20 Questions Tuesday: 35 - Letters

Today’s 20 Questions Tuesday is about the varied and interesting topic of “Letters.” Now, there are many kinds of letters that people refer to all the time. There are the letters that make up the alphabet, there are letters that are pen and paper missives from long lost friends and family, there are the letters that are found at the end of people’s names that signify educational and professional standing. Basically, the topic of letters is a very open ended one. That is how I like my topics to be.

Thanks this week go to the ever present Lord Pithy, the succinct Kim, the un-flappable Dr B-Dawg, the phasers set to deep fry Belsum, the word-mistress Bomber, and the typically just under the wire JW.

On to the Questions.

1. What was the foulest message you ever received from your Alpha-Bits cereal or alphabet soup?
Cereal: You need to pray more you heathen
Do you think God was trying to say something? The randomness is stunning really. I mean what is the possibility of all those words being spelled correctly and having the appropriate spaces and all?
Soup: Do not listen to the cereal – Beelzebub
And to think both these sentences came up in the same day. What a co-inky-dink

2. What's your opinion on the new Forever Stamp?
I love it. I feel like I would like to buy them in bulk, but alas and alack, I am too poor.

3. After "YMCA," what is the best song that is spelled?
S-S-S-S-A-A-A-A-F-F-F-F-T-T-T-T-Y-Y-Y-Y D-D-D-D-A-A-A-A-N-N-N-N-C-C-C-C-E-E-E-E. Sure it is not consistently spelled through out the song, but I like it none-the-less. Better than M-E-T-H-O-D-O-F-L-O-V-E in the Hall and Oats classic Method of Modern Love. Although now that I think about it, I want to change my answer to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha Franklin kicks major ass.

4. When was the last time someone spelled something around you so you wouldn't know what was being said? What was being said?
Are you kidding me? Wifey still spells things around me.

5. Did you "letter" in any high school sports?
Soccer.

6. Is English the only language that prides itself on having no two letter members as part of its elite 26?
The English language is curiously devoid of double letter symbols such as “æ.” I think in general English has a thing against diphthongs.

7. How long can you handwrite a letter before your hand fatigues and you can no longer write? I used to be able to write pages endlessly - now - 5 sentences.
I can actually make it about a page before the hand starts to protest, and three if I push through the “pain.” Is it legible? That is a different question.

8. If 1 is the loneliest number - is Q the most obsessive and clingy letter around in that it needs to have U around all the time or are Q and U a happy couple?
Q is most definitely codependent, and I think U is at fault for enabling. I thought it was a great that Q struck it out on its own when it helped make Iraq. Too bad about the outcome there…

9. Native speakers of other languages always boast that their language has words/phrases that couldn't possibly be translated and have the same meaning because they are so complicated or convey a feeling that English can't express..... - is this just sour grapes because they haven't been able to add a new word to their lexicon in the last 50years that didn't sound English or is there really something to it?
The French are still smarting about the whole “Samedi et Dimanche” being shortened to “le weekend,” and I found it interesting that at the bilingual wedding this weekend when the Japanese was interspersed with words like “communication.” There is no idiom in Japanese for “communication?” Really? I go with sour grapes.

10. Is cursive about dead? It is faster than printing and definitely the style for marathon writing for its ease but, again, who handwrites anything of length anymore. It seems to be joining the ranks of calligraphy in being pretty but utterly useless.
Cursive is definitely dying. So is block printing. It looks like grade schools are starting to teach a script writing style. It is kind of a hybrid between full on cursive and block letters.

11. If you could obtain another degree, frivolous or practical, what would you choose?
Black Belt

12. Do you still write letters or do you only send e-mail?
Pretty much all electronic these days. I have though about writing something out and scanning it in as a .pdf, you know, as a personal touch.

13. Best letter you've ever received?
The first summer that Wifey and I dated was a long distance relationship. We actually sent each other letters. It was very sweet.

14. "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me." How about you?
Abso-frikkin-lutely

15. X is for...?
I don’t know what it is for, but it most definitely marks the spot.

16. In keeping with your alphabet theme, what is your favorite letter of ANY Alphabet?
I like the Hebrew “aleph,” א It is the cardinality of the rational numbers.

17. What was the subject of the WORST letter you've received?
Hmmm... the subject? It was a grade for a class I needed to graduate

18. What were Letterman's super powers? His weaknesses?

Faster than a rolling 'O'
Stronger than silent 'E'
Able to leap capital 'T' in a single bound!
It's a word, it’s a plan...it's Letterman!

As I recall, he really didn’t have a weakness, but his whole shtick, and therefore his strength was to add a letter to a word and to make it into something else.

19. Quick! Name three songs that have something to do with writing someone a letter.
The Police – Message in a Bottle
There’s that Eminem song about the obsessed fan that goes mental, called Stan. (I had to look that one up)
And I am drawing a blank for a third, a little help?

20. Do they still make Alpha-bits cereal?
Yup

To recap:
Had Little Man’s parent/teacher conference today
Little Man is doing well
I guess if I want more comments, I should post more contraversial topics

I haven't had 11 comments for a long time

I am getting close to needing another haircut
Hear that, JW? You will be getting an email soon
Saw that Little Man did a family portrait at preschool
Little Man is a stick figure
Wifey is a stick figure
I am a round shape with sticks for arms and legs
This pushing myself at the gym is killing me
By “killing me” I mean making my weak little muscles sore
But it looks like Little Man thinks I am Fatty McFatterson
So I guess I need to work out more
I am “in the barrel,” so to speak
There are worse places to be

Inter-racialocityishness

One thing that I often forget is the fact that Wifey and I are an inter-racial couple. There are many reasons for this memory lapse, the main reason being that in Columbus, we don’t get stared at like we are circus freak shows on display for our aberrant union. It is rare indeed when we go out for dinner and are the only inter-racial couple/family in whatever restaurant we happen to be going to. The other reasons tend to come from my own whacked out philosophy and weird ideas about humanity, but today I am not going to get into the race politics in the U.S. more than saying, sometimes racial stuff comes up with my family from time to time. Granted, I get to say all this from a really privileged point of view though, being an adult white male in the U.S. between the ages of 25 and 45, and since I am in the power majority of the US (I am “the Man,” so to speak) it is very beneficial for me to say I don’t feel like dealing with the race issue. That way I can hire another white guy and feel okay about it.

Anyway… all that crap being said, this weekend was one of those moments where our inter-racialality was brought into sharp focus. There are places in the world where my family does not feel safe (hello, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, etc…), and there are places where we just don’t feel comfortable. This weekend was one of those discomfort escapades.

Wifey and I went to a wonderful wedding this weekend. It was a nice low-key affair with some great music and sweet and sour meatballs. The event was about 2 hours to the southwest of Columbus. I won’t mention town names because I don’t want to start a blog of name-calling (unless it is about making fun of Alabama that is a different story all together.). After the wedding, Wifey and I decided that we were going to grab a bite to eat. We went to the local mall to find some food. With Wifey’s gall bladder issues and recent tumor discovery we have found that fast food is really difficult for her to stomach, so we eschewed the food court and went to one of the restaurants inside the mall. As we walked though the mall to find our restaurant, I started wondering if Wifey’s tumor was visible. People were just starting at the 2 of us like… like… like they could see Wifey’s more than golf ball sized tumor pulsing with purple light (I am not sure it pulses with purple light, but it makes it scarier in my mind’s eye, so I go with it). Wifey had to stare down a few people on the walk to the restaurant. It is funny, usually when people stare and we confront them with a return stare (Wifey is better at this than me), they usually look away pretty quickly. There is always at least one 65+ year old white guy who will just keep staring, so offended by our union that he cannot look away.

