Beginnings

There is no better way to start a week than sleep deprived and irritable. I am sure of it. I am sooo sure of it, that I have been doing it for the past 7 years. That is commitment to a philosophy, baby! I mean, really, if it weren’t working, do you think I would still be doing it? That would be just plain silly. I mean why would I continue to do the same thing over and over again if I thought it would bring about a different outcome than the best way to start a work week? That would just make no sense whatsoever, and I am all about the sense making. No really.

I have found that to be in the correct frame of mind for a 40 hour a week computer based job, it is best if I am slightly grumpy and easily caused to yawn. This edge to my voice and quickness to indicate boredom has endeared me to many a co-worker and superior. Many a work assignment has been not asked for because of a steely Clint-Eastwood-esque glint in my eye. You know the look that Clint gives when he is about to shoot someone with a big old handgun? Yeah, that look. Well, my look is vaguely similar. To be fair, it is not a steely nor a really imposing look. Basically my looks comes off as whiney and complainish. In essence exchange the threat of violence at the hands of Dirty Harry, to a hint of guff that one might endure at the hands of SRH, and I think you might be on the correct track for the sleep deprived grumpiness I exude. Oh, guff has been given in the past, and no one wants this guff… no one!

I have also gotten out of many a work assignment by haphazardly employing the use of a well-timed inadvertent yawn. Nothing says to a coworker that their story is boring the paint off the walls like an uncontrollable yawn. This yawning often indicates to the person I am talking with that their conversation needs some help in the delivery.

It also helps to be recently un-showered and needing a good shave. I should know, I have been doing a companywide longitudinal study on the affects of slightly bad hygiene and level of work/life endearment. I am going into my 5th year of the study and the statistics might surprise you. They didn’t surprise me though, mainly because I am the one cooking the data, but that is a story for another day.

My co-workers, they love me, and I won’t hear otherwise.

To recap:
English Premiere League started up this weekend
Now we can see some top flight soccer early in the day and cap it off with some top mid level stuff with MLS in the evenings
It is a good mix of the 2
Fulham FC really need to play stronger than last year
One of the comic book artists I have been following passed away this weekend
I am simply stunned (the above link is getting pegged pretty hard, try this one)
And here I was thinking that people dying didn’t affect me much anymore
Does this make me have, how do you hoo-mons call it, feelings again?
Mike Wieringo is one of the reasons that I decided to start doing artistic stuff again
Rest in Peace, Mike

V: 22 of 26

Since there are only 5 letters left I have decided to take them in a less than random order. By random chance, honestly random chance, H and Y have stayed out of the mix. They shall be the last letters. So sayeth the author, so it shall be written, so it shall be done. Of the remaining letters, H, S, Y, and Z, the only one I do not have a word for so far is Z. Any ideas?

So for today the letter in question is the 22nd letter of the English alphabet, the letter “V.” There is a TV miniseries from the 80’s associated with the letter. There is a 1980’s comic book series with V very prominent in the title which was later made in to a movie in 2005. It has been a symbol of victory. It has been a symbol for peace. It is a very versatile letter to say the least. V is one of those letters that harkens back to the proto-alphabets of the pre-Roman eras. I think it started out as a bulls head or something like that. Anyway, the V is a letter that is near and dear to my heart. “Why?” You ask. Well you have to keep reading to get that answer.

V: Big V, Little v, Vera Violet Vinn is very very very awful on her violin.

Oh, where to start. V was an easy letter for which to come up with a word. I have waxed eloquent on the topic before, and I am sure that I will again. Some might find this word to be bland and boring, but it is not for me. No, not for me… In the lexicon of SRH, V stands for, and will always stand for, Vanilla.

The issue with using vanilla as my V word is not some much how much I love Vanilla, but more to the matter, where to start with my love for Vanilla. Should I talk about the wonders of stepping from plain vanilla to French vanilla and then to vanilla bean? Would it be better to start with how most other sweet flavors recognize their need for vanilla in their preparation? I truly am at a loss for where to start this process.

I will begin at the beginning. Why is vanilla unique? Vanilla is the extracted from the seed pod from a particular orchid. In fact, this seed pod is the only portion of any orchid which (correct me if I’m wrong) is not insanely poisonous and detrimental to humans if consumed. That will make pretty much anything unique. If I were an edible seed pod from the orchid family, I would be rather unique, I must say.

So now I shall go into the myriad of vanillas that I cannot live without.

Edy’s Vanilla Bean Slow Churned ice cream: mmmmmmm one third less fat than their typical ice cream. Really for ice cream, vanilla bean is the way to go. Bryers does it really well, but the double churned stuff from Edy’s is the whip shit. Lots of taste followed by less fat. I can eat 3 times as much and feel only twice as guilty.

Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty: I have written about that all ready, and been quoted by media as well.

Penzy’s Double Strength Pure Vanilla Extract: You know how with most vanillas and with most baking recipes you have to double the amount of vanilla asked for? Not so with this stuff. It is incredible, just plain incredible. One should not bake confections without it.

Penzy’s Vanilla Sugar: This stuff kicks ass. When you are looking for a more subtle flavor palette for toast than cinnamon sugar, this is the way to go.

Cheesecake Factory Vanilla Bean Cheesecake: I really am not going to take the time to explain this one. Much like a joke, if you need to explain it, the person is not worthy of it.

In conclusion: mmmmmmmmmm vanilla

To recap
Orange rice tonight
Methinks Little Man will be happy about that
I am really digging this game over lunches
Because I am both a geek and a Star Wars geek
At the same time
I know it is shocking
Not much else to recap about
Maybe Monday will be a better recap day
Oh, in less than a week both Mimma and my dad have gotten knee surgeries
Small world
Little Man’s knees are doomed
Wifey has had surgery on her knee
I have one bad knee and one worse one
My brother has had 3 knee surgeries as well
Yep, by 2053, I think both of Little Man’s knees will have been replaced
Have a great weekend everyone

M to the D

I have to admit it. I have been hitting the sauce rather frequently these days, and I know I have a problem. I say I can quit at anytime, but I know that is a lie. I can take a break for a limited amount of time, but I am never truly out of its clutches. I know that no matter how long I have been “dry” I will eventually come back to its warm invigorating embrace.

I have been clean for months at a time, but like they say, you can’t allow just one drop. That one drop is like a snare and, I guess, in this analogy it makes me the rabbit? You don’t snare mink, do you? They are trapped instead of snared, right? I guess I would be like the rabbit, even though it would be softer smoother and silkier to be a mink. Yes, I know it would be stinkier, but I wouldn’t have minded, I would be the freaking mink. Well, not “The Freaking Mink,” that would be like me saying I was the Michael Jordan of minks, and no one would believe that, especially since I would have just been snared. The Michael Jordan of minks isn’t going to get snared. That would be just plain degrading. Now, the Cuba Gooding Jr. of minks could possibly get snared. That mink would have won an Oscar and then somehow degraded his box office clout enough to be doing Daddy Daycare 2 or some such crap. Although, now that I think of it, The Michael Jordan of Minks did make the mink version of Space Jam, that has to account for some level of snare-ability. This is so confusing.

Mink

Where was I? Oh yes, It wakes me in the morning, it keeps me going in the afternoon, and if I can’t help myself, it keeps me company when everyone else is sleeping at night. This companion of mine is both a boon and a burden. I love it and hate it. I crave it and want it far away. I don’t need it, yet I am addicted. I would cry for help, but the only one who would answer is what I am addicted to.

Mountain Dew, you are the cruelest of beverage mistresses. Unless one does Red Bull or some other one of those “Energy” drinks. Or coffee. That shit will kill you and stain your teeth. Then there is the whole spectrum of alcohol to think of. Now that you mention it, Mountain Dew ain’t so bad.

