you come home like I do? Does that seem a little weird to you too?
I do not own a cardigan, but I never understood why Mr Rogers would hang his coat up, put on a sweater and change shoes only to change back 25 minutes later. He was an odd duck. He talked to a toy trolley for chrissakes!

5. Re Tarot Cards: I just did a "Three Fates" spread on this online tarot site: asking the following question: How will my career path turn out?" My result was as follows:
Past: Five of Wands.
Present: Knight of Wands.
Future: Wheel of Fortune reversed (not Wheel. Of. Fortune! unfortunately).
Basically, pointless struggles in the past, immense conflagration and a lust for change of pace and place (can you say disturbingly accurate?) in the present, and quoting for the future, "an inescapable descent due to Fate or Karma". So, looking good for me, eh? Now you go. Choose a question, report your results. Lather, rinse, repeat. (Could hairdressing be in your future?). Do you believe in fortunes told by Tarot Cards? Do you believe in Tarot Cards? Have you ever had a reading?
My Question: Will this blog make me famous?
Past: Eight of Cups (Indolence), when reversed: The realization that a matter thought to be important was actually of little consequence. Moving on from something in which you had invested great love and devotion. The start of an inner journey to find higher aspects of life. Reflection on what is truly fulfilling in life.
Present: Queen of Pentacles: The essence of earth behaving as water, such as a hot spring: A warm and generous host, providing shelter and comfort for all who would seek it. A person steadfast, practical, and domestic, able to create opulence and stability in any setting. The qualities of maturity and sensibility, coupled with an innate appreciation for nature and the material world.
Future: The Sun: A time of contentment and freedom from restraints. Creative inspiration. Achievement, success, and warmth. Light and love in personal or business matters. Happiness and faithfulness in a relationship.

So, at least I got that going for me. I think that some people can divine the future with and without Tarot, but most people making a living at it are charlatans. So, I somewhat believe in Tarot cards even though I have never had a proper reading.

6. Is it wrong to go “all-in” with a pair of 2’s while playing Texas Hold’em?
It depends on how many people are at the table and if they were pocket 2’s to begin with. If so, I would definitely stay at least to the Turn.

7. Does Little Man know any card games?
There is a, gasp, train board game that is played with cards that he plays over at Grandma D and Grandpa R’s.

8. Is your wife as big a card shark as mine? Why don’t I like blackjack?
My wife has the worst poker face in the world. She wears her heart on her sleeve in card games. You don't like blackjack because you wife is a card shark.

9. In Soccer you can get a yellow card. Are there other colors of card you can get (green…or maybe lavender perhaps?).
Only one that is left is the red. In fencing they have a black card as well.

10. How often do you use your library card?
Once.

11. Why is the act of cleaning up wool called carding?
The initial flat comb/brush that was used for this process was called a card for some reason. Other than that… I have no clue.

12. Re: Greeting Cards: Does it matter if you buy cards for your loved ones at Hallmark or k-mart? How many cards to you send out a year on average? (separate xmas cards from the rest) Hallmark, what a gimmick, I think they were founded by P. T. Barnum. Do you invest in their stock? Make up a greeting right now. Preferably one of those sappy ABAB rhyme scheme anniversary poem cards. Have you ever felt you could write better greeting cards than Hallmark? Or at least design better graphics for them?
Yes. 4 with 25 Christmas (I am guessing here, Wifey knows this stuff, not me). Somewhat gimmicky. No.

Who would have thought
That in 10 years
You could still be bought
Just with 12 beers
Happy 10th Anniversary!

Sometimes for both of the last questions

13. Do you keep all the cards Wifey gives you-dating back to the very beginning of your relationship? (I hope your answer doesn’t get you in trouble)
Nope.

14. If you caught someone cheating during a high stakes card game, and had carte blanche in terms of handling it, how would you most likely do so?
a. Blast him from under the table a la Cowboy/Han Solo-Greedo style
b. Give 'em an Apollo Creed beat down
c. Let them off with a stern warning
3 words: Han Shot First

15. The lovely wife asks "Why are there two Jokers in a deck of cards?"
No she doesn’t.

16. How many library, insurance, credit, bank, grocery, gas, and other cards are unnecessarily bulking up your wallet to the point of almost not fitting in your back pocket?
I count 11.

