Sunroof?

This morning on my way into work it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Hey, I could open up my sunroof”… and I did. I opened up the sunroof with wild abandon. It was like I was one of those girls on the Girls Gone Wild videos except I am a guy, I wasn’t drunk, I have fairly high self esteem, and it was only my sunroof… but the wild abandon and the “who cares if they see this attitude” was there. That counts for something, right?

It is January 2008 in central Ohio and I am driving to work with my sunroof open. Anybody else see this as atypical weather? I know a bunch of you out there will be thinking, “Just be glad that it is so nice out.” Well stop thinking that. I would rather it be super cold in January and February so that March, April and May won’t have any cold spells. As it is, for every nice day we see in January, we get 3 crap ones in March or April. Put that in your crack-pipe and smoke it fair weather junkies!

The other big issue with it being a whopping 62° F (16.667° C) here is that it is playing havoc with my ever so sensitive sinuses. I cannot survive going from 20° F to 60° F in a week’s time. Pick a temp and stay with it for a while. Is that so much to ask? Clearly it is.

My head hurts, my hair is messed up, and I am whiney.

To recap:
I could probably cut glass with some of the dry skin on my hands
Or my left elbow
Or my ankles
I should probably use lotion
New shirt today and I have already gotten 3 compliments
I need to start exercising again
Listening to Pizza Day by the Aquabats!
More bands need to less full of themselves
Hooray for Pizza Day
Why, Fluffy, I have been expecting you
I need to get some food
Because food is good
I already have stuff for Digital Thursday
It is only Monday
The continuation of the Holiday Season 20 Questions Tuesday will take place tomorrow
It will be all fat and bloated from the holiday feasting
Who would have thought that Chutes and Ladders would be so captivating
Oh, college students, my bad

Digital Thursday

Who is Ookla without Thundarr I ask you? No one, that’s who.

This digital Thursday is the addition of Thundarr to the Ookla pic. This was a rough one because Ooklah turned out so well. Thundarr had to be really well drawn. I missed a bit on the “really well” part. He is “drawn” though, so that has to count for something, right? Here is the pic. Draw your own conclusions now before I start to dissect the things that I see as being issues. Go ahead look at the pic, I will wait…




Okay firstly, It was very difficult to get the correct amount of texture on Thundarr’s arms. No one knows for sure what the texture is of a Mok’s arms, so Ookla’s works, but Thundarr’s arms don’t quite work. His face is a bit wonky as well.

All that is left is Ariel, the sorceress.

To recap:
Car started fine this morning
Jumped it yesterday evening
Drove it for about 45 minutes to an hour
Now it starts even at lower temps than yesterday
Slept for crap yesterday night
Maybe I will sleep better tonight
Been stuck in print hell today
Print hell sucks
Have a great weekend everyone

Resolutions

The topic at work today is “What are your New Year’s resolutions.” The other topic is “I am so glad that I don’t have to write checks anymore, because I would get the year wrong each time.” But we aren’t talking about the second topic, because it is just plain silly.

Resolutions tend to be a bit like self fulfilling broken prophecies. I think this is due to how people frame the resolutions. People tend to make them way too particular and typically unattainable. Therefore I will turn the old blogarooney into a self help styled blog today to assist with creating reasonable resolutions.

Number 1: Be vague. It is much easier to “be more healthy” than it is to “lower my cholesterol by 50 points.” Vague is the way to go because it is harder to miss a vague target. You only lower the cholesterol by 45 points… you broke the specific resolution, but the vague one is a winna!

Number 2: Do not associate a timeframe to the resolution. Give yourself the entire year, these are year long resolutions anyway. “I will lose 25 lbs by the summer so I will look good at the beach.” That is a 6 month resolution which means you need to lose 5 lbs every month during the dreary winter months filled with slothful heavy foods. Good luck. How about you lose the 25 over the course of 12 months? Or better yet, make the resolution “to look better naked.” 25 pounds? Highly unlikely. “Better looking nekkid?” Attainable.

Number 3: Stay away from addictions. Smoking, alcohol, heroine, gambling, World of Warcraft, porn (this is the Interweb after all), lip-balm, etc… these resolutions are destined to be broken… and fast. Fighting addictions is not something that should be reduced to a “resolution.” Addictions take lifestyle change, and lifestyle change does not happen because the calendar year went up by 1.

There you go! Three hints to make attainable New Year’s resolutions.

What are SRH’s New Year’s resolutions? You ask. Well, good reader, I don’t make resolutions. They are stupid.

To recap:
Still late posting today
But not sooooo late
Tomorrow is Digital Thursday
Here’s a hint: “OOkla has a friend”
Not sure what is going on for dinner tonight
I hope it involves my car starting
I drove Wifey’s car today and stranded her at the house
I am good like that
16° F (-8.889° C) seemed a bit too cold for my crappy battery
Hopefully 25° F (-3.889° C) won’t be
I knew I should have driven it around yesterday

20 Questions Tuesday: 73 - Interview with Wifey

Okay, here I am at home without having forwarded any of my questions from my venerable questioners.

Instead of my typical 20 Questions Tuesday, I am being “interviewed” by Wifey. Here we go.

1. If you could only visit one website for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Amazon.com I could still purchase most things that I have become so accustomed to purchasing.

2. Is there any Star Wars character you secretly don’t like, even though everyone else thinks they are awesome? (Chewbacca is the one for me. Quit freaking yodeling you furry weirdo!)
Mace Windu. Samuel L Jackson’s performance was wooden, and the character was a doofus. Purple light saber? More like pink, Captain Dies-So-Easy

3. What were the candidates for the blog’s previously potential name change?
The Force is Not Strong with This One and Economy of Motion were the 2 front runners

4. Do you think we are having a boy or a girl? (and don’t answer “Yes, we are going to have a boy or a girl.”)
Depends on the day. One day I feel like Little Man will have a little brother and other days I think he will have a little sister.