To recap:
Tomorrow is another letter out of the alphabet
I have H, S, V, Y, and Z left
I think I will remove the random label and start assigning dates to these letters
Tomorrow will be V
Not the horrid 80’s miniseries though, just the letter

Don't get me wrong, it kicked ass in the 80's, but it is painful to watch today
Any guesses as to the word I choose?
I have it picked out already
Little Man updated again, but I don’t think he took his camera today
It is hot out there today
Well, I have some work to get done

20 Questions Tuesday: 54 - The Future II

Here is the second installment of 20 Questions Tuesday concerning the future. I would say we were going “Back to the Furture,” but that would be hokey.

As I said previously (last week to be exact) I got an overwhelming response for this topic and therefore have had to thin the questions out mercilessly. This week thanks go to the Info Diva, Tree-Monkey, Dustin, Allrileyedup, Capt. McArmypants (Shout out to the troops in the ‘Stan! Holla Holla), Wifey, and JW.

On to the questions:

1. Will libraries cease to exist in the future?
Nope, I think there will always be an intrinsic need for people to physically hold a book and turn a page. Plus Historic records need to be kept somewhere.

2. Global warming = extinct polar bears. Your thoughts.
I think it is a shame, because I have never met a polar bear I didn’t like. Then again, I have never met a polar bear.

3. What movie-based futurist society would you want to live in?
Hmmm… While all the peace and stuff would be a bit boring, I think I would have to go with the Terra from Star Trek. Gotta love amenities.

4. In what year do you think actual stores will be eliminated and everyone buys everything over the internet, including groceries?
Much like I do not think that libraries will be eliminated, I do not think that stores will be gone either. I think stores and retail will start to be more destinations than merely chores though. Grocery stores will eventually need to start competing with more than just pricing.

5. When do you feel that offices will no longer exist and everyone will telecommute? I for one can’t wait until this day.
I think there is an absolute necessity for people to interact in person, so I do not see offices becoming a thing of the past. I do, however, see the work week becoming more fluid with the advent of telecommuting (which I think is a bad thing). By forcing people to come into an office, employers also tend to force themselves to minimize the amount of work done outside of that work week. Take away the barrier of being at the office, and you run the risk of removing the barrier that keeps most people not working when they are not in the office. Telecommuting is a double edged sword to say the least, especially in this results driven society.

6. Do you feel that “snail mail” will ever be eliminated? What will all the post men do?
Someone will need to deliver me the stuff I bought at Amazon.

7. Will the Portland Trail Blazers ever stop being the laughing stock of the NBA?
Only when the league expands with the new franchise the Louisville Laughing Stocks, but why would they choose that name? WHY?!?!?!

8. In the future, will I be able to Google search my dreams?
You already can, you already can.

9. Will Yetis and Hippos ever crossbreed making Yeppos or Hiptis?
If there is a God in heaven I hope the answer is a resounding, “NO!”

10. Do you believe that there are people who can accurately predict the future, like Nostradamus?
Short answer: Yes
Long Answer: I think that time, much like length and width can double back on itself and does not necessarily propogate linearly nor is this perception of propogation the same for each individual observer. Therefore I think that there arte people who are attuned to the moments in the time stream where time loops back on itself. If you read the quatrains that Nostradamus wrote (and I do not recommend that), it really is as if the future he could see was through watching the history channel on someone’s TV in the future. He doesn’t understand what he is seeing, and he is merely recounting the timeline that he saw on a best of History Channel show.

11. Which animal species do you expect will be the next to die out in the near future (say, under ten years)?
The hippo. I haven’t forgotten hippos. I have not forgotten at all.

12. Would you fly into outer space should the option become affordable to the every day layperson in the future?
If it were insanely affordable and as commonplace as air travel is today, sure, why not?

13. So accordind to Timbuk3 we should all be wearing shades by now. Were they viewing an even more distant future or where they Charlatans of the worst kind!
Charlatans, the lot of ‘em! Charlatans of the worst kind!

14. So which will destroy the earth/humanity? a) meteor b) nanotech c) apathy d) Supernova e) Won't be destroyed but humanity will be done in by one of the following way e1) AI type super robots e2) Space faring Neanderthals when they come back for their planet after deciding earth is as good as it gets. e3) Super virus e4) Zerg
Well, as stated in last weeks episode, the sun will eventually take us down, but that is not for many eons, so I suspect that you are more referring to humanity. A combination of B and C, favoring C.

15. Which movie template is closest to the totalitarian regime that will eventually take over the world and then the universe? 1) "Stargate (Movie)" type Totalitarian regime 2) "Star Wars" The Empire 3) The Borg from "Star Trek" 4) Ming the Merciless type monarchy 5) The Totalitarian regime in Serenity 6) Space Balls from Space Balls
6. One would be surprised how often ineptitude rises to the top...

16. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? ........the future's not ours to see.
I will go out on a limb on this one. No and maybe.

17. My question refers to Futurama – what’s up with that show? Why did it never take off? It seems twisted but accessible enough? Please explain.
When Matt Groening made Futurama, the first season was all about character building and set-up. He lost most of the viewership by not locking them in at the beginning. The later seasons are flipping hilarious. I think people forget just how bad the Simpsons were when they started out on The Tracy Ullman Show. The animation was weak and the vignette stories really sucked, but they weren’t a happy go lucky cartoon family and that is why they worked. Furtrama needed 3 unencumbered seasons to try and make it, but by season 3 the viewers had left and FOX started the process of slowly killing it. Seeing how popular the show is on TNT and the Cartoon Network and whatever other cable channels it graces, I think FOX is now ruing the day. Ruing I say!

18. What will we be wearing in the future-say, 20 years from now? (Hopefully the cool silvery metallic shiny stuff they wore in sci-fi "b" movies... Or do you think it would be ok to wear it now?)
Even in the future, I think it will take a brave sole to put on the silvered spandex.

19. What will future archeaologists make of the world we live in today?
That most of humanity were unaware of how much they actually consumed.

20. When in the future will "Captain America" (U.S. Agent is my guess as to who bought it) return to us from the "dead"????
If/when Capt America comes back from the dead, it will be Steve Rogers coming back from the dead and not a revelation that it was US Agent who bought it. But Marvel has some time, they want to see where this story line takes them though. I am surprised that it has taken this long to kill Cap for a second time. When he comes back, bet you he will be much grittier.


To Recap:
When your boss’s boss strikes up a conversation whilst at the urinals, you are pretty much obliged to chit chat
Uncomfortably chit chat
At least she announced her hiatus… I’m looking at you Dustin!
Heat advisory today – heat index of 104°F
That’s 40°C for you metricists out there and 313.15K for you physicists
Wish I’d have known that before I went to exercise last night
It was not pretty
And by not pretty, I mean sweaty, stinky, and red-faced
And by it, I mean me
I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty when I got winded getting dressed to go work out
I was right
Not pretty at all
Little Man loves Men at Work
Unfortunately, he really enjoys their B-sides
REALLY enjoys their B-sides
And their live stuff

Monday Nothing

Nothing is happening here. Nothing at all. There is such a lack of stuff that one could easily say that the merest hint of something is not even possible with these vast vats of nothingness. There is enough nothing going on here to fill up 2 football stadiums with the icky sweet tang of nothinghood. If the amount of nothing I am encountering currently were a land-mass, it would be Asia. Now, my friends, that is a whole lot of nothing. More nothing than you could shake a stick at, that’s for damn sure.

So much nothing that I, honestly, am storing it everywhere because it can’t fit anywhere else. If this nothing were an atmospheric gas, it would equate to nitrogen… or carbon dioxide on Venus. That is a literal shit ton of nada. More like a metric shit ton the more I think about it. Can you even concept the amount of nothing that is? It is a whole lotta nothing that’s definitely true, but add to that nothing a bit of aught and a whole bunch of diddly-squat and you may start to approach the amount of lack my day is currently experiencing.

A VAST CONSPIRACY OF NOTHING I TELL YOU
If I had any more nothing going on here, I would have to assume that people were deliberately keeping something from me.