The wait was only 15 to 30 minutes, so we didn’t forego the mall eatery and just head to a Bob Evan’s (which was plan B, ‘cause we are “down on the farm,” yo!). We did decide to wait outside of the restaurant since that is where the empty benches were. It was alarming to see all the people come in and stare at us sharing a bench in the mall, and to realize that we were only 2 hrs away from home. Again, there were many a person caught staring at the spectacle of inter-racialocity. Our inter-racialness probably burned holes in their retinas and corrupted their very souls. I like to think we left that mall with many a person tainted by our un-recommended and looked down upon, yet legal, union.

To recap:
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about “letters”
Little Man likes wearing shorts
We found a new restaurant for him on Friday
He likes the steak nachos with black beans and no cheese, guacamole, or sour cream
Come on people! A white man with a biracial/black woman should not be considered so weird!
I have all sorts of rose thorns in my left hand
The right one just has scratches
I have to work out tonight
Yeeee-uck

T: 20 of 26

Ah, the second of my on-going 26 part series on the Alphabet of SRH. So in the ever increasingly out of order alphabetic jumble, I bring you the letter T.

T: Big T, Little t, what begins with T
Ten tired turtles in a tuttle-tuttle tree

Oh, venerable “T.” The history of T is long and varied. T is one of those letters that seems to have always been. There is a proto-semetic version of it and a Phoenician version as well. This letter has been around for a long long time. The longevity of the letter and its storied history sadly culminate with the letter representing the word “topology” for little old me.

Had I continued in mathematics I would have done the bulk of my research and studies in the branch referred to as Geometric Topology. Here is where I get all “mathy,” as Wifey likes to put it. Topology is the study of geometric properties which are dependant only upon the relative positions of the components such as adjacency, containment, connectivity, etc…, and not on any measurable component such as height, width, angular deformation, etc… Topology is kind of the intersection of set theory and geometry. It is pretty much a hybrid area in mathematics. The people who dwell there are often not the stuffed shirt pocket protector mathematicians that one typically thinks of. I am not saying that these few souls are cool or even non-geeky, I am saying that they are usually drunk.

The problem with being a topologist is that there are not many jobs out there looking for people who can determine if two spaces are homeomorphic or topologically equivalent (most spaces you can think of are, by the way… even that one… that one too. Those spaces are not homeomorphic, well done Peefer*).

My junior year in college, I decided that mathematics was not the long-term future for me. It was around that time that I took a cartography course and found a “new” career path. Mathematics as a career died for me when I failed the first part of a 2 part class in my senior year (mainly due to a particular professor’s teaching style and our particular brand of personality conflict). Those 2 classes were the only hitches to graduating, so I started the series again in my “super-senior” year, this time with the prof who actually wrote the text book, and aced the both of them.

I have not taken a math course since, and have subsequently lost most of the knowledge that I had crammed in my noggin that dealt with convex hulls, non-Euclidean geometries, metrizable spaces, Poincaré groups, etc… Right now, I recognize those words as things that have to do with topology, but I could not tell you what. At one time in my life, for a very brief instant, I was intelligent.

To recap:
I think I might be off the alarm duty in the mornings
This morning, I messed it up again
This time I accidentally set the clock ahead 1 hour
Little Man was up at 6 am instead of 7 am
Hijinx did not ensue
One of these days I will re-study one of the topo books that I have on my desk
It will probably bring me one step closer to ruling the world
Have a great weekend everyone

*Just playing the odds here. There may be some others of you that could come up with 2 spaces that are not homeomorphic, but my bet is that Peefer came up with it first.

radio/buzzer

I accidentally hit the clock radio alarm switch from the “radio” setting to the “alarm” setting this morning.

Little Man did not like that. No sirree, he did not like that at all.

To recap:
This week seems to be dragging
After Little Man calmed down he said, “Papa! You Noooo Doooo That Again!”
Don't worry, I learned my lesson
I am either working out tonight, or Wifey is doing a yoga seminar
At least for one of us, there will be sweatin’ involved
I have a meeting in 10 minutes
It is about a road in Indiana
I will be doing everything in my power to keep myself awake
I am not that confident in consciousness maintenance abilities
Not confident at all…

20 Questions Tuesday: 34 - Perception

It is that time of the week again. That’s right, it is 20 Questions Tuesday time, well not "Time," that was last week and the week before. Many of the questions I received about “Time” ended up being more about “perception,” so the idea for today’s topic was born. Many have said that possession (not the demonic kind) is 9/10ths of the law. If that is truly the case, then perception is 9/10ths or reality (not realty, turns out that perception is only 1/22nd of realty, who would have thought?). So today’s topic is very relative. It really depends upon people’s point of view. Here we go with the 5th dimension: Perception.

Thanks this week to Lord Pithy, ACW, J.A.Coppinger, Peefer, and JW. On to the questions!

1. Does it matter if the glass is half full or half empty if there's a waiter standing nearby?
Only if they respond to a snap of the fingers and a bellow of “Garçon?”

2. How many wrongs will make a right?
22 1/2. It is the half wrong that is the bugger, and you have to do 22 full wrongs in a row, and then the half wrong. It is just how it works. Might as well do the right, don’t ya think?

3. I would rather be lucky than skilled. What would you rather be?
Lucky, most definitely lucky.

4. Given it can't be your brain in the pan, who's dream would you want to be a part of?
Honestly, I am probably part of many people’s dreams but they either don’t know me, or they don’t want to tell me.

5. Why are pessimists attributed with the saying "the glass is half empty" and not "Fuck it - the world's going to end anyway"?
I think that is how the hedonists look at it, not the pessimists.

6. Why is it that 60°F (15.56°C or 288.71K) in the Autumn is chilly and in the Spring its considered warm?
Perception.




Okay, I kid, but not really. It has to do with the direction and magnitude of the temperature change. When the body is used to a certain temperature a 10° F swing in either direction is going to be noticeable. If it is -20° F (-28.89°C or 244.26K) outside and then warms up to 14°F (-10°C or 263.15K), 14°F feels like an absolutely balmy and warm day.

7. How is it that we can identify the idiots, yet the idiots are oblivious to their own existence? Don't they look in the mirror?
I once read somewhere (I forget where) that 75 to 80% of people think that they are smarter than the average person. This, of course, is statistically impossible. Stupid people don’t know they are stupid. Idiotic people don’t know they are idiots, but the smart folk are well aware of their smarts.

8. What is the most ridiculous popular perception you can think of?
That I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is butter. Come on people! “It’s Not Butter” is in the name!

9. How do you think strangers perceive you?
Well, old folk are scared of me for some reason (especially when I am driving in a parking lot), so I would have to go with scary. I am interested in what others think though, so please comment away. You guys are probably stranger than most.

10. What was your most mistaken perception from when you were a kid?
Girls are icky.

11. What do you perceive as the most important thing needed for a happy life?
A strong sense of self. I don’t necessarily think that it will; bring you happiness by itself, but I think it is the foundation upon which happiness is built.

12. Is perception the cause of the “Age Gap” or are we just becoming cranky old farts?
These are not mutually exclusive categories. The age gap can exist without cranky old farts, and cranky old farts can exist without an age gap.

13. When I perceive blue and you perceive blue, are we seeing the same blue? Maybe your blue is my fuchsia.
We are most likely Not seeing the exact same hue of blue because of differences in our optical abilities. But I would most likely think that with the homogenization of world culture, that the concept of blue is becoming more uniform. Now my blue might be someone else’s turquoise or periwinkle, but fuchsia is a bit of a stretch. Now there is such a thing as blue/green color vision deficiency, so that might be an issue as well, but blue/fuchsia is a bit of a stretch.