5. TRON, please explain.
If you have to ask, it cannot be xplained. Plus you don’t really like the acting stylings of Bruce Boxlightner or Jeff Bridges. What’s up with that?

6. Have you ever held a grudge? I hold a grudge like a rabid wolverine. Your best friend still holds a grudge from you getting orange cream-cicles in kindergarten when everyone else had to have chocolate ice cream cups.
Hmmm… I guess my apathy outweighs my, uh…lack of apathy? What the hell is “lack of apathy?”

7. What are you vain about?
My humor. I know that I shouldn’t be vain about it, but, damn, I feel that I am funny, by gum! Granted, I understand that humor doesn’t work every time, but I really think I am pretty funny.

8. Dude, we’re out growing our house, and we are adding a baby to it. What gives?
We are trying to reallocate some of that space right now. Kitchen addition = bigger kitchen with new office and using the 3rd bedroom as a nursery. People get by with more people in less space all the time.

9. Come on! Give them something they don’t know about you.
That isn’t even a question! I don’t like pistachio pudding.

10. Three wishes, what are they?
Wish 1: hmmmm…
Wish 2: uhhhh…
Wish 3: errrrrm…
Are these like monkey’s paw wishes? Or beneficial Barbara Eden-esque genie from I Dream of Genie wishes? I need more information before I can make these wishes. Monkey’s Paw wishes take very specific wording while I Dream of Genie wishes take good intentions and tickling

11. Have you ever been jealous?
Yes

12. How much money would it take to get you to streak down our street completely naked?
Hmmm, do I get to choose conditions? Time of day? Time of year? That kind of stuff? Again, I need more information before I can place a price on my dignity.

13. Hey, you haven’t answers the last couple of questions. That’s not okay!
My blog, my rules. You want things different? Start posting on yours again. Plus, I answered Number 11.

14. Do you think I could drive a minivan? That is clearly where we are heading and you know about my depth perception.
Yes, you could, but you don’t think you could. There are other alternatives. We could always leave one kid at home to fend for him/herself. We have to start this one early.

15. When am I getting my granola bars?
I don’t know. I ordered them about a month ago and they aren’t ready yet. Something about oat shipments and the price of tea in China.

16. Your parents, seriously, what is with them? And make it funny, Laugh-Boy!
Hmmm… imagine a bull, a penguin, a moose, and a hula hoop. There. Get it? Oh, and the movie TRON. It should all make so much more sense now.

17. How are you like your dad?
Damn, woman, these questions just took a bad turn. I would have to say, proportions. I have a longer torso than legs. Thanks, Dad!

18. How are you like your mom?
You are a cold bitch to ask that. A cold cold bitch! I don’t even know who you are anymore. My coloring.

19. Any movie you have always wanted to see?
Always? That is a pretty long time. I would have to go back and one day decide to actually watch E.T. Yes, That’s right! I have never watched E.T. And now, even though I am interested in seeing the movie, I have to go through life not seeing it. It is a mission now.

20. Am I forgiven about the doughnut debacle from Sunday? They aren’t even real doughnuts!
Of course. Still I was surprised you did not mention them earlier. They are quite tasty.

To Recap:
More timely post tomorrow
Sorry for the tardiness today
Happy New Year all
Wow, that is a short recap

Back in the Saddle

I can’t say that coming back in to post this week is all that welcomed. It was really nice not posting for a week. Alas and alack, here I am typing up some crap for you schlubs.

I was hoping to make this post a very acerbic one where I sarcasmed (Yes, I just made “Sarcasm” into a verb. What of it?) out a bunch of wit and wisdom. Unfortunately, I think it will be a post bringing everyone out there in the blogospere back up to speed in the life of SRH and fam. These posts are known for their boredom inducing yawns.

First Up: Wifey has an eBay addiction. Well, it is a somewhat controlled addiction to be fair. You see, this year we got Little Man some Tomica World trains for Christmas. The issue is that Tomy trains in the US and UK are only Thomas the Tank Engine trains. Little Man is not too hip on Thomas. You see, Thomas is not a train that he even remotely has the opportunity to see when we go watch the railroads. Thomas is some freaky thing from a show with bad voice over. Tomy’s US train selection was not always this way. In the past Tomy Trains actually included an Amtrak diesel and other “real world” trains.

Here comes the eBay addiction… Wifey was intent determined obsessed with acquiring some non-Thomas trains for the boy. The only non-Thomas engines being sold in the US were associated with eBay auctions. The issue is that she cannot handle the stress of the online bidding process and therefore makes me do it. She makes me do it while asking me every 30 minutes where things sit with the auctions and what the bid is up to even if there are 3 days left in the auction. We won a couple of auctions and now Little Man is replete with non-Thomas trains. We also ordered some trains from Japan as well. It is just how Wifey rolls.

Second Up: Christmas was very good to me this year. I got good amounts new clothes and some new shoes, but the wonderfulness Christmas-wise showed up in the form of music. I got $50 worth of iTunes, an iPod dock for work, and one of those FM tuner iPod thingies for the car. It took me less than an hour to burn through the $50. Arctic Monkeys, Arcade Fire, the Aquabats!, Mutemath, and various other artists now grace my iPod nano with their dulcet tones. Thanks to Karen for the musical recommendations. So far they have all worked out swimmingly.

Third Up: Turns out Wifey has been holding out on me. We have been married for over 10 years, and dating for coming up on 14 years. She knows my likes and dislikes. She knows me better than I know myself most of the time. She really is my heart’s joy and the soul of our relationship. That being said, she also has been harboring a hideous secret from me for the entirety of our relationship. You see, yesterday I found out that she has had a quick way to make doughnuts… DOUGHNUTS!!!! QUICKLY!!! And she has denied me this information for the bulk of our relationship (I define bulk of our relationship as 5015/5016ths or .999800… ).