To Recap:
‘Kssk’ These are not the droids we're looking for.
He can go about his business.
‘Kssk’ You can go about your business.
Move along.
‘Kssk’ Move along. Move along.
I have to exercise tonight
It is not going to go well
I imagine I will be hurting pretty badly soon
By soon I mean by Little Man’s evening bath
Little Man has been slowing down on his picture taking
Tomorrow will be the end of the 20 Questions Tuesday in regards to the “Future”
So at least I will have something to post about tomorrow
Go on about your daily business
There is nothing to see here

Q: 17 of 26

So here we are in the 21st installment of the Random Alphabet of SRH. For the 21st trip into the historical alphabet we come to the much maligned and seldom seen by itself letter Q.

No, not that Q. Hey, Trekkers, Holla Holla!

Q is an odd letter (more odd than just being 17th out of 26) because it is almost a superfluous member of the alphabet. Usually the letter is followed immediately by the letter U. I am not sure as to the reasoning behind this unique letter symbiosis, so all the linguists out there who read this post, please educate me in the comments section. In all fairness, the letter could be replaced by “kw” in most instances without even increasing the letter count for the word.

Anyway, without further ado…

Q: Big Q, Little q, What begins with Q? The quick queen of Quincy and her quacking quackeroo.

Q?!?! I knew this day would come, and I had no idea what word I was going to choose. What did I do to remedy the situation? Did I randomly select a word in the dictionary? Did I look through a thesaurus at words I know describe me for “q” initialed synonyms? No, I called Wifey to see if she thought of any words that started with “Q.” Here is our conversation, and I misquote.

“’Questions’, you Dummyhead. You do 20 Questions Tuesday every week,” she opined
“But that’s tooo obvious,” I whined.
“How, about ‘Quick Witted?’”
“Too boastful,” I carped
“How about ‘Quirky?’” she inquired
“How would I write about that?” I lamented
“Okay, ‘Querulous,’ Jackass!” and she hung up.
“I am not” I groused to no one in particular.

So here I am, the word that Wifey feels describe me best is Querulous.

One of the big truths of my life is that fact that I am a whiner and a complainer. Don’t get me wrong. I will do things I don’t want to do, but, much to the chagrin of people around me, I will whine about it the whole time. I wish it were not the case, but, alas it is. I whine… a bunch… all the time… about everything.

What am I currently querulous about? My hip hurts, I don’t like scraping off dishes, my shoulder hurts, I need more pants, I need more shirts, the neighbors down the street are still dealing pot, Little Man wants to watch trains all the time, my neck hurts, I get headaches all the time, I am out of shape, I have a hard time coming up with blog topics, I am burnt out at work, I don’t get enough sleep, I could go on forever, well, because I am querulous.

To recap
Nobody likes a whiner
But, there are few things harder to put up with than a good example
I have a cover to create and 4 maps that need to be done by tomorrow
And, yet, here I am writing to the unseen masses
The Name of the Wind
Read it!
I command you, my minions! Read it!
And no, the name of the wind is not Mariah
That is just what it is called
Have a great weekend everyone

taboo

About 2 years ago I decided that in order to save myself from the potential of getting “Dooced” I would not write anything significant associated with my workplace or work other than generalities such as “it has been a busy week” or “deadlines are hard” or “I would rather be napping than mapping.” The same can be said for real events that take place in my private life that, for all intents and purposes, should remain private. You guys are not going to hear about intimate details of my life, because, well, those are private.

By eliminating these two vast sources of, well, to be honest, incredibly funny story fodder, it sometimes hamstrings my ability to come up with a meaningful and hopefully witty post. Really some funny stuff happens all the time in my life that would be perfect blog fodder, but it is topica non grata for the blogarooney and therefore taboo to talk about.

It is a real shame that some of these vignettes shall not be translated into blog form, because some of it is really good stuff. The problem comes in when private life stuff and/or work life stuff is what dominates SRH’s noggin. It is hard to come up with topics outside of the things filling my subconscious and waking thoughts. These non-topics are the equivalent of the proverbial elephants in the “living room” that I am trying dearly not to talk about.

So, please dear reader, please understand that sometimes when I “don’t have a topic,” I really have a killer topic that I am either un-willing or un-able to share. So, say one day you see yet another post about “nothing.” You can almost bet that someone at my work has done something dunderheadedly, or that some reasonably embarrassing event has taken place in my personal life that you just are not going to hear about. In those work related instances, think of some silly crap that has happened on The Office (or the original BBC version). On the times when it is from my personal life, you could most like feel free to point and laugh in my general direction without being too far off the mark.

To Recap:
“Not much is going on right now”
No really
Why won’t you believe me any more
I don’t understand why zombies are always looking for brains
Wouldn’t any part of the body really do?
I understand wholeheartedly why zombies would be on the search for Brian’s though
I mean what undead being wouldn’t want a bit of a Brian?
Not sure what dinner will be tonight
Prolly leftovers
That’s right, I wrote “prolly.”
Allergies are kicking my butt today
Of the two taboo topics for this blog, the piece that is swirling about in my brain right now is the former, rather than the latter
I couldn’t believe that the muggles set off the Mage Bomb in Diagon Alley on page 723 of the HPVII
I was not expecting that
Voldemort and Harry taken down by muggle technology, how sad
Oh wait, I didn’t spoil it for anyone, did I?

20 Questions Tuesday: 53 - the Future I

Okay today’s topic must have struck a nerve with the questioneers from whom I request questions. I have gotten close to 70 questions for today’s post. Therefore I have decided in my infinite wisdom to spread this topic over 2 weeks and whittle the number of questions down to 40. So there will be close to 30 questions on the cutting room floor. Deal with it people. No one wants 4 weeks of a single topic. Especially me.

Thanks this week go to: Bomber, WV Slim, Lord Pithy, ACW, Lsig, Belsum, and TheMikeStand. On to the questions!


1. What will Little Man be when he grows up?
Taller

2. Where will you and Wifey choose to live in your retirement years?
Not sure, they seem so very far away, unless we win the lottery that we are not playing

3. Will I ever lose these damn last 9 pounds?? I need to fit into my skinny pants! (name withheld, please!)
Not the last 9 pounds, for then you would weigh nothing and not exist. Maybe you should aim at loosing the first 9 pounds.

4. Will we all eventually all be one color?
If “decayed” is a color, then eventually, yes.

5. How is the world going to end? Do you believe THE END IS NEAR?
In a scorching calamity as Sol, our closest star and nurturer of life goes super nova eventually enveloping the Earth into its fiery embrace. If you consider billions of years "near" then yes.

6. 20 years from now when the world's oil supplies have finally dwindled to nothing; if kittens are found to be a viable, renewable fuel source, would PETA protest, and would anyone care?
It is a resource that is not very reliable in it’s renewability, so I think we would have to find an alternative. Sadly the alternative would most likely be minks or baby seals and we will be fresh out of those by 2020.

7. What do you see as the biggest obstacle to a self-sufficient Mars base (for humans)? Solve it
Gamma radiation during the interstellar transit would be the biggest issue. Everyone would be rendered impotent as they traveled from the Earth to Mars. Without an ability to pro-create the Earthlings on Mars would go the way of the Shakers. They would make great furniture and die out since they will not procreate.

8. How long after the approval of gay marriages do we have to wait before the concept of group marriages are provided for in the US legal system?
Hmmmm… 25 years, to the date. It will be like an anniversary law.

9. Are we headed towards a future race of large thumbs, bald, pale, overweight techno geeks?
Heading towards?

10. Will supersonic travel become affordable to the point of changing our commuting patterns?
Fuel costs will still make it cost prohibitive compared to telecommuting.

11. Will the aluminum can evolve into a curved profile or just stay straight?
I do think there will eventually be some form of “ergo-can”

12. Will anything from Back to the Future 2 become reality… self-adjusting shoes, precise weather prediction, flying cars, Mr Fusion etc?
Precise weather prediction and the hover board.