14. What is the smallest thing you are aware of ever having seen without the use of an optical aid? With the use of an optical aid?
Hmmm… I believe I have seen a generic mote with un-aided vision, and the smallest thing I can think of that I have seen with a microscope is an amoeba.

15. What would it be like to live without depth perception.
Painful and Bruisey

16. What is the maximum number of small pet dogs (e.g. terriers) you think you could have without them being a severe detriment to the quality of your life?
1

17. What was your perception of question number 16?
It was a well phrased question, but lacking in background research. Had the questioner dug even remotely into my past, the questioner would have realized my dislike of canines.

18. Please attempt to explain to me why, no matter what, my wife and I will generally tend to perceive the EXACT same thing completely differently?
Well, sir, that is because your views of the events are wrong. It is easier when you just accept that.

19. Do you feel there is any likelihood that some or any of us possess the latent (or not so latent) ability of Extra Sensory Perception?
There is an amazing amount of the brain that we just do not use. I can only imagine that some of it would lead to more than typical perception. I have already remarked about my amazing déjà vu abilities.

20. Just how does women's intuition work?
Just like a man’s “Gut Instinct.” It sounds better though.

To recap:
The mass on Wifey’s liver is a Focal Nodular Hyperplasia
She goes into more depth here
Let me just say that grape sized tumors are nothing, walnut sized tumors are for schmucks, golf ball sized tumors make me laugh.
Now, a golf ball and a half – that’s a tumor
Papa’s in the barrel right now
Little Man loves him some Papa
It’s sweet – and suffocating
WV Slim, all of your questions were, I believe, about “conception”
I will answer them here: 1. Do you think God makes babies, or is it more likely that the guy just didn't pull out in time? 2. Do you believe that Mary was a virgin? 3. My mom once told me a could still get pregnant with my underwear on. To this day I am still confused by this. Can you shed some light on it? 4. Is jumping up and down an effective form of birth control?
1. Ummm… Pulling out is not an effective method of birth control. That and the rhythm method are colloquially referred to as “pregnant” 2. Not when I met her. We are talking about the same “Mary,” right? 3. I believe she didn’t want you to be doing ANYTHING sexual EVER. Parents are naïve like that (isn’t that right ACW?). That is how I read that one. 4. Nope
Thanks for sending questions though
24 questions for the price of 20
You guys got a bargain
Sloppy Joe’s aren’t’ nearly as good on night three
The word of the day today is proprioceptive
I have really small weak muscles that protest when I use them
I increased my workout all around last night
I balanced that out with a Vanilla Frosty
I am sore today
Not because of the Vanilla Frosty
There is nothing wrong with the Vanilla Frosty
Nothing
Nothing!
NOTHING!

The Forced Nap

Yesterday Little Man forced me to take a nap with him. That’s right, “Forced me.” You see, he needed a nap, but I had already taken a nap (stop judging me, I was tired). It was a nice morning nap while Little Man and Wifey went to feed some ducks at a local park. Turns out they had to go to 3 different parks to feed the ducks. The first park had a rather prominently displayed extremely stringent anti-duck feeding policy, so it was a no go. The second park had a lack of ducks. The third and final park had a no duck feeding policy, but it was not as audaciously displayed. Wifey and Little Man ignored the small anti duck feeding signs there and gave the ducks a mighty repast consisting of old (non-moldy but slightly stale) hamburger buns. Upon arriving home, Little Man made a bee-line to the bed-room to wake me up and tell me of the duck feeing adventure. After waking me up, he then went down stairs and shed his shoes and coat.

Anyway… fast forward 1 hour. Wifey is really tired and ready for a nap. I had been cleaning the night before and a little that morning, so I wanted to continue getting my portion of “getting the house in order,” so to speak. Little Man was having none of it. He wanted a nap with Papa. We tried talking him into a nap with Wifey, but it just was not working. The only way Wifey was getting a nap, was if I napped as well. So all three of us trudged up the wooden hill and got into a various sleeping positions. It took him about 45 minutes to fall asleep, but then he slept hardcore for 1.5 hours, with me in tow.

To recap:
I napped for 3 hours yesterday
We still cleaned the kitchen, the dining room, picked up the living room, did some laundry
I didn’t fall asleep until 2 am
I got my blood elf warlock up to level 25 though
Little Man had his second part of his OT eval today
We are not as displeased with the process today
We = Wifey + Me, not the royal “We” that I use when I talk about the realm and me
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions are about Perception…. Ooooh… perception

A: 1 of 26

Here we go with the alphabet of SRH. This is going to be a 26 part series wherein I give, you the fine readers of Under Construction a glimpse into me, SRH, by blathering on for a while about a letter.

A: Big A, Little A, what begins with A? Aunt Annie’s Alligator, A… a… a…

The most significant thing about me that I can think of that has to do with the letter “A” is the fact that I spent the majority of my childhood in Alabama. I was born in Oklahoma, but the fam moved to Alabama when I was 3, I think. My dad was in the Air Force and got stationed at Gunter Air Station in Mongomery, Alabama. If I remember correctly we moved there on my 3 rd birthday. My only real strong memory of that time was when this kid bit my nose when I slid down the slide he was climbing up.

A couple of years later, Dad retired from the Air Force (not his choice, in fact, no male in my family has ever switched jobs by choice, they have either been fired/let-go/permanently laid off or stayed until they retired ) and took a job in Birmingham. While I was able to get out of Montgomery, I was still stuck in Alabama. I stayed in Birmingham from age 5-ish til I was 18, when I fled to an out-of-state-state college. While stuck in that horrid state I was lucky enough to actually go to a high school with some college prep classes, so I was not too far behind when I got to college. Even though that school (much like most schools in ‘Bama) had an insane drop-out rate. My freshman class was something like 600-650 students in size and my graduating class had 365. You do the math. People who transferred out should be cancelled out by the people who transferred in, so a good chunk of the loss was just that, loss.

It has been almost 15 years since I spent the majority of a year in that state, and, honestly (because if I cannot be honest on my blog, where can I be honest?), I am quite happy to not go back there anytime soon. Since marrying the Wifey almost 10 years ago, I think I have been back “home” 4 times. I don’t miss it at all. Beyond the overt and covert racism that exists down there, there is an accompanying religious fatalism that infests the state as well. It is an overwhelming sense of “If that’s how God wants it to be.” For an extreme instance, there are some people down there who won’t go into a tornado shelter because, “If the Lord is calling me back to the flock, then who am I to say ‘no?’”

This fatalism gives the general populace the righteous power to do nothing. That, my friends, is why I do not like Alabama (aside from the un-educated boobery and rampant –isms within that "culture").

To recap:
Only 25 more letters to go
Still deciding if I should go alphabetically or follow whimsy
If I follow whimsy “Q” will whimsically be last
Looks like it will be orange rice for dinner
Little Man deserves it
40°F shift last night
16.67°C shift last night
But the temp only went from 294.26K to 277.59K
There is a good chance my sinuses will hurt me for that shift tomorrow
Only time will tell
Have a great weekend, everyone

Walk

Aside from mauling 4 different cats yesterday evening, the walk with Wifey and Little Man went really well, but there was one thing Wifey and I realized about the walk.

To rebuild the day for you, fine readers: It was It is 74 º F (23-24 ºC for you metric folks and 296.4833 K for the physicists out there). It was cloudy and just the slight bit breezy. When the family converged upon the house, there was much flinging open of windows and opening of doors. Happiness ensued. After the airing out of the stuffy house was well underway and all parties involved had eaten something (Little Man’s dinner last night consisted of 1.5 bananananas) we set out on our walk.

Typically we like to walk for about 30 minutes. We just mosey through the neighborhood and enjoy how nice it feels outside. It is quite the nice experience. All involved are usually reluctant to go back home especially Little Man. His reason for continuing the walk stems from his knowledge that the bed-time ritual commences whence the promenade is accompli. We let Little Man direct us here and there and eventually start to wind our way back to the homestead. It is good to give him some control in his life, since so much of his life is out of his control.