Why would she deny me the bliss of fried dough when I so dearly love it… WHY!?!?!?!

To recap:
Little Man made out like a robber baron of yore
Happy New Years to everyone
Staying at home to celebrate
Not that I do not have invitations to parties
I am popular like that
Multiple invites
No, really
I have decided to not play favorites and grace any party with my presence
I am nothing if not a benevolent deity
Actually, since Wifey is in bed by 10 pm every night it makes more sense to stay home
I do need to get me some New Year’s snacks though
Mmmmmm New Year’s snacks
20 Questions tomorrow

Digital Thursday

Okay, there is this show on Nick Jr. that is absolutely fun. Yo Gabba Gabba is a throwback show to the kids’ shows of my youth. It is like Electric Company on steroids. Associated with its good clean camp fun are some good messages for kids. The show has pretty high production values for its stuff, but has enforced a cheap aesthetic on the set and costumes. The animations are pretty colorful and slick while the costumes on the characters have visible zippers and the like. It is an odd blend to say the least.

It is an odd assortment of characters on screen and chock full of wondrous music. The bands that have been on this show are all pretty well followed bands in their own right on the indy scene. Most of the bands have cult followings of their own. The Aquabats!, The Aggrolites, The Salteens, Supernova, and Leslie Hall to name a non-exhaustive list of the guests that have appeared just on the segment called the Super Music Friends Show.
Now, a while back ago Marvel Comics came out with their "Ultimate Universe." It was supposed to be the gritty more realistic version of the current Marvel Universe. In doing so they updated a bunch of the the story lines to be more "current." The heroes are now flawed and many of the villains have become more sympathetic.

Anyway... an idea hit my whilst in the shower about a week ago. What would an Ultimate Yo Gabba Gabba look like...

I still need to work more on the background.

From left to right I give you DJ Lance, Plex, Muno, Toodee, Foofa (hovering), and Brobee

I really didn't keep good track of the time this took. I would say that there is about 2 hours per character though. Initial sketches were done by hand on a sketch pad, then I scanned those sketches in and did all the final work in Photoshop.

To Recap:
Sorry this is so late
Yo Blogga Blogga is the show's official blog
I had a boatload to do at work today
You know with the consuming of free food and all
This auction needs to go big!
That's right it is ksig from commenting fame probably 2 years ago
Give the man some love
Buy his signature
Steal his identity
I am going to take the week off from blogging next week
It’s the holidays
I am sure to regale you with tales of holiday cheer and such when I come back
Yes, I will even post on New Year’s Day
Cheers
Have a great weekend everyone and a great week and the following weekend as well

Meeting Hell

The company’s holiday hootnanny is this afternoon from 3:30pm to 5:30 pm. There will be cake, cookies, and juice. It is like I am in grade-school again except they aren’t letting us out early for the holiday. It will be a nice time for the owners of the company to feel like they are giving something back to the little guy.

I mentioned this before, but lately I have been getting a shit ton of hits associated with a craptastic jpeg image I posted of Theodore from the Chipmunks a year ago. Most likely the hits are somehow associated with the new movie coming out. Anyway, the image is absolutely horrid in resolution. I have done a vector version for all you rabid fans out there. I will also place this version next to the other when I get home tonight.

I have been in meeting hell all day long. Now I am back at my desk and I have stuff that needs to get done and it is friggin hot. I am not wearing the clothes necessary to take a layer off, so I am sweltering here. Anyway… I have another meeting to get to.

To recap:
Hippos are the 3rd largest animal on land
An adult male hippo can weigh as much as 7000lbs but usually weight 5000lbs
That is 3175 kg at max and 2268kg typically
Or 15,875,730 carats at max or 11,339,810 carats typically
Or 500 stones max or 357 stones typically
Or 3.5 tons max and 2.5 tons typical
Hippos are the closest living land animals to whales and dolphins
They can hold their breath for about 5 minutes
The hippo's yawn is not a sign of sleepiness or boredom but is actually a threat gesture, displaying long, thick, razor-sharp canine teeth, or tusks, with which it is capable of biting a small boat in half
Hippos can open their mouths a whopping 150°
Hippos have killed more than 400 people in Africa
That is more than any other animal in Africa
Hippos have a “T” shaped pupil which allows them to see both above and below the water at the same time
Hippos always charge in a straight line
They are too large to maneuver at high speeds

20 Questions Tuesday: 72 - Holiday Season Part 1

Ah, the holiday season. Maybe I should type it “The Holiday Season.” Whatever. Anyway… what makes you think more about holidays than the holiday season? “Nothing,” that’s what I say!

So in honor of the holiday season, the 20 Questions Tuesday topic will be “The Holiday Season” for this week and next! Excited? Me too!

Thanks this week go to Dustin, ACW, Lord Pithy, and Themikestand.

Onto the questions:
1. Fruit cake: Is it really that bad?
It is worse than you know.

2. Egg nog: Is it really that good?
It is better than you can imagine.

3. Are you or Wifey a better wrapper of presents?
Wifey is by far the better gift wrapperer.

4. Dumbest Christmas gift you’ve ever received?
Hmmm… I have had some pretty bad ones. I will go with a green vinyl table cloth that wreaked of pipe smoke.

5. What’s the deal with stockings, anyway?
I know, they bunch and they run, and there is no way of wearing them without getting a sweaty crotch… you meant by the chimney, didn’t you? Umm… let’s forget I ever typed this.

6. Its important to have your own traditions - what would be one SRH-household tradition?
I will give you 2 for the price of 1.
Tradition the First: Christmas Eve we give each other one gift, and that gift is always some comfy sleepwear.

Tradition the Second: We have cinnamon rolls for breakfast Christmas Day.

7. Flocked or unflocked Christmas tree?
Flocks of Christmas Trees! Oh, God! It’s Happening. Get the saws, get the torches. We have to stop the Christmas Trees…

Wait, let me re-read that… flocked… unflocked… tree? I will go with unflocked.