13. How will people remember the first decade of the 21st century?
Fondly

14. Which version of the future of mankind seems more likely, "Star Trek" or "Soylent Green"?
Soylent Green, people are really a bunch of jerks.

15. If in the future we all have sassy robot maids and talking dogs like The Jetsons, do you really want to live that long?
Yeah, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t like talking dogs or sassy robot mades, however, useless discs fitted to my clothing could potentially offset the annoying anthropomorphistic canines and belligerent robots.

16. What are you having for dinner tonight?
Stuffed Mushrooms

17. Really, seriously, where are the flying cars? And the household robots? And the circular space stations? And the Dick Tracy watches? OK, we’re getting close to the Dick Tracy watches with cell phones. Will the modern cell phone/camera/television/internet portal/calculator ever become strapped to our wrists? Or will it turn into a tri-corder instead?
The future of the 50’s is most likely not in the cards. While some of that stuff would be nice, I really don’t see it happening soon.

The flying cars will be limited by the driving abilities of the general populace. If not heavily regulated they will not happen.

Household robots in the humanoid state probably will not happen, but automated processing in the home might.

Circular space stations? Too cost prohibitive

Dick Tracy watches? More likely tri-corders, a la the iPhone.

18. If you could see into the future, but had to choose between knowing what will happen a year from now, or ten minutes from now, which would you choose?
10 minutes, I would forget within a year’s time. I might be able to hold onto 10 minutes.

19. What are the chances that Apple and Microsoft will one day merge?
They are already starting to. All recent Apple OS’s can run most Windows softwares, and the most recent iMacs have Intel chipsets and non-Apple motherboards.

20. What is the future of blogging? Will blogs replace mainstream news media, or will it fall into ridiculed oblivion like so many other self-publishing avenues?
I think this medium will stay for a while, but evolve into vlogging and whatever the next step is. People will be appalled by the old schoolers still typing out posts.

To recap:
The future is interesting to most
I need sleep
Little Man’s picture blog is up and running
Almost typed “ruining”
I think both are appropriate
I need to take some dirty dishes home
Badly
I think one container is fuzzy
And not in that good, fuzzy logic kind of fuzzy either
Parents just got back from an Alaskan cruise
Dad was all excited because he saw an iceberg calving
He is a big old dork too
They didn’t seen any yetis – that I know of
My mom is, understandably, pretty low key about yeti sightings
She’s on the down low, so to speak

Orapred 2K7

Orapred’s effect on the 2 year old Little Man of, well 2 years and less ago is vastly different than the effects on his 4 year old self.

That’s right this weekend was an Orapred weekend par excellence. Thursday’s sniffles rapidly devolved into a full on asthma flare-up, such that on Friday he was “On the ‘Pred.” There are some pros and there are some cons associated with this more mature response to Orapred.

Pro: Little Man is old enough to understand that even though he does not like the flavor of Orapred, he still has to take it to get himself feeling better. In fact, all weekend long he took this horridly flavored medicine like a champ. We just made sure that there was some water or juice handy after swallowed the foul tasting goop. This is in direct parallel to the 2 year old who faught us tooth and nail to not take the “Yucky.” We had to hold that little boy down and force the yellow ichor down his throat.

Con: Now that Little Man is a bit more verbal, the Orapred makes him quite the chatty chatterbox. I don’t think he knows just how close he was to getting himself killed on Saturday night just before dinner time. 2 years ago, he would just be maniacally running around the house only in his socks and giggling like someone was tickling a banshee. Both of those behaviors are tiresome, but one we could at least look on with bemused detachment.

Pro: The 4 year old version of Little Man also understands that he has to be tethered to the nebulizer for as long as the medicine takes to come out. It is nice only having to answer his “Is it over yet” questions instead of bodily restraining him for the last 5 minutes of the breathing treatment. It is a wonder that he even likes us

Con: I mentioned the talking, right? That kid will not shut up from the hours of around 5 to 7 PM. 2 straight hours of 4 year old babble. I know he is whacked out of his mind, but, by Beckham’s Fashion Sense, he needs to shut up before his parents throttle him something fierce.

So to make a long story short, he really is dealing with the process of an asthma flare-up much better, but he deals with it by jabbering away like a blibbering fool. Both Wifey and I are quite tired from all the late night early morning breathing treatments, but he is breathing better so it is all worth it.

To recap:
Little Man’s photoblog is in the works
We might make a photoblog using Blogger with an associated Flickr site
We might just use Blogger
Who knows we are crazy people
Crazy people with nothing to lose
HP VII is done
My template is going to get some work done this week, even though I am not sure what my final look is going to be
How about a poll in comments
All in favor of me changing the name of this here blog from “Under Construction” to something else say “F Yeah, It is time you changed this M-F’er up!”
All opposed say, “F No! It wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t M-F-ing ‘Under Construction!”
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday topic will be about “The Future”
Oooooooh scary.

I: 9 of 26

Here we are week 20 of my 26 part series: The Ever So Random Alphabet of SRH. Who would have thought we would be here at this time 18 weeks ago? Who? …Really? Well, I was pretty sure we would be here. I didn’t know what letter we would be on, but I was fairly sure it would take 26 weeks. I was pretty confident that I would make it to 26. Were you guys thinking I wouldn’t make it? I mean, really, where did that question come from?

Anyway… aside from you doubters and nay-sayers, here we are at week 20. A full 10/13ths into the Randomness and I am just now getting to the 9th letter of the English alphabet, I. Some of you are going to look at this and say, “J and now I? How is that random?" Sometimes when things are truly randomized some adjacency occurs, in fact if it didn’t, I would question how random the randomness is. Anyway… enough of this claptrap, on to the meat of the matter.

I: Big I, Little i, I, i, i, Ichabod is itchy. So am I.

This letter was one of those that I had to search for. I thought about the word “industrious,” but knew that it did not refer to me. I thought of “integrity,” and then remembered that not only am I not integral to much, I am also loosing my physical integrity due to my bad knee, my worse knee, my aching hip, the shoulder that is on fire, and my craptastic ankles. Yeah, my degree of physical integrity is lacking even more than my social levels of integrity. The next word that came to mind was “interloper,” but I am not really one of those either. “Intelligent,” “Interesting,” “Ignominious,” “Integer,” “Illusionist,” “Irascible,” “Irresponsible,” “Irregardless,” wait that word isn’t even a word, “Ingenious,” “Iterative,” etc… Nothing seemed to fit for me that did not seem either pompous beyond my typical pomposity or just inappropriate. Then I thought, “Hey, wait a second, would I think “inappropriate” is the correct word? I mean I am sometimes inappropriate, but would I consider it a definitive characteristic?” The answer was a definite, “Nope.” Then I thought “Why, oh why were there no lunch meetings today with extra food I could scavenge?” But that was irrelevant… “irrelevant?” Nah… “Irreverent?” Yeaaaah, there we go. When I think of “I,” I think of Irreverant.

Took me long enough to come up with it. I have found that over my 33 years I have become more and more jaded and this jadedosity has led me increasingly down the path of irreverence. I think this does hearken back to the idea of “Funny over Nice” mentioned last week. Very little do I think is actually taboo for bringing the funny. That is where my irreverence comes in. I do not venerate or worship very much and therefore almost all topics are subject to satirical levity, and satirical levity is some good stuff. Sometimes my levity offends, sometimes it comes at the expense of others, but most if the time that satirical levity brought about by my overwhelming sense of irreverence is directed at myself.

So, when you think of the letter “I” and you think of little old me, SRH, I hope that the word that comes to mind is “Irreverent,” and not “Idiot” (although I will accept “Not Idiot” as a thought coming to your mind when you think of SRH).