Last night, after walking a mere 15 minutes, the little one starts directing us back toward the house. Wifey and I are not ready for our first family walk to be over so we start to direct him away from chez SRH and back deeper into the neighborhood. About 5 minutes pass and we notice that the urchin is exhibiting signs of a full bladder… 5 blocks from home. 5 blocks we would have traversed had we just gone home when the boy wanted to, nay… NEEDED to go home. Turns out that our little potty buddy knew that he was going to need to use the facilities rather soon and his parents forced him to stay away from the potty. We felt great about that. So, I helped him find a tree to bestow his gift of pee. Now, Wifey and I have taught him that trees in alleys are acceptable places to pee. Hurray for us.

To recap:
Maybe we should listen to the youngun
He typically does not want to go home, unless he has to
Peed like a race horse, he did
Once finished peeing, he commented that the tree did not indeed have a flush
He was correct
On the walk he stated to Wifey that she is a “big woman”
Much giggling on Papa’s part ensued
Then Little Man commented that Papa was a “big, fat woman”
Much more giggling on Mama’s part ensued
Working out tonight
Yippeee!
Actually, the working out does seem to be getting better
I don’t hate it the entire time I am there now
I still hate everyone there, but I don’t hate the entire time I am there
It is still not enjoyable, just not hate filled

20 Questions Tuesday: 33 -Time (part 2)

Here we go again. Time is the topic for today, again. Thanks this week goes to Belsum, JW, Bomber, Atmikha, and Wifey.

To the questions:

1. Which incarnation is your favorite Time Lord?
I have never been much of a Dr Who fan. I just couldn’t get into it. The most current version seems the best as far as special effects. So far I like this guy’s version of the Who franchise.

2. How often do you test out 88.5 mph—just in case?
If I owned a Delorian, I would so drive 88.5 all the time. Mainly so I could go back to 1962 and where my mother would hit on me and I’d have to engage in hilarious shenanigans to get my parents back together. And I would also go back to 1964 to keep my mom from shagging that yeti.

3. “Timeline? This is no time to talk about time. We don't have the time!... What was I saying?” - How awesome is drunk Deanna Troi?
Ah, Deanna Troi, a character that they really did not know how to use. “I am sensing pain… great pain!” Thanks a bunch, Troi! Do you think you could sense something useful?

4. I think that the protagonist in The Time Machine is a friggin idiot for testing out his vehicle and not bringing supplies. Hell, he didn’t even pack a sandwich! What are the minimally required items for the intrepid traveler?
I would want a weeks worth of food, some clean underwear, a firearm of some form, cheez-its (for currency), some beer (also for currency), a small commando force, enough Mt Dew to drown a rhino (not for currency), and definitely a towel.

5. Past or Future? What era? Why?
I think future because there would be more acceptance of Little Man’s biracialness (biracialosity? biracialicality?) due to more interracial unions.

6. Please do your best to explain the scientific reasons why children are like black holes in terms of time?
There is no acceptable scientific reason. It all boils down to perception and basic need. It seems that they need all the time, and they need a whole bunch. I once heard it explained thusly, children can take as much as you can give them and always want more. It is up to the parent to determine what the child really needs and then set boundaries. That my friend, is what parenting is all about… and if you believe that load of hooey, I have a bridge to sell you.

7. Time seems to zoom by more quickly the older you get. Discuss amongst yourself.
Again, this is a perception issue more than a time issue. Let’s think of it purely as a form of percentages. 1 year to a 5 year old is 20% of their life, while 1 year to a 30 year old is only 3.33%. 3.33% happens much faster than 20% even though it is the same amount of “time.” This can be said for all increments.

8. Time zooms by doubly fast once you have children (except for the long nights when your child is ill, of course). It makes me quite sad because you want to freeze and cherish every moment. You're a proud papa, your thoughts?
Time flashes by because it is pretty much an overload of sensory input. You cannot soak up every detail. I have started trying to focus on some small details as a kind of mnemonic device. If I can recall Little Man’s hand holding my finger, I can bring up a bunch of the other input from the time.

Also, for the record, I am not a proud man. Pride cometh before the fall, and all that crap. In truth, Wifey beat the proud out of me years and years ago.

9. Is Time really on your side?
Nope, Time got picked first, and I got picked last. What the team captains did not know is that I am better at kick-ball than Time.

10. Favorite song with the word "time" in the title or lyrics? Double bonus points if it's an 80s song.
Anthrax’s “Time,” better than the Joe Jackson original, but I really dig covers.

11. Dorothy Parker said that the definition of eternity is "two people and a ham." Would you agree or disagree?
I would disagree.

12. A lot of Science Fiction/Fantasy plots involve travel into other dimensions or realities, however when the hero returns, no time has passed in the "true" reality. Why is that? If you were a 32 year old king in Narnia, wouldn't waking up tomorrow in your 12 year old life be a royal drag?
Honestly, with how much I hated High School, I would absolutely abhor going back in time to when I was 12. Add onto that that I had been royalty for about 20 years and the pain would only be that much greater.

13. Is it possible to make time your friend if you consistently try to beat it every morning on the way to work?
I try to flow with time, not beat it into submission. Even though time is not on my side (Question 9) we are still friends.

14. In Greek mythology, Chronus, or Time, eats his children so they won't grow up to usurp him. Later Zeus, the sky-god sets his siblings free and replaces them with rocks in their father's guts. Which kill him, of course. What are the Greeks trying to say with that bizarre and grisly tale?
The Greeks had some really whacked out views about parenting. It seems that they thought all children were going to try and kill their parents and the best way of combating this is to devour the children when they are mere babes or exposing them to the elements. In many instances it did not work out all that well.

15. Really, what the hell is that about?
Greeks like eating babies.

16. Why does everything make me sleepy today? I'm afraid I'm not too good at this. Feel free to use or not use any/all of the above. My brain is searching for a nap.
Napping is a wonderful thing, time makes one sleepy. I know I am in the midst of time right now, and in the need of a nap.

17. “What’s the time? It’s time to get ill.” Huh? What were the Beastie Boys saying with this?
I believe they were alluding to the fact that their beats were fresh dope, yo!

18. What is your best time of day? Worst?
I am at my best creatively and cognitively between the hours of 10 pm and 1 am. That is when I am “on game,” so to speak. I am not really in the game early mornings.

19. If you were in one of those sensory deprivation rooms, how would you try to keep track of time?
I wouldn’t. I would be asleep, and during the conscious periods of time I would have the Police’s De Do Do Do De Da Da Da Da running through my head on loop.

20. What’s the longest time you have ever spent playing a computer game – straight through, without breaks?
Ah, Sid Meier’s Civilization II, I remember you well. Okay, I am not considering bathroom breaks and/or grabbing food breaks (chipping in so a friend’s brother would pick up some pizza) as they are less than five minutes in duration. 17.5 hours…. I quit early


To recap:
Next week’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about perception
Funny thing about time, I spent too much on this post
Formatting these 20 Questions Tuesday posts is a time consuming process
Little Man and I are going for a walk this evening
Whether he wants to or not
That is just how it is going to be
I will drag his little butt around the block if I have to
It is 74 º F today
That is 23-24 ºC for you metric folks
296.4833 K for the physicists out there
I think the temp change led to the migraine yesterday
Stupid migraine
Not sure what we will have for dinner, but we might walk to get it

unexpected

I am going to buck traditional thought and not post about my long weekend trip. I am not going to regale you with anecdotes about bad drivers and overly spicy pizza sauce. I will not blather on incessantly about seeing old friends and the laughter that follows these kinds of re-unions. I will not bore you with tales of angst at being away from Little Man nor with how re-asserting limits on the tyke is a chore in and of itself when Wifey and I returned. Mostly, I will not give you a play by play of how the weekend went. You would all find that as boring as I would whence writing it. That is just how vacations go. They do not translate well into prose for others who didn’t partake of the vacation. So, since most of you were not part of my long weekend, I shall not bore you with details of said weekend.