17. Do you give thank you cards for gifts if you say thank you when u get stuff? I keep seeing people do that and I think it is overboard.
I am not the person to ask about “Thank You Card” etiquette. I would never send them if it were not for Wifey’s insistence.

18. Ever play blackjack or poker in Vegas?
Sidenote: When I went to Vegas, I saw a sign at one of the casinos that said they understood gambling was a problem and therefore, they would not allow anyone to spend more than one million dollars. What the heck is the matter with these people?
I have never been to Vegas.

19. Did you have an emergency credit card in college, and if so, did you use it on pizza?
I sadly did not use it on Pizza, I geekily filled it up with text book purchases. College text books are a racket and a half!

20. Before Little Man, did you get together with your buddies on Friday night to play cards?
I don’t have any friends to play cards with and have never had “poker buddies.”


To recap:
Demo is starting on the sun porch today
Yippee?
My body is cursing the day I got my gym membership
In many different languages
I wish I could get some sleep
I am rather tired
More than that I am tired of looking at databases
Yeeee-uck
I am trying to get some stuff together for Digital Thursday
This process takes some effort.
I will give you this statement as a preview
Robot + Kitten = hilarity?

Over the Cliff

This Sunday rushed into existence with Wifey and Mimma weeding the front bank. What started out as a simple few hours of weeding transformed into a morning chore of making the outside of the house look passable. That process was well overdue… well over do indeed. I joined them about 1.5 hours into their effort because I needed some more sleep. So the morning was all about getting the front bank in order, but the afternoon… the afternoon was important for other reasons.

Sunday afternoon, Wifey and I took a step off the cliff that is known as kitchen remodeling. We are extending our kitchen into the existing sunroom, turning the old kitchen into a office or breakfast nook and adding a half bath to the downstairs. Luckily this can all be done in stages, so we can at least breathe a sigh of relief. There is a strong chance that we can have most of the work accomplished in a relatively short period of time. Please let it be a relatively short period of time. The good news is that we are staging the work such that we can do pieces at a time.

Anyway… yesterday we ordered the new bank of windows for the kitchen. Now we need to see about ordering a new back door and a skylight, cabinets, countertops… Oh, the pain…

Because some of you will ask: The weekend started with a nice dinner with the parents. It was at California Pizza Kitchen and quite tasty. Oddly, the ‘Rents talked about their financial situation the entire night, and by “talked” I really mean bragged. They are quite happy with their financial predicament, and rightly so, but when I ask if they could hand me an extra napkin I don’t mean “So what is the status of all your assets?” I honestly just need the extra napkin because Little Man dropped some pasta. When I say, “Wow, this pizza sure is tasty today.” I am not asking, “So how did the return on your investments go?”

Side note: Little Man is somehow fascinated with restaurant restrooms. He “needs” to go pee at least 4 times a meal. I don’t get it. The only thing I can figure out is that he enjoys watching Papa’s food get cold. He is mean like that.

To recap:
If I remember, I’ll get before and after shots of the kitchen
Don’t hold your breath though
I am not rememberating thingies very well these days
Heroes starts up tonight
I need some sleep
Boy do I need some sleep
Different sentence than:
Boy, do I need some sleep?
More card related questions tomorrow
It will be a hoot
A hoot I say, a Hoot!

Digital Thursday

It is official. Thursday’s from now until I get tired of it (and I mean really really tired of it) will be Digital Thursdays!

Here it comes

Number 1:
Updated Dr Doom stuff. I reworked some stuff on this one. I think the piece is stronger for it as well.
(embigginable with click)

Number 2:
Prince Namor (Pencil and some colored pencils) this one turned out a bit too muddied without any real style to it


Number 3:
So I digitally reworked it. I think it works better I still need to clean some of it up though.