To recap
Pg 398 in HP VII
Wifey and I are reading it aloud to each other
Now, ain’t that sickeningly sweet?
It should also explain why we aren’t done yet
This one does not read as well as some of the others in the series
HP V really read well aloud, even though it was the longest
Little Man has had a great birthday week
He has a complete new list of favorite toys now
Mimma got him one of those kid’s digital cameras
That kid cannot frame a shot to save his life
Heads cut off, subjects out of focus, fingers over apetures, etc...
“He’s only 4”, you say
A fact is a fact is a fact, bad framing
He is capable of getting some rather candid candid-shots though
I think I might have to set up a picture blog of all his pics that the fam is willing to share
Have a great weekend everyone

The Lone Shoe

Little Man turned 4 today. It is hard to wrap my tiny mind around the fact that he is 4. Good Lord, I will be beside myself when he hits the double digits! So this is a big shout out to the Little Man! Happy Birthday, Little Man! I wish you many more! But I covered this on Monday and no one wants to read a week of birthday stuff associated with Little Man sooo....

On with today’s post!

In my myriad of years stuck on this ball of mud there are certain typically mundane things that I see daily that confuse the hell out of me. This post is about The Lone Shoe.

“The Lone shoe?” you ask?

“Yes, The Lone Shoe,” I retort. “Not the Loan Shoe, that is a different issue entirely. Now listen up and I will ‘splain you about The Lone Shoe”

Let me set up the situation. You are driving down the road minding your own business, listening to the radio, and basically being fancy-free when you see it… lying in the gutter/ on the side of the road/ on the median of the road/ in between the lanes/ in the middle of the intersection/ on the berm (Hello, Ohioans!)/ all by it’s lonesome. You see the unpaired random shoe just sitting there… taunting you with its sordid story of betrayal and abandonment. This is The Lone Shoe.

The Lone Shoe

Typically this shoe is in a sorry state of disrepair like it has been living off the victuals left to it by passing motorists for weeks on end, but it wasn’t there yesterday and it won’t be there tomorrow. The shoe is most often a black sneaker/trainer of some sort laying on its side, forlornly looking for sweet release.

Many questions come to my mind whilst driving past this disheveled footwear. Where is the mate of this singular shoe? How did the owner of this shoe not realize that it has struck it out on its own? When they lost said shoe, why didn’t they stop and retrieve it? How did they not notice that their left foot was no longer shod? How did the shoe get next to the telephone pole? Really, why is it that the previous owner did not notice it passing from his possession? Is their an accompanying sock, or is the sock lost in the 7th dimension that resides between the dryer and the laundry basket? Buddy, you are only wearing one shoe! How can you not notice this? What’s up with the sock/dryer thing anyway (ah, a topic for a different post)? Why are you only partially laced up, oh, singular shoe of mystery? Sweet Billy Ray Cyrus! How in the name of Korn! Did you not notice the loss of half of your footwear?

Before anyone says, “Maybe the shoe fell out of a suitcase or bag of clothes.” Let me ask you a question, “Where are all the other items that fell out of the suitcase? Why just the shoe, smartypants? Tell me that one, Sherlock!” This is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, smothered in mystery, laying on top of a heaping helping of “BWAAAA?”

To recap:
Little Man is 4 today
He gets his gifts from us today
He is not going to like them nearly as much as he likes the marble thing that J, B, J, and J got him
Not made from marble, that would be too heavy for a 4 year old
Tomorrow shall be about some silly letter in the alphabet as it relates to me
H, I, Q, S, V, Y, and Z
That is all that is left
I still haven’t smurfed out the words associated with I, Q, and Z
Most likely one of those will randomly come up
Life is like that

Yesterday I got 202 hits

I usually average 50 or s0

See?

No really, I average around 50-ish except for yesterday

Of the 202 hits, I think 145 of them were for the Google search "M*A*S*H 'soft drink'"

Just a bit of a statistical outlier

What up with that?
I am accepting theories as to the origin and purpose of The Lone Shoe in comments.

20 Questions Tuesday: 52 - One year Later

This is the first annual anniversary of the weekly 20 Questions Tuesday portion of my blog. That’s right, 52 weeks ago I started this weekly featurette, and I think it has gone pretty well. So today’s topic is kind of a meta topic. Today’s topic is 20 Questions Tuesday. Recursive, isn’t it?

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Belsum, the Em, JA Coppinger, Information Diva, Capt. McArmypants, Tree Monkey, Bomber, Wifey, Sassyfrass, Kim, and Dr B-Dawg.

On to the questions:

1. How many questions do you usually receive for a given 20 Questions Tuesday?
Usually right around 20. Sometimes I get 22, sometimes I get 18

2. What has been your favorite 20 Questions Tuesday topic thus far? What is your favorite 20 question theme from the last 52 weeks? What was your favorite 20 questions subject? Why?
Here is a list:
12 and 13 – Breakfast Cereal
I really like breakfast cereals and have a truly amazing amount of completely useless knowledge about cereals at my beck and call
16 – Wifey
This one was just fun to do
There are other ones that I like as well, but those 3 really stick out in my mind

3. Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Yes, it is either an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral

4. Bigger than a breadbox?
Yes

5. Why is it that everyone assumes a girl knows nothing about anything mechanical?
How old is the girl in question? I mean, if it is a 4 year old girl, I am not going to assume she knows anything about anything other than Dora’s hat size (if she can count that high. Have you seen the size of that cartoon character’s melon? Gigundous!)

6. Why Tuesday and why twenty? Why not the Wednesday six, or Friday eleven? Why is it 20 questions? Why not 14? or 22? Notice, I too, like even (not odd) numbers. Why twenty questions? That is such a clean round number. Is there any significance to it?
There is an immediate reaction to the phrase 20 Questions. Since there is a game of that name, it just seemed to make sense. Post size wise and time/effort wise 10 would have been a better idea.

7. Who was the best FRPG (Fantasy Role Playing Game) character you ever ran and why?
2 that I would have to choose between. Number 1, a Shadowrun elf gun-bunny named Shnüggy-Whompah, deadly, but no npc ever took him seriously because of the name. I ran him for 3 years in a home campaign during college. Number 2, a Masque of the Red Death soldier named Sgt Mjr Sean MacKintosh. I ran him for about 4 to 5 years in one of the RPGA’s “living” campaigns. That campaign ended and now I am creating a char for the Fellowship of the White Star campaign that is just ramping up. (I did the cover art and some of the interior art as well, BTW)

8. “Global Warming,” how much of that is crap?
I would say that about 20% of it is crap. The other 80%? Spot on

9. “Global War on Terrorism,” how much of that is crap?
This is more of a 90/10 , where the 90% signifies the crap.

10. “Wobal Glar,” how much of that is crap?
The first 2 words

11. What are you getting your blog since it’s the year anniversary of 20 Questions? Is it time to redesign the interface? I see Wifey redesigned hers, are you going to step up to the plate and make yours more visually appealing too?
It is definitely time to redesign, I have some ideas mulling about in my head. I think I am going to try and implement them soonish. Let's be clear, I redesigned Wifey’s blog, thank you very much.

12. Have you ever had a negative reaction to a question you are asked? (Shock, dismay, what the ??)
I have only caused controversy with other posts. I don’t think I have greatly offended with answers to a question.

13. Have you ever had to edit out a question because it was too raunchy or controversial?
You have no idea. The people I ask for questions are gutter dwelling porn fiends.

14. What do you know today that you wish you had known last year on July 24, 2006?
Sports scores that I could have bet on.

15. Is there any significance to doing the 20 Questions on Tuesdays?
Not really, I thought it would be a nice break in my 4 days of posting.

16. Now that you are a published artist (if you weren't before), do you have any plans on how to spend the accolades you will receive from your fame? Will you become difficult to deal with in regards to the paparazzi?
Sadly, I am an unpaid published artist, so the paparazzi haven’t really been swarming me as I get in my car.