8. Do carolers sing through your neighborhood?
Not good ones. Good = sober, Mimma!

9. What color are your favorite holiday lights (I like the blue ones)
I like green ones, but Wifey is all about the clear. Guess what color the lights are on our tree?

10. Have you been to The Train Station on Indianola? worth a visit?
It is okay. The really good thing about the place is that they carry some of the Wittle Wooden stuff that Little Man loves so much.

11. It's the holiday season, so whoop-de-do, or dickory dock?
Dickory dock

12. As a practicing Wiccan, do you find it hypocritical to encourage your child to sit on a stranger's knee in public?
Wiccans have no issue with stranger knee sitting.

13. What's the best gift you could ever hope to give anyone?
Perspective

14. Star or angel?
Star

15. Wrapping paper: mylar or wood pulp?
Shiny pressed wood pulp variety

16. What is your earliest Christmas memory?
Hmmm… I don’t remember much prior to what I have deemed the childhood home, and we moved there when I was four, soooo… I think it was getting a bendy Godzilla. I loved that thing.

17. Describe your perfect Christmas, right down to the weather outside, the dinner, and all those in attendance.
There is not time nor space to describe the nuanced Christmas of which you want me to envision. Suffice it to say, everyone there is in matching hats.

18. How old where you when found out the real deal about Santa?
I am not sure. In many ways I never truly latched on to the concept. I am sure I “believed” in it, but the idea was a bit ludicrous to me even as a wee one. I do remember that when the fact was “revealed” I thought something like “well, that makes more sense.”

19. Not wholly unrelated to the previous question, what do YOU think Santa really wants instead of milk and cookies?
Cheesecake and eggnog but I don't expect children to stay up the night before and make cheesecake. Cheesecake is difficult.

20. What is the latest that you've ever performed your Christmas shopping for Wifey's present?
Uh, I am not at liberty to say. You know she reads this, right? What kind of trouble are you trying to get me in?


To recap:
Little Man’s Christmas Concert thingy was today
He didn’t focus so much on his nose this time
That was positive
There were other issues that happened, but I will not go into them here
Unless they were picked up by the DVD videographer
Our street is getting new sanitary sewer stuff today
Whoopee!
That means we have to park far far away from the house
Far far away from the house does not make SRH happy
I think I will post in third person tomorrow
It will boost my ego

Chivalry

So Friday night the fam decided to go to dinner at a local Bar-B-Que place. We figured that since Mimma was attached to a walker due to her knee surgery a restaurant with only 1 step would be a good idea. The meal came and it was delightful. I had a pulled pork sandwich, Wifey, a Bar-B-Que salad, Little Man had a Hamburger, and Mimma worked on some ribs. A delightful meal indeed. The meal was over and it was time for the fam to go its separate ways. Mimma was going to her house, much to Little Man’s chagrin, and the rest of us were going to our house. Fairly mundane stuff.

Mimma parked on the opposite side of the restaurant so we parted inside and headed to our respective cars. Once we got outside, Wifey said to me, “Hey, it’s a Friday night and since my mom is using a walker she is pretty vulnerable right now. I am going to go walk her to her car.”

“Sure thing, Honey.” I replied without so much another thought. I had Little Man’s hand and we were both trekking to our car a few rows of vehicles away. We get to the car, and I buckle Little Man’s seat belt and think, “Did I just send my pregnant little wife to ‘protect’ somebody? Because, you know, she's kind of an easy mark as well being all small and pregnant... at the same time.”

I am quite the chivalrous fellow.

To recap:
A shit-ton of people have been hitting the blog looking for images of Theodore from the Chipmunks
It must be due to the new movie coming out
/shudder
Tomorrow is Little Man’s Christmas Hootnanny at preschool
There will be cookies
I know this because Wifey and Little Man are making them right now
The Wendy’s Chili experiment mentioned on Thursday’s post was a success
Wow, tasted just like Wendy’s chili
And did it make a lot
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions is about the holiday season

Digital Thursday

Oh, Thursday, where would I be without you? On today’s installment of Digital Thursday I will be demonstrating the card making process for the Christmas card this year, as well as giving a full scale representation of the fine fine Christmas card for the year.

The process starts out with a color digital picture which I process to be like a black and white picture. I mask out Little Man and then darken the background to establish a stronger figure/ground relationship. I copy and paste the blocked out Little Man and make him only 50% opaque (this reduces his saturation and makes it look like the black and white image has been tinted). Finally I distort a scan of an ultrasound print to fit where the TV currently is. Viola! Picture for the Christmas card. QED

Here is the card in all its glory.


To recap:
I wish it were snowing today instead of this crappy rain
Next week’s Digital Thursday should be a blast
This is rather unfortunate
I could soooo easily fall asleep at my desk right now
I won’t, but I could
I just want everyone to know that
I think we are going to attempt to re-create Wendy’s Chili this weekend for Little Man
He has expressed interest in making some chili
Mimma cannot help but make her chili blisteringly spicey
Wifey and I are not huge chili fans
Aiming for Wendy’s Chili seems to be the correct course
Seriously though, does anyone know what a mummy does after it has exacted revenge?
Have a great weekend everyone

Two Questions I Cannot Answer

I cannot get the fervor up to fever pitch anymore to write down a good and truly heartfelt rant, a rant that both smacks of snark and lambastes with bile. I have started a couple of rants the past few weeks and then half way through decided that I didn’t really feel that vehemently against the current story arc present in Heroes Season 2 or the lack of mainstreamed new enduring music. I would get just to the point of frothing at the mouth and decide, that I really didn’t care that much anyway. With touches of ambivalence, the impetus for a good rant dies the slow agonizing death of “Meh.”