Instead, I shall bore you with my typical 25 step process for writing a post.

1. I open up my word processing software of necessity
2. I stare at the blank document for a minute
3. Shut down the word processing software because I cannot think of a damn thing to write
4. Call Wifey and see if she has some topics at hand that she can give me
5. Re-open the word processing software
6. Stare at the blank page some more
7. Start writing a post
8. Erase what I wrote
9. Start again
10. Erase again (lather, rinse, repeat…)
11. Figure out some of the recap
12. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead
13. Look over the drivel I just wrote
14. Spell check within the word processing program
15. Be appalled that “blog,” “blogging,” “blogger,” “bloggish,” “blogariffic,” “blogetc…” are not in the word processor’s lexicon
16. Be impressed with myself for coming up with the word “lexicon” in my head (every day occurence)
17 Copy and paste everything into Blogger
18. Format text within Blogger
19. If the post requires pics, find the pics
20. Attach said pics (not attaché pics, because that would be silly)
21. Link where links are necessary
22. Preview
23. Stand back and admire the “work”
24. Publish
25. Look at the blog to see the post in situ

Bored yet?

To recap:
Sadly, the building is not a burnt out husk
So, I have to work today.
Fluffy the headache Marten is back in town! Hey, Fluffy! Nice to see you again! Please go away!
Interesting take on Underdog going on over here
Disturbing take on Underdog here
Little Man’s OT evaluation was this morning
We are a little un-happy with the assessment process
Wifey was, in her words, “Unimpressed”
I am sure many if you (probably 2 of you) are curious about the weekend
Well, it was a really great time
It was odd though, since 4 of the 8 people were unawares of the whole blog
And the 4 who knew about it, didn’t really want to clue the other half in
OOooooooh secrets
Without any childrens around and my lack of sleep, there was a panoply of cursing
“A panoply,” I say, “A PANOPLY!”
I forgot how much I relied on the vile language whilst I was in college
I forgot how much of an artiste I was with the vulgar colloquial aspects of linguistics
I was a master, my brush was a suite of interchangeable base words, and my pièce de résistance was the shocked looks of others
Tomorrow is 20 Questions Tuesday: 33 – Time (part 2)
Quotes from the weekend:
You are all my friends and all, but you are all basically peons
I don’t want to hear your goddamned life story, just order your damn food

Light it up!

I am at work, and did not get to say goodbye or spend time with Little Man this morning like I had planned prior to leaving for a couple of days. I am this close --> <--*to cleansing this place with the purity of fire.


*fyi: that is only 2 characters, so I am really close

To recap:
I will hopefully be leaving for a long weekend with friends in 1.5 hours
I will hopefully not have burned down the office and made this trip an extended stay on the run from the law
I am not good when I am on the lam
Have a great weekend everyone

...old school

Okay, I am beyond my edge of stuff I can deal with in a sane and rational manner.

Lemme lay it out for you… old school*.

--without further ado and in no particular order:

1. Wifey has been ailing since December due to her 32% effective gall bladder
2. Little Man has been sick for 4 weeks
3. The constant war of attrition with Little Man’s asthma
4. One unexpected result from Wifey’s gall bladder exams is the detection of an unidentified mass on her liver**
5. Little Man is still allergic to a bunch of food, and now Kenticky Fried Chicken’s popcorn chicken (which he loves) is made with a milk product
6. Heroes is over until late April
7. Little Man is on an antibiotic that is causing him some diarrhea
8. Our childcare providers are aging and both suffering from auto-immune issues
9. My best friend since Jr High (I though he was weird in middle school… turns out I was right) is currently deployed in a combat zone that is escalating
10. If you didn’t know, diarrhea is not conducive to potty training
11. Did I mention that Wifey has an unidentified “mass” on her liver**?
12. Little Man has been recommended for an Occupational Therapy evaluation
13. I mentioned the unidentified mass on Wifey’s liver**, right?
14. This list has caused me tons of sleep loss
15. Occupational Therapy doesn’t have anything to do with mapping Little Man’s future career path
16. There is a FRIKKIN’ UNIDENTIFIED MASS ON WIFEY’S LIVER**
17. The liver is so important to staying alive, that “live” is contained in its organ name
18. If it was an unidentified mass in her unused-er or uselesser, I would not be nearly so agitated right now
19. There might be some animosity between Little Man and another little boy from his pre-school
20. Little Man, seems to be getting the better of the other kid
21. Good golly goshness! there is an UNIDENTIFIED MASS ON WIFEY’S LIVER**
22. Oh, I already mentioned that, didn’t I?
23. I cannot find a moderately priced place to eat with palatable soup
24. I don’t have enough pants in my wardrobe
25. I am starting to get a bit ill myself
26. and last but not least, WIFEY HAS SOME KIND OF UNIDENTIFIED MASS ON HER LIVER**

Good Lord! Am I tired****


To recap:
I guess there is lots of stuff going on in my life right now
Tomorrow Wifey and I will be traveling to DC to visit some college friends
We have to pack tonight
It isn’t that bad, it is not like I will be sleeping anyway
THERE IS AN UNIDENTIFIED MASS ON WIFEY’S LIVER
*In this instance “old school” is referring to a bulleted*** list.
**Surgeons and doctors have assured us that it is their estimation 99.9% benign and un-identified*****
***in this instance “bulleted” is defined as a “Arabic numerals”
**** not like a bicycle or a car, as in "wheeled" more in the direction of “weary”
***** and 0.1% pissed at being found

20 Questions Tuesday: 32 - Time

It looks like there are enough questions about time to carry this topic over for another week. Time is a fickle beast that is very much connected to our perception of it. Many feel that it is the fourth dimension, some think there is a physical essence to it, most people just think there is not enough of it. Thanks this week go to the Info Diva, ACW, Lsig, J.A.Coppinger, and Dr Civil.

On to the questions:
1. Daylight Savings Time is this weekend. Will computers will ready for the change or will the time display be wrong?
Computers have dealt with DST for quite a while now, so I do not foresee it being a problem. You might need to restart the machine to have the clock reset though. The same is true for cell phones. If your phones or PC’s do not update with DST (if this is instituted in your area or the world) restart them and let the clocks re-initialize.

2. Time heals all wounds. Your thoughts.
Sure, why not? In all “seriousness” though, given an adequate amount of time most wounds will heal to a certain point. Sometimes damage is bad enough that even in a “healed” state it is not like it was prior to the injury.

3. Time-outs. Does this parenting technique really work?
This method can work for some kids, just not all. Much like everything else associated with the rearin’ of younguns, what is best for some is worst for others.

4. Do you hold any credence to the theory that time will end on 12/21/2012?
Not even a little bit. Our time and dating system is pretty arbitrary. Sure that is supposedly when the Mayan calendar stops, but how many digits of PI are there? I assume they were going to update the calendar later but just never got around to it. Granted there is the whole crossing the galactic equator, blah, blah, blah, Earth’s moon at it’s closest perigee, blah, blah, blah, celestial doom, blah, blah, blah, but really I think it is merely about waiting till later to fill out the rest of the calendar. I know I haven’t filled out my Outlook calendar for more than 3 weeks ahead (if that), but I don’t expect others to think that the world will end on 27 March 2007 because of that.