17. Speaking of the Paparazzi, and yes we are speaking of them, do you feel that stars are justified in hating their guts or do you think the stars should deal with the attention as part of their getting rich off the fans?
I think stars should expect a certain amount of unwanted publicity, but I do think that the paparazzi regularly invades their private space

18. Speaking of fans, and yes we are speaking of fans, not star fans but air moving fans, how many do you have? We have one that works, and 3 ancient looking ones that a kid could loose a hand in (they are out of "reach") that she uses as decoration. Isn't it weird to decorate with fans?
3 ceiling fans, 3 oscillating fans (one is in bad shape), 2 floor fans. If your wife were not associated heavily with a restaurant chain that typically decorates with 40’s and 50’s items, I would find it a bit odd.

19. If the internet did not exist, what would you doing in this spare time?
Not this

20. Since the past year marked the fashionable end of reading, will the blog eventually evolve into a video blog?
There will be no vlogging here. I would not subject anyone to a audi blog or video blog of my inane prattle

To recap:
Page 251 of HP VII
I had to send out a second request for questions today
Only had to do that 2 other times
Would make sense that it occurred on the anniversary
I have 3 things to do today at work
I am avoiding all 3 very actively
Tomorrow is the actual birthday for Little Man, so I have to make another cake tonight
This will be the 3rd cake in 4 days
Everyone is insisting upon a cake
A new cake that hasn’t been gnawed on
Little Man gets the hairs cut this evening
He will look soooooo cute
Have a great day everyone

Birthday Week

This week is Little Man’s birthday week. It seems, as far as Little man is concerned, that his birthday is a weeklong celebration. Since Little man does not deal with large groups of people well, last year we broke up his birthday party into multiple birthday extravaganzas. It went much better than the gigantic party that he had for Year 2’s party. That one completely overwhelmed his little self. All he wanted to do that day was find some quiet.

I think he had a total of 4 birthday celebrations last year, and this year I think we will have the same svelte 4. That seemed to work really well, but Little Man thinks that any and all play dates this week will culminate with him receiving presents. Oh well, it will be hard to disavow him of that notion, and really, I am not sure I want to.

The big issue is that he is 4 years old. How the Hell has this been 4 whole years? I mean really, seem like it was just yesterday that Wifey was technically “great with” Little Man. Now, she is “mediocre at best” with him. Unlike me, I am sub-par with Little Man. I think that is why he devotes so much time into trying to train me. Honestly, I have no idea where the time has gone, I guess near constant sleep deprivation will do that to you. I have a sleep debt that will take until I am 57 years old to pay out, and that is if I don’t accrue any more. I wish there were a way to roll up my sleep debt into my sleep mortgage and refinance to lower my sleep payments. Sadly, there isn’t. Heck, I know if I had some sleep credit, I would just spend it anyway.

In fact this morning, I hit the snooze button on the alarm 3 times without realizing that was what I was doing. It was not until Wifey said (and I misquote) “Stop hitting that Damn snooze button! I will kill you and drink your soul. If you hit snooze one more time I swear I will wear your skin as a blanket! Or at least turn down the volume, you half witted semi-asleep jackass.” It is a loving relationship to say the least.

So far Little Man has made out like a highwayman of yore (not this Highwayman [Jacko as Jetto? WTF?!?!?]). He has many a gift that he is enjoying. Potentially even as I type this. His actual birthday is the Wedneday the 25th of July. So on Wednesday think fondly on the last 4 years, for the world would be a darker nastier place without the shining beacon that is Little Man!

To recap:
Sure today’s post didn’t really come to a “real” conclusion, but I was done

Let's be clear, I often get tired of writing before you get tired of reading
The Highwayman does not really have too many images available on the net

Oi! What's the best battery you can buy?

It'll suprise ya, tha Energizer

I've been replaced by a pink bunny? WTF, Mate?
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday is the 52nd in the series
For some reason, that is considered to be a big thing on a calendar year
Makes me wonder why I decided to start it up in late July last year
Bizarre timing
Page 176 of HPVII
At this rate we will be done in 8 more days
Blistering pace, I know
It is getting to be time to update the blogarooney’s look and feel

J: 10 of 26

We are closing in on the culmination of the Random Alphabet of SRH. Today is the 19th installment of the 26 part series. So, I guess you are all learning waaay more about me then you ever wanted to. That’s okay, I am learning boatloads about myself as well. Today’s letter is the 10th letter in the English alphabet, the letter J. Without further ado.

J: Big J, Little j. What begins with J? Jerry Jordan’s Jelly Jar and Jam begin that way.

J was one of the 8 or so letters that I did not have an immediate word come to mind. Other’s in this series of letters were D, E, R, and U. So far for the letters I have left, I have words for all of them except Z. Time will remedy this. Oh yes, time will remedy this indeed.

After much soul searching and looking through lists of words that start with J, I have arrived at the word that J starts. First I was going to do something absolutely esoteric and find some reference obscura from Norse or Celtic mythology that started with J. You know something like Heimdall’s sword name or some silly crap like that. Sadly, there is not much in the Celtic or Norse mythoses (how do you make the plural of the word Mythos? Is it with an apostrophe?) that start with the letter J. There is boat loads of stuff from Nordic traditions where the second letter is J, but only things associated with monsters like Jörmungandr (almost chosen merely for the umlauts over the ‘o’) and the evil frost giants popped up. In the Celtic Mythos, there isn’t even a section for the letter J. Kind of pitiful, really.

So I had to search deeper. I had to look in the nooks and crannies in my skull to find the right word. The word that finally jumped out at me was jocular. Not jockular, for that would be something inherently not me.

joc'·u·lar [jok’-yuh-ler] –adjective: given to, characterized by, intended for, or suited to joking or jesting; waggish; facetious: jocular remarks about opera stars.

I like the funny. I really do. One of my personal mantras is “Always funny over nice.” It sounds better in Latin (any and all Latin translations would be appreciated. I am certain that my declension is off on these), Semper Jocasa abeo Bellum. I just need to put that on a coat of arms. Well, put it on a coat of arms after it has been correctly translated.

I know there are people out there who think this is not necessarily the truth (and I have let this mantra slip behind before) but I really do subscribe to this belief. There is just some stuff in this world that is funny. I love to make people laugh, and I have found that the deepest belliest of laughter comes from the unfortunate situations of others. Okay, maybe not the actual situation, those can be poignant and tragic, but commentary upon those dismal situations can be some of the funniest crap ever heard.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I bite my tongue. There are times I make sure that everything is okay with someone, but the thoughts are there. And let me tell you, if the thought is there, there is a high probability that someone else will hear that thought in the form of words coming out of my mouth.

Everyday is pirate day for one-eyed Suzy.

To recap:
Omnipotent? Nah. Omniscient? Nah. Omnipresent? Nah
Omnijocular? Oh HELL yeah. If I could I most definitely would
Had a delightful lunch with wifey today – even though she was crabby
Not working tomorrow
Have a great Friday, suckers!
Crabby wifey is funny
But only to me – woah, be to those who get in her way
Little Man turns 4 next week
I will be a sobbing mess
Wifey will probably just be cranky
Have a great weekend everyone

Top 3

Let’s see if I can bring the inane!

Top 3 animal-like things you don’t want to meet in a dark alley.

Number 3: Spartan Otter

Number 2: Highland HippoNumber 1: Vampire Bear

The reasons should be clear

To recap
I really need sleep
Badly
Tomorrow will be a more timely entry
I promise
Probably less digital manipulation though

Sloppy Joes for dinner

Family is still pretty much sick

I am at 37 hours for the week

I will not be in here on Friday

20 Questions Tuesday: 51 - Jobs and/or Employment

Since yesterday’s post was abjectly not about work, I have determined that today’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about Jobs and/or Employment. Thanks this week go to Lsig (technical and marketing writer), Dustin (chump, professional chump), Themikestand (G-man [economist]), Allrileyedup (at home mother slash writer [does that mean you write “slash fiction?}], and Peefer (an M.E. if I remember correctly).