It is truly a bizarre phenomenon indeed. I can usually get my ire in a lurch to spout vitriol about a topic with the merest external urge. One could say, “Did you see how X interacted with Y?” and I would be impelled to respond with a four paragraph soliloquy deriding them for asking me a dreaded word problem without first defining X and Y. I would rant passionately about things I didn’t care about. I could fill pages with odd analogy, poorly coined phrases, and insipid puns about dark vs. light toast. I could generate scathing witticisms that were like fingernails on the chalkboard of discourse, but that seems to be gone…

Has the fire in my belly, a fire fiercer than 1000 suns, a conflagration hot enough to separate the hydrogen from oxygen in water to create more fuel, an inferno of unparallelled thermal dynamism, has that fire truly cooled off? Have I become too holistic in my observances to laser in on one aspect and deny the bigger picture? Have I nurtured my abilities of understanding other reasons for motivation too much, such that now I cannot stand on a box for soap and extol my opinion’s virtues while denigrating the existence of other opinions?

What does this mean for my future? I cannot help but let you readers know that I am scared. Not scared like, “Am I gonna die?” More scared like, “When I open this jug, will the milk be smelly?” but it is fear nonetheless. Two questions come to mind when my idle mind wanders aimlessly in this direction. Question 1: Is this just a temporary set back in my ranting ways? Question 2: Is the ability to become enraged by minutia and convey said ire in the form of an acerbic diatribe necessary for my continued existence? Question 2a: Can I truly be the me that I know and love without the ability to rant poetic? That is a question I cannot answer.

To recap:
The Christmas card is coming along nicely
A few text edits here and there and it will be complete
Then all that is left is the physical production
Stuffing the envelopes
Labeling
And Mailing
See? Easy peasy lemon squeezie
What motivates a risen from the dead mummy after the revenge is meted out?
I mean the sole reason for a mummy returning from the dead is to exact revenge on those who have desecrated his final resting place
That is another question I cannot answer

20 Questions Tuesday: 71 - Times 2

It is Tuesday again, so we all know what that means… I will bore the tears out of you by half answering actual questions. Without further delay, Time part 2. Thanks this week to Allrileyedup, Belsum, JW, and Peefer.

On to the questions:

1. Which song makes better use of the word "time" -- Hazy Shade of Winter or Turn, Turn, Turn? or do you have another song in mind?
As far as Time lyrics go, I would have to go with Turn, Turn, Turn.

2. Do you always wear a watch or never wear a watch, or are you one of those in between people?
I used to always wear a watch, but since the battery died on my last watch (an expensive Swiss Army Watch from Wifey which I don't wear now much to her chagrin) I just have not worn one. I use my dilapidated cell instead.

3. What is your favorite time of day?
It is actually at night. I like the time between 10 pm and 1 am.

4. What is little man's favorite time of day?
Hmmm… I would have to say around 3 in the afternoon, but I am just guessing here.

5. Did you enjoy Run, Lola, Run? how would you say this movie approaches the concept of "time"?
I am loathe to admit this, because it will lose me even more intellectual street cred, but I haven’t seen it.

6. How is the Little Man’s concept of time?
He is starting to get a pretty good grasp of the concept.

7. How old were you when you were conscious of the year and dates? Who was president?
Hmmm, I am not sure. Prolly around 4 or 5.

8. How relevant is Time now in the age of blog journalism? Does anyone care about their “Person” of the Year anymore?
Since their “Person of the Year” has been pretty lame as of late, That aspect is not really all that relevant anymore. That being said, I think there will always be a place for paid journalism, I do not think that Time and Newsweek will be the 800lb gorilla anymore, but they will still be relevant.

9. How much time do you borrow?
About 30%

10. Do you have any time in a bottle?
Not anymore, I sold it for some lightning

11. How do you think you will cope with the fact that time will soon become irrelevant upon the arrival of your second child?
Time will become more important and less available, not so much irrelevant.

12. Where can I find out more about time travel?
The future has some really good books on how it works. You should go there and check some of them out.

13. Oh, and speaking of time travel, would you keep the flux capacitor in a DeLorean, or put it in something else?
Probably a H3. You need the extra bulk incase you land in a space that is unpaved.

14. O.k. Last time travel question. Would you rather go forward, or backward in time?
Probably backward. I would be able to prepare… I almost feel like I have answered this question before…

15. All total, would you say you've spent more time in front of a t.v., or a computer screen?
Computer screen... Easily

16. Is time on your side?
Yes, it is

17. Does time stand still?
In some instances, or course it does.

18. My mother-in-law's name is Rosemary. Do you have relatives with herby names?
My monther’s maiden name is Savory. Does that count?

19. Do you enjoy 5/4 time or 7/4 time? If so, in which songs?
I am leaning towards 5/4 because of Radiohead’s 15 Step. Who doesn't like all things Radiohead? 7/4 seems to be heavily leaned upon by the Beatles.

20. Do you have a clue which Canadian band I am referencing in question #17?
Nope, I am truly ‘Mercan


To recap:
Looks like we will be having Little Man friendly pizza tonight
I shall be having a frozen pizza after he’s in bed
That’s how I roll
Christmas card is almost done
Not much else of note today
Other than I am tired, but you already know that
You do know that, right?
The fonts I went with are “The King & The Queen” and “Freestyle Script”
Cheers

Three Things

Every year Wifey demands that I make our Christmas/Holiday cards pretty much from scratch. There are sooo many things that go into the proper creation of Christmas/Holiday cards that I have to keep floating around in my head. There are a myriad of questions that need to be answered. How subtle should the holiday message be? Should I get a pic of the family wearing matching sweaters and matching grimaces? Why won’t Wifey leave me alone and let me play some more World of Warcraft? This post is about three things that one must keep in mind when creating their own Christmas/Holiday cards.