5. Will Morris Day and the Time cease to exist?
Never

6. The villain in Star Trek Generations said, "Time is the fire in which we burn." Agree or disagree?
I tend to agree. If cellular decay and radioactive decay can be determined using increments of time and considered to be fire, then sure, why not? Really, it is difficult not to agree with Malcom McDowell.

7. Which would you prefer- unlimited free time or unlimited funds?
Unlimited funds can create unlimited free time.

8. They've changed Daylight Savings Time- do you care?
I would rather DST not exist. It is a throw-back to the US’s agrarian roots that is unnecessary in today’s economy. Farmers will get up when they need to get up regardless of what the clock says.

9. Is not giving someone the time of day really that awful?
Someone should have their own means of telling the time, a chronological time clock, if you will. That being said, it is not a remarkable inconvenience for me to tell someone what time it is, ‘cause it is always Hammertime for SRH!

10. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” (Douglas Adams) Your thoughts?
True enough. “Time” is elusive, so that would make it seem illusionary, and eating an illusion is silly, so Adams is right on the mark here.

11. “Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely” (Rodin) What was the most wisely used moment of your life?
My proposal to Wifey . Why is that blind sculptor blathering on about time anyway?

12. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” (Wil Rogers) What one deadline in your regular life truly ticks you off?
Work stuff. It is not going to be the end of the world if the graphics for this report are 1 day late for the culmination of a 7+ year study.

13. “Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.” (Max Frisch) If you could redo one hour of your life over, when would it be?
Little Man’s birth. In truth, I wouldn’t change much of Little Man's delivery. There is some information I would impart to Wifey about this particular delivery process that could have made it smoother and less injurious, but I really would not change much in that hour. I would redo that particular hour to more studiously remember every detail I could.

14. “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If you had no time constraints at all, what would you do on your “perfect” day?
Play with Little Man and Wifey, get a bit of World of Warcraft time in, draw some, and watch a good soccer game.

15. Can you really "save time in a bottle?" If so, what kind of bottle would it need to be?
Yes, but it needs to be a Klein Bottle. As soon as you can manufacture one of those babies, you are set to bottle time.

16. Why does it take longer to drive back from someplace than to it?
That is not so much a time issue as much as a perception issue. Those questions will be for later. Also, it depends on the destinations. If you are going predominantly downhill on the way to the destination, the return trip will possibly take longer.

17. What would be the coolest way to create a rip in the "space/time continuum?"
Hmmmm… using a Sponge Bob Squarepants Toddler cup. The Space/Time continuum never saw it coming.

18. Ecclesiastes said

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

WTF was he really saying? Did you think it was just a song?
Oooh, biblical from Dr Civil. Will wonders ever cease? I think what the author was trying to get at was that time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future, I want to fly like an eagleto the sea. Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle ‘till I'm free. Oh, Lord, through the revolution feed the babies, w o don't have enough to eat, shoe the children with no shoes on their feet, house the people livin' in the street. Oh, oh, there's a solution.

Where was I? Oh yes, answering questions. Dit dah dit, doo doo doo doo

19. Do you think that Mark Twain was right when he refuted the age old saying that "Time and tide wait for no man" by saying "A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide."
Personally, I know I don’t wait for time or tide, time and tide wait for me… ‘cause I am slow. Langhorn might have been onto something with his electric wires and water-ballast except for the fact that electric wires and ballast really only have a localized effect.

20. Do you believe that "Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock" or is it all just a bunch of damn Hallmark card drivel?
Hallmark drivel at its finest. Lovers’ moments don’t last for eternity, conversations about taking out the trash, or leaving the toilet seat up take eternity, or making your wife talk to your parents. Sweet, Jebus, you pray for the tick of a clock during those eternities. At least then you know that time has not come to a complete standstill. Ummm… I mean, love ya honey.

To recap:
I got 12 questions waiting in the wings, and that is without the physics Phd speaking up
I will have 20 questions by next week
As GOD as my witness, I will have 20 questions by next Tuesday!
I am hungry
And I am tired
Both at the same time
I know, that is an odd combination for me
Usually I am tired AND hungry, not vice versa
Glad I clarified that
I like clarified butter on crab legs
Mmmmmm crab
I am really hungry

Déjà Vu

So I get up from my desk to go to the bathroom, because, well, that is the good kind of co-worker I am. I stopped peeing in the corner of my cube years ago. I now deposit my solids and liquids into appropriate waste receptacles. That’s just how I roll. Sure it took some time to learn these vagaries of human social-societal interaction, but I got the “don’t poop in my corner” memo loud and clear last time. No need to send that one out again… to HR and/or my boss. I learned my lesson, okay? Anyway… as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by… um… myself, on my way to the bathroom (the WC for my UK readers!), I had one of those déjà vu thingies. Yep, I had a déjà vu on my way to the pisser. Lucky me. On the fortunate side, the déjà vu ended once I had passed by 2 co-workers ummm... co-working at a table and did not continue once I made it into the smelly, stinky, odiferous restroom.

Here is the problem with my déjà vus. They never give me useful information. They tend to gravitate toward the mundane. This one was a trip to the pisser. In one I ate some broccoli. I had another déjà vu where I changed lanes on the Interstate. Wooooooo, thanks for the useless information there. The only superpower I have, and it lets me know useless crap. Look, its Vague Mundane Future Man! You, citizen! Are going to eat a sandwich with pickles! And, you, law enforcement officer, are going to step over a puddle.... Lovely power. I soooo would not wear spandex for that. All uselessness aside, I am starting to recognize the déjà vus quicker and actually recall what is going to happen before it actually happens. In these instance when I recognize it as it is happening, I also recognize that there is not a point to trying to alter the potential future.

For example, today’s déjà vu was me walking somewhere and I would pass someone sitting at a desk and then 2 people standing at a table discussing something on my way to somewhere else. I think I had the original “vision” around 10 years ago (meaning I did not know the people in the déjà vu were co-workers). I recognized the déjà vu as I passed the co-worker at his desk and prior to passing the 2 co-workers at the table discussing traffic volumes or some other boring crap. I could have stopped and gone back to my desk, but that would not have necessarily altered any potential future I already had… (that was an odd sentence to write.) Anyway, I would still have had to go to the restroom, so I would have eventually gotten there.

I think I would pay closer attention to changing the outcome of these déjà vus if they revolved around some more important matters. By “more important matters” I don’t necessarily mean world events of life altering events either. In the example above, if I knew the déjà vu ended with me peeing on my shoe, I would have gone back to my desk. Who wants to pee on one’s own shoe?

To recap:
I think I have seen this before
I really should be drunk to write about this in a public forum
If I were drunk I would have gotten all non-linear on your collective asses
Orthoganality doesn’t have to propogate in one vector, baby!
Just be glad I was not drunk
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
We will be discussing Time
Not sure what aspect of time we* shall be discussing
Only time will tell
Get it?
“Only time will tell”?
Cause we’re* talking about time, but we* haven’t narrowed down the multiple aspects of time
At least I am funny in my head
Could be about TIME the magazine
I doubt it, but it could be
*Royal “We”

pitiful... just pitiful

I woke up this morning to a flash of lightning and a peel of thunder. Is it s “peel” of thunder? Hang on a sec… Nope it is “peal.” My bad… Anyway, it seems that spring is attempting to make a play here in Ohio. Sure we still have some mounds of ice from the last winter storm, but it is gray and rainy again, the hallmark of a central Ohio spring. Oddly, it is also the hallmark of a central Ohio fall. Go figure. It is surprising that central Ohio is not known for being more marshy. On a side note, Word wants me to replace “more marshy” with “marshier, “ but you know what? Word ain’t the boss of me! Word! YoYo. I am street like that. No really.