On to the questions:

1. Your least favorite job?
One summer I had some contract work where I placed thermocouples in test sights for a Georgia Electric power plant in Rome, Georgia efficiency test. There were room I was in that were around 139° F (59.45° C) yeee-uck

2. At a job interview, I was once asked what the most horrible job I could image would be. How would you answer that? (Mine was wrangling free-range chickens. I went for the comedy).
At a job interview? That is a tough one. My natural inclination is to go with “Assistant Crack Ho.” Then you aren’t even a crack ho yet.

3. Would you rather have a boring job with people you like, or an interesting, challenging job with people you tolerate?
Either would be better than what I m doing right now… Oh, I forgot many a colleague of mine read this. What I meant to say was that I already have a challenging job where I am surrounded by extremely interesting co-workers.

4. What makes for a good boss?
When they give good raises.

5. Is it true that you can do any job (no matter horrible) for a month?
No

6. Honestly, does what kind of paper you print your resume on really make that big a difference?
In today’s electronic age, I am not entirely sure if paper is really all that necessary.

7. What kind of job/career do you think that Little Man will grow up to have?
Hmmmm… a well paying one, dammit! I want him to buy me a life of luxury.

8. Are there people who get paid to surf the net all day?
Yep, they are not paid much though

9. When you were 12, what was your dream job? C'mon, really. It was working in a record store, wasn't it?
At 12? Comic Book Artist!
Dr Doom!

10. Crystal ball, here. What will your last job (i.e. if you're semi-retired) be?
Bank heist, I swear it will be he last one! I am going straight after this job.

11. Hypothetical question: You're running a business which fabricates those little metal eyelets that get put on shoes through which shoelaces pass. What is your business called?
Hyothetical answer: Eyes Without a Face.

12. Since you mentioned it, what is the difference between jobs and employment?
There are many jobs that people have even if they are not employed. Employment typically is remunerated with some sort of monetary amount.

13. Is micromanagement ever necessary?
In some instances it is. When an employee has tons of potential but very little follow through. It might be necessary to step on their neck until they learn how to do it themselves.

14. Do you agree or disagree with the statement that teachers are not paid enough? How about athletes being paid too much?
Sadly, I think that the market forces are paying what the market will bear. The issue with teacher salaries as well as social work salaries a well as most non-profit salaries is that the people doing those jobs are doing it because that is the job they would be doing no matter what. That is why society can get away with paying them shit. I teacher were paid as much as medical doctors there would be a glut of teachers that want a paycheck instead of teaching. People and sponsors shell out the money for athletes. If people think they should not make so much, they should stop supporting them.

15. If you were a Jedi, what would be your position/duties (eg: Wookie Liason)?
If there were 2 schools of Jedi-dom (The Jedi School of Kicking-Ass and The School of Taking Names) I would want to be a part of the ass kickers, but sadly I would be part of the name takers.

16. Have you ever had a crush on and/or dated a co-worker? If so, did it affect your work?
Nope.

17. What is the laziest, least-disciplined, most unproductive work day
you have ever experienced?
15 May 2006.

18. In Venn diagram speak, does your set of work friends and your set of real friends intersect? ("Real friends" being those with whom you might watch a movie or TV until 1am. Or fart in front of.)

19. Total mg of caffeine per day?
Next QUESTION! I SAID NEXT QUESTION!!!

20. Have you ever photocopied your bum?
Nope

To Recap:
I am tired
Everyone in the family has a cold
So so tired
Tomorrow I will post on something inane
I promise
Inanity
Silver shoes must be worn with socks
Summer TV really sucks
I mean really

Boooooooooooring

So today was a busy day at work. I had to create 3 graphics from scratch by the end of business today. I got 2 of the 3 done, so at least I have that going for me. But this blog’s purpose is not to bore you good readers with details of my laborious vocation. Nay, the reason for this blog is to bore you good readers with details of my rather mundane non-work life. And bore you I shall.

On Friday of last week nothing happened. That’s right. Nothing. This leads me to tell you about Friday night where all the fun (loosely and ill-defined) occurred. Now before any of you go on thinking dirty thoughts, this story is about Little Man and his coughing. On Thursday of last week Little Man’s breathing started to be sporadically disrupted by coughing. He slept pretty well on Thursday night, but Friday night was something else entirely.

Around 11:30 at night Little Man woke up coughing too much to fall to sleep. I rocked him until about 12:30 before the myriad of medications started working on his non-feeble cough. Bored yet? Well, after gingerly laying him down back into his wonderful slide bedecked bed I went to bed to try and get some blessed sleep as well. But I have been having some difficulty getting to sleep, so around 15 games of spider solitaire later I finally drifted off to a fitful sleep of discomfort.

“Discomfort?” you ask? Why yes, dear blog reader, discomfort indeed. Bored yet? Well, give me a second, the story doesn’t really speed up from here. I know there are about 1 of you out there who will push through this boringness, and you will not be rewarded with anything amazing at the end of this post. Just more boredom. I told you my aim is to bore, and bore I will. So, my right hip is hurting as well as my right shoulder. I am getting old and decrepit. But tha ladies still find meh sexay!! So around 2:30 I finally fell to sleep.

Anyway, around 4:00 Little Man coughed himself awake. So we medicate him something fierce again. FYI, I think next time we are medicating him with some scotch. Any recommendations, Themikestand? We are looking for a full bodied scotch that is afordable and consumable in mass quantities by a near 4 year old. Anyway he finally goes back to bed on his own at 5:30. So Wifey and I immediately fell into our blissful slumber. Bored yet? I am and I am writing this crap.

To make a long story short (I missed that one pretty badly, didn’t I?) I took a long long nap on Saturday, and that made me very happy.

To recap:

Naps = goods
Mmmm naps
Today sucked
Tomorrow will suck too
I will be traveling 3.5 hours away and back
That is 7 hours just in a car, not to mention the craptastic meeting I am traveling to
I will have over 26 hours of work under my belt by the time I am done with work tomorrow
Naps = good
Since I am clearly a workaholic, tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will be about jobs
I will probably be posting this from home tomorrow night
Deal with it
Sweet Jebus, I just re-read this post and I think I brought the boredom
I brought it in spades

E: 5 of 26

Here we are with the 18th installment of the Random Alphabet of SRH. Today’s letter is a vowel. Today’s letter is the 5th letter of the English Alphabet. Today’s letter is the second letter of the vowel quintet. Today’s letter is E. Today’s letter was chosen via the more scientific method of looking at the remaining 9 letters of the alphabet (E, H, I, J, Q, S, V, Y, Z) and rolling a 10 sided die.

If I rolled a 0 I would roll again. I didn’t roll a 0 though. I rolled a 1. So here we are with E.

E: A, B, C, D, E… e… e… Ear, Egg, Elephant, E… e… E…

E is one of those letters that I was not able to come up with a word immediately upon seeing the letter. Don’t get me wrong, it is an interesting letter linguistically. It can be silent yet affect the sound of a vowel preceding it. It is often associated with the ubiquitous schwa sound. The long version of its own vowel sound requires the letter to be a part of a vowel laden diphthong. Odd letter, that E. Upon further introspection the aspect of SRH-iness that came to mind with E was Either.

At its basic point either is about choice. One can do either this or this or this or this. One can choose this or this or this or this. To me either is the foundation for the concept of choice, and it is one of my personal philosophies that there is always a choice. There are never absolutes. Well, except for that one. There are always choices that can be made. Oh and I guess “always” implies an absolute as well. I am soooo not good at this. Some of the choices that are possible for any given event may not be very realistic or good for anyone involved or even not involved, but they exist.

Whenever someone tells me that they didn’t have a choice, I know that they did. They may have removed choices from being possible due to whatever, but they had a choice and they chose to do whatever action they did. This is not to say that when bad things happen to people it is necessarily their own damn fault because they chose to do whatever. It is to say that certain choices did allow for events to occur how the do/did.

I am a firm believer that nothing is truly inevitable. Choice and one’s navigation through life help drive how events unfold. When someone says something was inevitable, they are disregarding choices leading up to that “inevitability.” Either some will happen or it won’t, but if it happens or not I have helped create that eventuality by my own choices.