(Embiggin this piece
One click will do it for you
More Namor Goodness)

Number 4:
This is a sharpie drawing of Namor swimming. I stripped him down from the gladiatorial idea I had in the previous pieces. It is an odd pose and I think I almost pulled it off. If I had stylized the drawing more, this could have worked, or if I had tweaked the pose a bit it could have been stronger.(Click for embigginage)


Number 5:
Electric Utilities in the Northwest Ohio US 30 Corridor

(When clicked, will embiggen)

Comments and critiques are quite welcome.
Did this work for folk?

To recap:
Steak for dinner
I am hungry, but I am waiting for the steaking
Mmmm steaking
Allrileyedup: Theoretical Thursdays are all you
One more evening until parental unit touchdown
Geeking it out tomorrow
Don’t ask
It does involve multi-sided dice
And character sheets
And general geekiness
Have a great weekend everyone

Sense of impending doom

Wednesday is like the continental divide of the work week. Everything on the calendar to the left of Wednesday flows into the unhappy category of “beginning of the week” while everything to the right of Wednesday flows into the “end of the week.” Typically, right about now I want my week to flow inexorably to the weekend. That is the typical, but this weekend is anything but typical. This is a weekend that involves… my parents.

Let me state something to just set up the background information. I love my parents. My parents are good people. My parents are doing the best they can in this world with the tools that they have. My parents have a bunch to offer.

Okay now that I have given the background information, here are some other facts about my parents. They are not happy people, for whatever reason they have never learned how to be happy. I have my theories about this, but that is a post for another day. Due to this lack of happiness (I wouldn’t go so far to say that they are always “unhappy.” Often… but not always) they tend to be not nice people. They tend to be very critical of others and very negative. Also, since they are not happy, they tend to not want to do things (there are other reasons for their lack of doing, but, again, a post for another day… maybe). This lack of doing things and this criticalness of others blend mercilessly into a cocktail of being critical of whoever and wherever they are visiting even if it doesn’t really make that much sense. In fact this lack of sense making criticalness is one of the main reasons that Wifey and I don’t like them around. They just don’t make any damn sense.

For example, in 2001 when they came to visit us in our fine little neighborhood of Clintonville, my mom asked (and asked in all seriousness), “This place isn’t named after Bill Clinton, is it? That man is a disgusting pig.” Regardless of one’s political leanings, this is a stupid question born of unhappiness. So this is what we have to look forward to this weekend as my parents pass through. There will be criticism of all. This criticism will be especially harsh if it the object of criticism is one they do not understand, and there are many things they do not understand.

To recap:
Blast from the past: “Are your hamburgers juicy?”
Everyone has embarrassing quotes from their parents
If I were the ruler of a nation it would be named Esoterica
My armed forces would be the Minutiae
There would be many laws of the land but most of them would be obscure
So far the votes for Thursday are:
Digital Thursday aka A: 5.5
Written Thursday aka B: .5
Theory Thursday aka C: 2
No Theme Thursday aka D: 3
With 11 votes tallied so far including the faux Little Man
The poll will be over at 7 pm EST tonight
I look forward to seeing what Thursday is picked

20 Questions Tuesday: 59 - Cards - the Ace

Here it is 20 Questions Tuesday again and all I could come up with for a topic is Cards. I am slipping to say the least. My slipping doesn’t matter when I have such fine questioneers stepping up and providing questions for me. Enough questions, in fact that the topic will be extended to next week as well.

Anyway, thanks this week go to Belsum, Bomber, Lsig, I C Yellow, Lord Pithy,

On to the questions:

1. Do you actually read birthday cards or just look to see if there’s money inside?
A little of column A and a little of column B. It depends on who the card is from. Some people I know give the absolute worst cards (my parents). For example, I recently got a Garfield birthday card. There is not much literary merit in reading a Garfield card. Luckily there was money in the card…

2. Do you save cards if someone wrote a message inside?
I don’t unless it is a prophesy that tells of a future wherein I, a simple farm boy from an unknown hamlet, become King due to vanquishing the existing evil overlord. All kept prophecies should be in the form of literary cliché.

3. When’s the last time you touched a real deck of cards and what did you play?
Probably about 1 year ago, and I played a few different types of solitaire.