Anyway… I got nothing. One would think that I could muddle through 4 topics a week. Sweet Jebus! I actually only need to come up with three cogent topics since I instituted 20 Questions Tuesdays 31 weeks ago. Is my life that boring? I can only come up with 3 topics. Oh, Good Lord! Yesterday’s topic was just about Little Man ailing. So in actuality, I am only able to come up with 2 topics a week. Heck, this post was just going to be a stream of consciousness post, but I couldn't even do that. Sheesh, that is just pitiful.

To recap:
This is the fourth post I have started today
Sadly, it is the best one
That is why I kept it
I hope DC United and the Houston Dynamo win tonight
That would be great for MLS
Have a great weekend everyone
Maybe next week I will have some topics
Anyone think of any topics?
Anyone…

Ailing Wednesday

I am at home with the sick Little Man today. Nothing is majorly wrong this time. This one seems like it is a pretty typical illness. Other than being really head congested and mildly fevered (really mild), Little Man seems to be his normal rambunctious self. He is making messes and running around. Of course, instead of it being a continuous blur of motion this seems to be more in fits and starts. He runs around for a few minutes and then has to take a break… you know, like a normal human.

I just wish I had more PTO (Paid Time Off for those of you with less acronymy bnefits packages) in my bank so that taking a day with him didn’t cut my PTO by 10%. That is an expensive day off. I had been working for a day off this week, but it was supposed to be Friday. Now my PTO bank is all shot to Hell. Oh well. Thems the break when you have a little one in the house. Wifey will be taking the day off tomorrow if the little one is still ailing, while I go in and get caught up with work as best I can.

Not much else to talk about really. In fact, if I don’t get off the computer soon, Little Man is going to force me into watching trains on YouTube whether he is having a breathy or not.

Cheers!

To recap:
Man I need some caffeine
We don’t have any in the house
If Little Man is up to it, we might get some furnace filters today
And some sort of caffeinated soft drink
So far this has not triggered any asthma stuff
But it is only a matter of time
How’s that for a happy outlook on life
Actually, we are surprised that it has not progressed as of yet
Turns out Little Man likes a vegan lasagna
We doctored up the vegan lasagna with some pork sausage
He can have anything vegan, we typically add meat though
Because, at our core, Casa De SRH is a house of carnivores
Great, now I’m hungry
Why am I still typing?
Oh, yeah, so I don’t have to play trains with a sick, cranky, willful kid

20 Questions Tuesday: 31 - 80's Music

Ah, sweet memories. Yesterday’s post made me think that I should do a 20 Questions revolving around 80’s music. I love me some 80’s music, but who doesn’t like 80’s music. Anyway… Thanks this week to Lsig, JW, ACW, Lord Pithy, and Wifey for questions today.

On to the questions!

1 Two bands enter, one band leaves...who've you got in a Bangles vs. The Go-Gos cage match?
Go-Gos all the way. The Bangles were never a punk band. ‘Nuff said…. Although, I am pretty sure that Joan Jett could have taken out all 9 of them single handedly (and by that I mean with one hand tied behind her back). She is some ass bad stuff!

2 Was Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" album really as good as I remember it being?
No, no it was not. I never understood the mass appeal of this album or of the band. They were okay, but never that good.

3 Does anyone rival Lionel Richie as the preeminent baladeer of the 80s?
I don’t think so, but Mr. Richie is not someone that I am abundantly knowledgeable about so I will turn this question over to Wifey for final answer. Wifey?

That’s an interesting question. I will firstly admit my bias in that I am a huge Lionel Richie fan; therefore, my stance is that no one ever, in the history of the world is as good at balladeering as Mr. Richie.

That being said, Kenny Rogers did give him a run for his money. If you’ll recall , Lionel wrote Kenny’s big hit, “Lady” and they went on to collaborate a bit.

So in fact, Lionel was responsible for Kenny’s success as a soft sounds crooner, thereby remaining the penultimate love song maverick of the decade.

Thank you, Wifey.

4 The 80s was the era of Michael Jackson as an actual pop musician. What the heck happened?
The whole of the Jackson family is damaged goods. Many people forget that Latoya is also part of the fam. Who knew that MJ was destined to go nuts? I certainly didn’t.

5 So, Madonna. What accounts for her transformation from 80s pop-tart to enduring musical icon? Why her and not...a dozen other chicks from back then?
Madonna, above all else, is a brilliant business person/marketer. She was able to capitalize on trends and re-invent herself in the most opportune moments. She was able to take the slightly passé trends of the avant guard and turn them into pop culture trends for the masses (Like Vogue). Other female musicians of the era, were not as savvy as Madonna and relied almost solely on their musical talents. Many of them still have quite a following and many of them are still producing very high quality music, but none of them became as iconic.

6 Did video REALLY kill the radio star?
Sadly, yes, the Buggles were on to something. Radio was always the medium for talent. It did not matter what that talent looked like. Even today, many a DJ is not a pretty face. Videos almost required the talent to look good too. There are boat lodes of not pretty talented people out there who just aren’t pretty. They will be relegated to the land of “studio singers.”

7 Who's hotter? the go-go's Belinda Carlisle, or the Bangles' Susanna Hoffs?
I am a Belinda fan although Hoffs ain’t no slouch.

8 Who was your favorite "Big Hair Metal" band? (Not that it makes any difference, cuz RATT was the GREATEST!!!)
I could go Round and Round about this all day with many different people. I am going to go with Anthrax.

9 How on earth did Menudo warrant their television program's airing here in the states?
I don’t know. I could see their show making it here today because there is more recognition amongst the TV scheduling people that there is more than a white demographic, but in the 80’s , I just don’t get it.

10 Where is Thomas Dolby?
Looking at his site? I would say California.

11 Why are the 80's the decade of the greatest music known to man?
This is a question that I often ask myself when I can’t sleep. What people think of when they think of 80’s music is the fun associated with that music. People also only remember the good music from the 80’s as well. There was some crap made in the 80’s, but nostalgia stations don’t play that crap.

12 What happened to Tawny Kitaen? She had sooo much promise (especially as the Future Mrs ACW)?
She’s in rehab…

13 Besides Men at Work - what other group are you embarrassed to have enjoyed? Loverboy? Duran Duran? Wham!? Missing Persons? Bow Wow Wow? Dio? Judas Priest? Cyndi Lauper? Christopher Cross? Flock of Seagulls? Human League? Cars? J. Geils Band? White Snake? White Lion? Great White? OMD? The Smiths? Husker Du?...
I think I have to go with Billy Idol. I love me some Vital Idol!

14 Do you have fond memories of going to the corner music store, browsing the rows upon rows of album, looking for the special import (you know the one with the colored vinyl)? Ah, Heaven...
I remember going to Turtles Records and Tapes with my brother while my mom did some at the Woolco and leafing through the 45’s. The first 45 he bought with his own money was Queen’s Another one Bites the Dust. We listened to that song over and over and over again. Good times indeed.

15 Describe the setting (where you were, who you were with, how many law enforcement officers were curently looking for you), the first time you heard "It's Raining Men."
I was sitting in a car with my brother, my uncle and 2 dozen puppies. We had just killed a snoring security guard so the puppies could have something to eat. It was a seven state manhunt involving the FBI, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, and Connecticut.

16 Tiiiiiiiiiiiiin roof?
Rusted

17 Aside from Swing, has there ever been a decade of happier music than the 80s?
I really don’t think so.

18 Describe your ideal 80s cover. (For instance, Anna Nicole singing "Take On Me.")
Hmmmm… I would love to hear the Cure’s Killing an Arab done by the newly re-united Rage Against the Machine. It is a political enough song that it could be in the realm of possibility. The absolutely ludicrous cover would be RATM covering the B-52’s Rock Lobster. Can you imagine Zach de la Rocha belting out:

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Oh that is the stuff dreams are made of.