To recap:
I am not sure that either was a wise choice
Oh well
Some of these letters are just plain difficult
Not sure what is for dinner tonight
I might let Little Man choose
Cleaned up my desk at work
It is amazing how much better my workspace seems when it is clean
Well, tidy. It isn’t really clean
The surfaces need some scrubbing, but at least most of the clutter is gone
My shoulder is getting better, but it is still hurting somewhat
I need to sleep more
Have a great weekend everyone

One of those

Ever have one of those days where you stub your toe getting out of the car. Subsequently offending a gaggle of nuns with your cursing due to said stubbed toe. Leading you to trip whilst apologizing and rip your brand new pair of pants. Causing you to inspect the rip in said pair of pants. Giving the birds overhead a perfect target for their processed food. Instilling in you a new and more immediate need to curse and call forth blasphemic epithets. Bringing about the collected hurumphing of the previously understanding and forgiving nuns. Thus necessitating the phrase “Welll SOOORRR-Reee, Sisters” at the exact moment a Roller Derby team consisting solely of women of African ethnic descent emerges from the adjacently parked van. Culminating into a massive beat down where the phrase “I wasn’t meaning you, I was trying to offend the nuns” gives you no respite from the kicking and the hitting and the thrashing about of the head and shoulders areas, and yet further angers the Catholic standers-by into defacing your car with the phrase “Racist Nun-Hater” keyed lovingly into the driver’s side panels. Eventually garnering no sympathy or repair estimate from the Nigerian Catholic body-shop owner, who is the local chapter head of the State Auto Body Paint and Repair club. Thus insuring that no auto body paint and repair shop in the state will be willing to fix your unfortunately mis-labeled car.

So there you sit in your defaced car bleeding from multiple locations, looking at your sullied and torn new pants, most likely getting excommunicated for blasphemy, trying to figure out why the Nigerian man is Catholic instead of coptic like you thought the majority of Nigerian Christians were, smelling of bird-shit, with an aching, throbbing toe wondering what it is that went wrong with your life.

I like to call those weekdays

To recap:
Work work work
I have to get a poster printed, and mounted by end of business today
And I cannot find anyone who finds the poster attractive enough to mount
I will return triumphantly tomorrow with another one of the 26

20 Questions Tuesday: 50 - Gen X and the Go-Go 90's

Due to the OVERWHELMING response (one comment, Thanks B!, and my response) to this past Thursday’s post X: 24 of 26, I have decided with my insurmountable wit that today’s theme for the 20 Questions Tuesday extravaganza will be about Gen X and the Go-Go 90’s.

Thanks this week go to: ACW (most likely sad that Poison was ousted by Nirvana), Lord Pithy (felt the public embrace of the B-52’s for Love Shack and Roam was too little, too late), Bomber (a closet Bon Jovi fan if I have ever seen one), Peefer (for some reason Depeche Mode comes to mind as one of “your” bands of the 90’s), and JW (too cool for mainstream music. Prolly listened to Los Straightjackets back in 94 when they pressed their first album).

On to the Questions:

1. What were you doing on the "day that the music died"? (4/5/94)
I had class that day, I believe I had Differential Equations II and Cartography I and Cartography Lab that day. I was sad, but not surprised. One of my friends was absolutely shaken by this event. Still wears a Cobain shirt occasionally. Cobain was a tortured morose soul.

2. How did the Northridge earthquake get covered out here in the Midwest (1/17/94)?
I am at a bit of an advantage for this one, so my results are a bit skewed. In the aforementioned Cartography I class the professor’s primary research was in mapping natural disasters. She was like a kid in a candy store collecting research on this one. She subsequently imparted much of her research on the students in her classes.

3. What's up with that OJ guy? Did he ever find the killer he was going to search for?
I think the killer must have been a caddie… Anyway, I was incensed that the OJ trial was called the “Trial of the Century.” How quickly people forget about Nuremburg.

4. Did you "party likes it’s 1999?"
In 1995 I was all about partying like it was 1999, however I had calmed down considerably by December 31, 1998.

5. Screw Gen X, I'm from the Me Generation, so why can't I ask a question about Me? Why do most Gen X-ers feel superior to Me?
No one cares about the Me Generation except, ironically, the Me Generation. You can ask a question, but no one will really care. I would imagine that Gen X-ers feel superior to you not because of your generation label, but because of you.

6. What is the absolute oldest I could be and still be part of Gen X?
Honestly, I think it is around 35-36 years old. So I would go with 36.

7. How about Jem X, would she still be Totally Outrageous?
Like, OUTRAGEOUS TIMES 10!

8. GenX / jinx – coincidence?
I have found in labeling there are very few coincidences.

9. So let's hear your thoughts on the "slacker" label given to Gen X-ers...if you're not too indifferent to respond!
I think Gen-X-ers saw the adults in the 80’s working themselves to the bone in the professional rat race and not getting much for their above and beyond efforts. We collectively looked around and determined that enough is really enough and extra effort was not really necessary. Why work your ass off for an "A" when a "B" is all that is required?

10. When Gen X-ers are in their 60’s and pieces are written about their generation, what will be touted as the greatest contribution of this generation?
Mediocrity (actually the Internet)

11. Can you explain WHY Boyz II Men's craptastic song "End of the Road" broke records in the 90s as the single to remain at the #1 position for the longest stretch of time?
I do not understand this phenomenon at all. While there was a dearth of popular true R&B in the mid to late 90’s, I can’t think that there was enough of a fanbase to make that #1 for so long. All I can come up with is that they timed its release just in time for the song to become every Class of 94’s “Class Song.”

12. Chris Farley, Tim Meadows, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Julia Sweeney joined Saturday Night Live in the year 1990. Do you have a favorite cast from SNL?
Hmmmm…. I would have to go with the early years after Chevy Chase left or the Carvey, Hartman, Meyers years.

13. Please help me and summarize what happened in the 90's. I have Absolutely no recollection.
Ummm… If you really need a primer on the 1990’s, I would suggest looking somewhere else on the Internet. This weblog would be a woeful source of real information.

14. Did the world get better or worse, or did it stay EXACTLY the same?
With the advent of the Internet, I would say that the world only got better for porn.

15. Are the 90's the decade in which The Beatles finally started losing popularity? If so, please explain why.
The people who popularized the Beatles were parents of teenagers and pre-teens in the 90’s. Because nothing parents do is cool, the Beatles became un-cool.

16. What on earth did people do with their lives prior to reality TV?
Must See TV on Thursday nights on NBC.

17. Why is there such an emphasis on naming each generation? (X, Y, Me, Boomers, etc)
The media wants labels to address collective attributes of like aged people.

18. What are some of the 90's articles of clothing that Little Man will make fun of you for wearing in old photos?
Only time will tell, but most likely jeans shorts.

19. Did you think people REALLY liked the Grunge scene, or just went along with it because MTV said it was cool?
Grunge was a nice alternative to the girls, booze, and fun of the 80’s hairbands. Grunge was a different sound (mainly due to the minor chords) and the market was ripe for a new sound. I don’t think MTV created the movement as much as it rode the movement.

20. WHY?
Why Ask Why? Drink Bud Dry

To Recap:
I don’t have much to recap today
There were things that I could have linked for today’s post, but I am feeling all 90’s apathetic*
Would have linked:
X: 24 of 26
Poison
Nirvana
B-52’s
Bon Jovi (via wikipedia)
Peefer
Depeche Mode
JW
Los Straightjackets
Kurt Cobain (via wikipedia)
‘94 Northridge Earthquake (via wikipedia)
“Trial of the Century” (via wikipedia)
Nuremburg Trials (via wikipedia)
Jem
Boyz II Men
Chevy Chase
Dana Carvey
Phil Hartman
Mike Meyers
the Beatles
And “Must See TV” (via wikipedia)
"Drink Bud Dry" (via wikipedia)
The end


*All hyperlinks in this post were made by the person submitting the questions, not the author of the answers as per usual.