4. Christmas cards: bane of your existence or fun way to keep in touch?
I find them more of a “I’m still alive” notice than a way to keep in touch. I think they are a nice thing because they let people know that even if you have not talked to them, you occasionally think about them.

5. Are you a card-carrying member of anything?
The Columbus Zoo, COSI, and My dental PPO

6. Fill in the blanks: It's just NOT in the cards for SRH to... It is IN the cards for SRH to...
a. …fly a Chinese Jet Fighter.
b. …start doing some freelance graphic design. Any takers? Anyone…?

7. What is your favorite card game?
On the PC, I would say Spider Solitaire. In the real world… umm… do constructible/collectible/pocket model card games count?

8. Can you imagine playing Spider Solitaire with actual cards? Would there be a point?
That thought keeps me awake at night. The tedium necessary to set up the game would not be worth the reward. Not to mention the lack of “ctrl+z” ability.

9. Christmas cards: nice tradition or bothersome chore?
A little of column A and a little of column B. Wifey always wants the cards to be better than the previous year’s cards, but she doesn’t have to make the cards.

10. What is the job title on your business cards (assuming you have them)?
Senior Cartographer / GIS Coordinator

That being said, I would kill someone and eat their spleen if I could get the title Señor Cartographer! Especially if there was an acoustic guitar flourish every time someone (even me) said my title.

Fun fact: Not only would I get the title, Señor Cartographer, I would also steal their soul.

11. Do you care enough to send the very best?
That all depends on the “to whom.”

12. Where can I buy me some "porno" cards for bowling?
I didn’t realize one could use “porno” cards to bowl. I always thought that bowling was done with a an orb manufactured from proactive urethane.

13. Alice in Wonderland: a mathematical parable by a literary genius, or a drug-induced dream by a person of questionable intentions toward children?
Honestly, Lewis Carroll was a literary genius. There are theories that point towards pedophilia. So in answer to your question, I would say that the 2 are not mutually exclusive categories and he most likely was both.

14. If your life were to be presented in a Hallmark Hall of Fame teleplay, who would play you, and what event in your life would be the subject of this touching dramatization?
The indelible Robby Benson (as stated by Wifey, her words not mine) and the movie would be about my overcoming my hatred for elliptical trainers.

15. In elementary school, which cartoon character Valentine's Day cards set did you buy?
Garfield. Hey, I had no taste as a kid.

16. If you've ever found yourself standing in the card aisle in the store, giggling, what do you think people think about you? (You may treat this as two unrelated questions, if you like.)
No, and for part 2… “What a handsome devil.”

17. Don't you hate people who fill a greeting card envelope with that crappy plastic confetti so that if spills all over the place when you open it?
Yes, yes I hate them. I hate them like no one has every hated anyone before. The hatred of the confetti card bastards knows no limits. It is a hatred that burns like cold fire. It is an all consuming loathing that keeps me awake at night screaming silently to the heavens about the injustice of the confetti’s mere existence. There is a special place in Hell where people who put that confetti in cards will remain for eternity… ummm… let’s go on to the next question shall we?

18. Why do some people insist on using the type of cards they do for their bowling?
I have been caught completely unawares of how many people actually use cards to bowl. I really thought it was done with a 8 to 16 pound bowling ball all this time. Now it turns out that bowling is done with a deck of 52 playing cards of questionable subject matter.

19. Give a short history on the use of yellow/red cards in soccer
Well, there is not much to tell. The yellow/red card phenomenon is not constrained just to soccer. It seems to hearken back a loooooong ways. Beyond my paltry abilities to find a suitable explanation from the Internet.

20. How did the spade receive its sinister reputation?
I was not aware that the spade had a sinister reputation. If anything should have the sinister reputation it should be the club… the club of baby seal fame!


To recap:
The parents are still coming to town on Friday
:-(
One of the projects I am working on seems to be blowing up quite explosively
Yeah, me!
The voting is still going for the Thursday Thang
Vote. It is you inalienable right!
You know what is sad?
The fact that :-) is older than some of my co-workers
That’s sad
I personally find the “-“ in “:-)” to be overkill
That is sad as well
Probably more sad when you think about it
So don’t think about it