Thing the First: What size will the card be and what format? Is it a post card format? Will it be a bi-fold, a tri-fold, a bi-fold with and insert, a single sided with an attachment? There are questions that have to be answered. Typically I am not allowed to make this decision.


Thing the Second: Fewer things are harder to find in the world than a good font for a Christmas card. It needs to not be boring yet be legible but not too frilly and still festive but without being ostentatious while maintaining a certain level of decorum. It truly is a delicate balance. Along with a more standard font here are the fonts in the running:


Thing the Third: Printing is an issue. What media? On photo paper, matte cardstock, parchment, heavy linen, blah blah blah.

Sure there are other questions, like who the heck should get these, but those question are answered by higher powers than me.

To recap:
Card is almost done
Wifey needs to help with the text
But I think it is mostly there
Maybe a topic for Digital Thursday?
Maybe
Shout out to the Mim
She had one of her knees internally cleaned this morning
Much ice has been administered by Little Man
He is good like that
Tomorrow’s 20 Questions Tuesday will again focus on Time

Digital Thursday

It is Digital Thursday and all I have for you fine readers is a couple of half started things. Little Man doesn’t really allow me to spend any significant amount of time in front of a computer painting or really doing anything other than doting on him constantly. He is like that being four and all.

Anyway… here we go with my Batman entry into the Sketch Challenge this week. This is a pencil drawing that has been inked (sometimes sloppily) with a vast array of black Sharpies. I should invest in some microns, and I should invest in some brush-pens. I should invest in the stock market. I should invest in all sorts of stuff, but that is beside the point. Anyway, for what it is worth, Batman.


Okay the hard crits here:
1. What is going on with that cross-hatching?
2. Where are his feet?
3. Would a background kill you?
4. I am not even going to start on the anatomical issues

My intention was to digital up this bad boy for today’s post, but I slept last night instead.

Up next is a “work in progress.” I love me some Godzilla. I mean, what is there not to like? Here is a set of pics to give you some idea of my “digital painting process.”

Step 1: Rough line work

Step 2: Rough color work

Step 3: Refined color work (I have only done his head so far)

I haven’t gotten to steps 4, 5, 6, or 7 yet. I might make those available in the coming weeks.

To recap:
The banana mini muffins were a hit at pre-school today
I successfully fought off a migraine today
Eat that Fluffy!
Had orange rice for dinner
Used ground chicken instead of beef
Made it surprisingly palatable
Another Papa/Little Man day tomorrow
That makes me happy
It also makes my PTO bank a little sad
Have a great weekend everyone

Just a Recap

Nothing to post about today.

To Recap:
I am thirsty
Therefore I drink
Whilst at lunch today the topic of Velma from Scooby Doo came up
You will have to guess as to why.
I finally did put a Batman together for the Sketch Challenge
I will not win said challenge :(
For my Batman skills are not strong
You will get what you get for Digital Thursday
And you will like it?
Little Man got tasked with the snack bucket for his preschool class for tomorrow
Many a mini banana muffin shall be baked tonight
Good lord I am tired
I think snow makes me tired
Cause it was snowing earlier today
And I am near immeasurably tired
In fact I have dozed off at least twice since starting this post
That is not a good sign for the boring ass conference call this afternoon
Caffeine shall be present
In cold liquid form
The people hosting the conference call don’t know why I am supposed to be there
The other participants don’t know why I am supposed to be there
I don’t know why I am supposed to be there
Yet, everyone, save me, insists that I be there
I insist that I be in a bed sleeping
Mmmmm sleeeeep
I slept for crap last night
I am off work tomorrow and Friday for some Papa-Time
Trains will be watched
Oh, yes, trains will be watched
Hopefully Little Man will see some trains in the snow
I have ideas for the Christmas Cards this year
Sadly, I might need a new cell phone soon

What does my reading public think?

20 Questions Tuesday: 70 - Time for a topic

Here we are at 20 Questions Tuesday again. Today’s topic is one that I guess many people just cannot get enough of, Time. This morning when I got into work I had an amazing 45 timely questions waiting for me. So we will have time to look at this next week as well.

Thanks this week go to Dustin, ACW, Lord Pithy, Lsig, and JA Coppinger.

Bring on the questions:

1. Is 9 months a long, or short amount of time?
Yes, and no. It is both an unreachable eternity and an instant. The eternity bit is associated with the waiting, but the instant has to do with the preparing.

2. Does having children, in your experience, make time fly, or go much slower?
It speeds up your perception of time immeasurably. Hey, Dustin, these are fairly focused questions about “time.”

3. Best time travel movie of all time (no, Time Cop with Jean Claude is not an acceptable answer)? Best Time travel show/movie you ever saw?
That’s better. As a kid I could not get enough of Time Bandits. As an adult in 2007 it is just and okay movie to watch, but as a kid in the 80’s it was flipping brilliant.

4. I’m not sure I trust the song…is time really on my side?
Time is fire in which we burn.

5. Morris Day - need I saw more?
Wauk! Halleluiah!

6. I review my daily schedule and the things that I want to accomplish. Why is it only work that I'm willing to abbreviate, but it’s the only item that I have to complete in full? This leaves other more fulfilling items to languish for a later date.
The only way I can accomlish half the crap I WANT to accomplish is through a steady diet of sleep deprivation. Preaching to the choir here.

7. What is the future of the wrist watch?
It becomes a slightly more functional bracelet. Wait, that is what it already is.

8. Time or Life?
Time

9. If you could keep time in a bottle, what's the first thing that you'd like to do? If you could save time in a bottle, what would be the first thing you would like to do? Sell that shit. I could make a mint!

10. If you could make one trip in time, would you go 3,000 years into the past or 3,000 years into the future?
Ummm… by trip you mean “round trip,” right? I think I would go with past. Since I am 6’ 2” (1.87 m) I would be a giant and my immune system should have been inoculated against most bugs of the time, plus there are ways to prepare for a trip to the past. I would be able to know at least a little about the cultures I might encounter, etc… The future has way to many unknowns to make it as safe a trip. Although, if done correctly, the future should at least know that I am coming.

11. Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme. Ummm… no. Other than funnel cakes, I hate fairs.

12. Doris Day or Shirley Temple: who is the greatest female lead of all time?
I would like more options please.

13. If I fall, will you catch me time after time?
I will be waiting.

14. Is there really a time for every purpose under heaven?
Supposedly. Although the list that is given both in song and verse is finite in nature. For example it never mentions if there is a time for downloading porn.

15. Is it really the time of the season for loving?
No that was 11 weeks ago, if you know what I mean wink wink

16. Are you on your way, making it big time?
I’ve got to make it show, yeah.

17. Is time a continuous loop or a series of potential futures? In other words, if you go back in time and kill your own grandfather does reality diverge or does the fact that you aren’t born prevent you from performing the act and reset the timeline to its original state?
If we consider time to be a physics phenomenon, we should think about it much like length, width, and height. It is a plane that is orthogonal to the 3 physical planes and behaves in the same manner. If that is the case, time can behave like any other path thus potentially recycling or bifurcating or coalescing or whatever. What is to say that the reality isn’t already infinitely divergent and convergent.

18. How much time do you spend answering these questions?
About 20 minutes actually answering the questions and another 10 typically formatting the responses and hyper-linking stuff.

19. If you had to pick one day in time to live in forever (ala Groundhog Day) which would it be?
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I watched Groundhog Day, that’s for damn sure. The reciprocal irony would be blinding.

20. Can you explain Time Dilation for us and how it relates to Einstein’s General Theory?
It has to do with speed and relative observations associated with incredibly high rates of speed, and chickens and coffee filters and non-dairy creamer. It is very complicated. Look it is a shadow puppet of a bird!



To recap:
Wifey gets back tomorrow evening
Little Man will be very happy for this
Little Man and I are going to the zoo lights tonight
I need to figure out how to sleep when Wifey is not in town
I am rather tired
India ink is a bitch to clean off your hands
All the Batman pics I drew yesterday evening sucked
Maybe you will have a Godzilla for your Digital Thursday
Or maybe a Thundarr
You never know because I am wily

It's a G thang

Since my falling out with organized Churches in 1996, I have not been exactly keen on the whole Christianity thang. Therefore I have been pleasantly boycotting organized Christianity for the better part of 11 years now. The 4 years previous, I just didn’t go that often, but now it is a full on boycott, and let me tell you, Christianity has truly been feeling the weight behind my boycott. I think it will cave soon. Don’t hate the playah, people. Hate the Game.

Well, in my aversion to churchihood, I have not really been leading Little Man down the path of Christendom. That is to say that I have not really informed him of any dogmatic tradition. This is a point of consternation with Wifey. She feels that Little Man should get a solid grounding in religion and spirituality, and I feel that would only put Little Man in contact with people who use religion as a crutch to feel better about themselves because they aren’t doomed to Hell like those poor bastards that don’t think just like they do and goose-step to the same tune… (editor’s note: Umm… We had to truncate the last rant back to only a few lines. 3 paragraphs of vitriol was deemed to be a bit much. Needless to say, it seems the author has some un-resolved Christianity issues. Thanks – the management)

To make a long story short, because of Little Man’s lack of Christianic exposure, he calls the son of God, “G.” Yep, Jesus has been truncated to “G.” This is something I can completely get behind. It makes prayer much more street. In fact, I would love to see more doctrine modernized to take in the flavor of “G.”

Sermon on the Mount (or the B-attitudes): G was all like,
“Listen Bitches. Props to the Juiceless, for they will get the keys.
“Shout out to the Sad, comfort’s on the way.”
“Shout out to the Meek. BOO! Mother Fucker! Just kiddin’ You guys are gonna do alright…”

To recap:
Wow, Little Man misses Momma in the mornings
So do I, but he gets a bit frustrated at Papa’s morning ineptitude
I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?
That is a rhetorical question
I don’t want your answers
I already know what they are going to be
20 Questions Tuesday will be all about “Time” tomorrow
“Tomorrow” is a human construct that will never actually occur
Words associated with the future sense of time are logically confusing

Digital Thursday

As a kid I loved the cartoon Thundarr the Barbarian. I mean really, what is not to love. It was a show based on a post-apocalyptic Earth with barbarians and weird creatures and technology and magic and Ookla the Mok.


This is a completely digital one that I painted in Photoshop. I think it ended up being seven layers in total. From bottom layer to top: Background color, light effect, Ookla silhouette, Ooklah color, Ooklah eyes, Yellow highlights, and light effect. In total it took about 2 hours to finish. Eventually I would like to add Thundarr and Ariel to it as well.

The year 1994: From out of space comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction. Man's civilization is cast in ruin.

Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn...

A strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil.

He is Thundarr, the Barbarian!*

Anyone who knows anything about the show knows that the only reason to watch the show was Ookla.

To recap:
Wifey leaves on a jet plane early Sunday morning
That makes me sad
I happen to like her
Bunches
She will be back late Wednesday night
In the meantime I will let the house go to Hell in a hand basket
A big enough for a house hand basket
I will get some good lovins from Little Man though, so that will be nice
Next week's Digital Thursday will probably be Batman
Have a great weekend everyone


* There are so many fun things about this intro. In fact, there are too many to go into.


**Update**30November2007
Okay, after doing some checkbook and bill paying stuff last night, Wifey says, "I just wrote a post"
So, she has updated for all of you who have been waiting patiently as well as impatiently
She, of course, waiting until I was done posting for the week to post
She is like that
She is also traveling for most of next week
Followed closely by a training the rest of the week
So don't expect another post for a but as well

TALENT

Little Man has a future in television. I know. I know. Many many parents out there think that their kid is perfect for being a star. Honestly, I have no idea whether Little Man would be star material or not. I also know many a parent thinks their kid is soooo cute that they just have to be on TV or in movies. This is not what I am talking about today (although Little Man is dreadfully cute). Little Man has a future in a very particular niche in the television acting world.