19 Who was hotter and wore trash better: Pat Benatar in "We Are Young" or Cyndi Lauper in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"?
Benatar wore it better, because that was not her “typical” look.

20. Did anyone every actually “park on the dance floor” or was Midnight Star simply making a pre-emptive public service announcement?
I believe, as this picture illustrates, someone, indeed, did park on the dance floor. Oddly enough, if my eyes do not decieve me, it was Midnight Star.


To recap:
I am jonesing for some 80’s music now
What’s you favorite color, baby?
Living Colour!
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know what the city is getting
The crème de la crème of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner
Anything U2
Actually, RATM covering some U2 would be nice as well
I have Johnny Cash’s version of U2’s One, that is a pretty good cover too
Johnny Cash would not be good at a Cover 2 though
That’s a zone defense for American football, and well, Johnny Cash is dead

Go away, and don't come 'round here no more

It was a lark, I tell you, a lark. I never thought that it would end up how it did. It was good clean fun, just plain silliness really. I remember it as if it were yesterday… Okay, it was really only 2 weeks ago, but, wow, what a two weeks.

I had just picked up Little Man from G-ma D and G-pa R. He was getting settled into his car seat and getting ready for the journey home. Part of this ritual (other than me strapping into his five point harness of doom) is for Little Man to choose his music for the trip home. Well, this specific afternoon/early evening he chose the Bear in the Big Blue House CD. Not my favorite choice, but definitely not the worse thing he has made me endure. Anyway, to put Bear in, I had to take out the CD I had guiltily been listening to.

What that?
Oh, this is just the CD I was listening to when I was on my way here.
First Bear, then that.
Let me get this straight, since your use of articles, pronouns, adjectives, and adverbs is somewhat suspect. You want to listen to this CD after the theme song from Bear is over.
Uh-huh
Okay…

So, oddly enough, the theme song ends with the line, “So let’s begin.” The irony is not lost on me. No siree, it is not lost on me at all. Anyway… after Bear shuts his proverbial “yap” Little Man pipes up asking for “other CD.” Here we go, the mistake has been made, I slowly put the CD in and traveling as I know it changed forever at that point.

A little backstory: This “other” CD is the greatest hits from a band whose cassette was the first I ever purchased with my own money. This cassette was the cassette I wore out while reading countless comic books. This band is the band I listened to when I was reading my first real books. This band helped me through many a slow chapter of required novels with thick language and slower pacing for my English classes in middle school, junior high, and high school. There is a huge nostalgia reason for me to listen to this CD. Okay, back to the story.

The first drum beats and first notes from the saxophone hit and Little Man get a light in his eye that I have never seen before. The chorus plays, because most of the song is the chorus and he is repeating the lyrics as best he can. He is enthralled. He is absolutely loving this song. It is like coming home for him. He is wrapping himself in this song like it is a warm blanket. The song ends with plaintive lyrical hook that appears though out the song , and all I hear from Little Man is “Again! Again!”

Now whenever he gets in my car, and sometime before we get to my car he is asking for Who Can It Be Now by Men at Work. He is not soo keen on Down Under or It’s a Mistake and rarely listens to Be Good Johnny, but he goes nuts for Who Can it be Now.

To recap:
We painted the bed room this weekend
Now we need to move furniture back in
Next month I am trying out Diesel and Dust or Blue Sky Mining with Little Man
I would love to hear him singing Dreamworld
Then I will buy him a skinny tie and some parachute pants
Not sure what the 20 Questions topic will be for tomorrow yet, I will figure on out though
Before tomorrow
Probably immediately after I post this, um… post
I am real good with words

Dentistry

So, I went to the dentist today. It was time for my 6 month check-up. The appointments only come around twice a year, so I really don’t feel like I can be a “no-show.” I am not sure where my over-inflated sense of responsibility regarding dental professionals’ time arises from, but, clearly, it seems that I have some issues there. Not so with cable guys. I would make them wait for me if it weren’t in their power to leave and say I wasn’t there.

Anyway… I had my semi-annual dental appraisal and cleaning today. Turns out my teeth would be worth more if they were either whiter or were petrified sharks teeth. Anyway… the hygienist (her name I think was “Peppy”) mentioned that I had Tartar on 1or 2 of my teeth, and proceeded to tell me about her vacation last week whilst scraping and poking around in my mouth. It was really pleasant. I was not aware that Peppy’s mother did not like pancakes prior to this trip to the dentist, but as it turns out… Anyway… everything was going along swimmingly. Peppy was done with my cleaning and went to get the sign off by the Dentist.

Get this, my dentist wants me to floss more. What is up with that?!?! I almost politely explained that since I have a dental hygienist clean my teeth every 6 months, I felt that flossing was one of the time consuming things that might be able to be dropped while Little Man’s breathing was for shit. I nearly continued to explain that giving breathing treatments every 4 hours to a 3.6 year old doesn’t really leave that much quality time for me and my teeth. Then I would have continued by mentioning to her that while I was not able to do as much flossing as she would have liked (I think the acceptable amount of flossing for dentists is 2 hours a day of careful and methodical flossing with gilded silk ribbons), I was still able to keep cavities from forming and even not have any gingivitis going on. But before I could launch into my tirade against her dental advice, I remembered that she had tooth drills, and prudently decided to keep my mouth shut.

To recap:
I can’t believe it is only Thursday
It feels like Baldenday to me
You know the day after Emdleday
The 11 th day of the week
You know…
Man, it seems like this has been looooooong week
And it is only Thursday
I could floss every hour on the hour and my dentist would recommend that I floss more
Isn't it their job to clean my teeth anyway?
Road crews don't ask me to fill in potholes for them
I should have eaten a doughnut right before getting my teeth cleaned out if spite
Instead I ate a doughnut right before getting my teeth cleaned out of hunger
I think they should be glad it was not a broccoli filled doughnut
I think I should be happy it was not a broccoli filled doughnut
Instead of being “eaten” it would still be a neglected doughnut on a table that no one would eat
Like a Boston Cream doughnut
Those are horrible
Vanilla Cream FTW! Baby!
I could go on for days about doughnuts
‘Cause I love me some doughnuts
But I won’t
Have a great weekend everyone

Lessons

Today while going from the car to G-ma D's and G-pa R's Little Man learned himself a lesson. As I was getting him out of the car and putting his Little Man feet on the ground, I remarked, "Be careful, Little Man, it is slippery."

To which he responded with infinite incredulity, "It not slippery."

I retorted thusly, "Yes, it is you need to be careful, so hold my hand."

Again , I was met with belligerent skepticism laced with thinly veiled contempt, "No, it not slippery."

I riposted with an invitation for an experiment. "Little Man, why don't you just hold my hand and take 2 steps forward." For I had noticed the bane of many a driver's existence and many a walker's sore bum. I had espied a patch of the dreaded black ice on the parking lot.

Intrigued, Little Man tentatively took my hand and took 2 confident steps forward. Soon my holding his hand was the only reason he was still upright. The look I got was very memorable. It was a look of comprehension beyond mere understanding. It was a look of someone who has just had their world turned on end. It was a look that spoke volumes and yet the look really only said something simple. He then said more out of awe than respect, "It IS slippery."

He grasped my hand firmly and together we walked into G-ma D's and G-pa R's house cautiously.

To Recap:
At least for a period of, at most, 5 minutes some of the rules Little Man once thought arbitrary seemed reasonable
Deadline for some work shifted
I have tons to do and no time to do it
It is going to be a long night
I am sure by the time I was back in my car heading to work, Little Man forgot that I had been right about something... for once
Deadline is 9:30 am tomorrow and I have a good bit of work left
Cheers!