Little Man would be perfect for infomercials. Sadly, he is not verbal enough to be the spokesperson or the sales guy. His attention span wanders too easily for him to be the attentive cohost listening to the salesguy. Little Man would be perfect for a different yet vital role in the infomercial industry. Little Man would be the absolute best at demonstrating how difficult, nay! how impossible it is to accomplish every day tasks without whatever the heck the infomercial was hocking. He could be one of the 5 examples of how difficult it is to do something the traditional way.

When Little Man doesn’t want to do something, he will half-heartedly and clumsily bring himself to abject failure at the task at hand. He then looks at you with exasperation and shrugs his shoulders as if to say, “I don’t know how you can expect me to put on my socks. It is incredibly too hard – difficult to the point of completely unattainable – for me to accomplish on my own.”

He will find it amazingly impossible to put toys into the conventional toy box… which is why You should get your frustrated child the new Toy Receptacle 4020 with the rapid toy loading feature…

He has nothing to grab onto to pull his sock over his foot… which is why you need the Incredible Sock Puller to assist with those hard to grasp sock emergencies.

He couldn’t possibly be able to get his feet in those shoes… well at least not without the Shoehorninator. The Shoehorninator is designed for helping get feet in those hard-to-get-feet-into shoes.

I wish I had video of his self-enforced ineptitude


To Recap:
I am tired
I think I have tomorrow’s Digital Thursday piece ready
It is snazzy
In a sort of retro 1980’s way
A retro 1980’s sort of way that does not include anything Reaganomical
There is no such thing as Trickle Down Digital Art
At least one should not Google that phrase
I haven’t, but I am scared at what it would return
The Intertubes is a scary place
A scary scary place

20 Questions Tuesday: 69 - No Topic

So, I am a bit tapped on topics for 20 Questions Tuesday and have decided not to have a topic for today. Basically it is a 20 Questions Free-for-All. I got questions coming at me from all sides here.

Thanks this week go to Nadolny, Dustin, Lord Pithy, and ACW. On to the questions!


1. Of you standard 20 questions submitters, what is their demographics? (i.e. friends, coworkers, family, coworkers who are friends, etc...)
This is an interesting question. I typically send out the call for questions to around 20 people. Of those 20 people, I have actually met 10. 14 are male. 10 have kid/s. (as far as I know) 6 would be considered to be older than me (more than 5 years), 3 would be considered younger (more than 5 years), and the rest would be considered to be right around the same age (within 5 years). 2 are non-US residents, but all my current questioneers are from North America. I guess I should let folk know who would like to be questioneers to email me via the email in my profile.

2. The war in Iraq, better covered by CNN, BBC or the Daily Show?
At this point? The Daily Show

3. If hippos were a different color, would they be easier to hunt? (I can see the picture now).
That depends on the color.

4. Why 20 Questions? I mean, as a self proclaimed lazy bastage, wouldn't ten be easier?
20 Questions has a cultural connotation because of the game called “20 Questions.” I should make my first question each week, “Is it bigger than a breadbox?”

5. Seeing as I am also lazy, I refuse to give you a fifth question today.
Completely understandable.

6. New Iron Man movie coming out with Robert Downey Jr.: Should I get my hopes up?
Well, let’s see. Tony Stark (Iron Man) is a super-rich guy with substance abuse issues. However will Robert Downy Jr relate? It could be good. I am keeping myself from going all fanboy on it though, I have been burned before.

7. Stuffing or Mashed Potatoes, which is superior?
Mashed Potatoes for the everyday consumption, yet stuffing can be excellent on occasion. 2 out of 3 falls to mashed potatoes.

8. What is the difference between smashed and mashed potatoes?
Smashed potatoes rarely have any extra liquid added to them to smooth them out. They tend to have more of the potato-y texture to them. Mashed potatoes typically try to not be lumpy.

9. Is it wrong that I think that people who say “smashed” potatoes are inferior to me?
Yes, it is wrong. Merely saying smashed potatoes does not indicate preference. If they choose smashed potatoes over mashed… be my guest in your feelings of superiority.

10. My wife made Lefse this weekend and I tried to put chocolate syrup on it. She reacted by calling me a “black hole of cultural respect” and threatened to not let me have any ice cream for a week. Was my infraction really so great?
Dude, potato based products should not come into contact with chocolate. Huge faux pas. Should have gone with peanut butter or jelly (but not both). I am surprised you are still married.

11. Why am I here?
Because you cannot be there.

12. If pressed, what argument would you put forth in support of "Unintelligent Design" (without referring to question No. 11)?
Ummm... the only other outstanding empirical “Unintelligent Design” proof I can think of is little old me.

13. If you awoke one Kafka morning to find your mouth and nose had been replaced with an owl's beak, how would your day be any different?
Depends, if I looked like this:

I would want to kill more Night Elves than usual, I understand you did not mention antlers, but I am taking creative license here. Otherwise, it would just make brushing my teeth unnecessary.

14. Mississippi mud: treat, or eco-disaster?
I am going to go with dessert treat. The other stuff can be referred to as silt.

15. What is your favorite word to type?
It is a tie between “banana” and “Canada,” and “anananananaananananana”

16. Surprises - any knock-your-socks-off ones recently? The pregnancy probably wasn't a complete shock so don't use that one.
Not that I can think of.

17. What is mauve?
Mauve is in the purple family of colors. It is very close to a pink in color. So it is a pink tinged light purple.

18. Any holiday contact from Capt. McArmypants?
A couple of emails. I need to respond to him.

19. Any on-line purchases as part of Cyber-Monday?
Nope

20. Are you still in the barrel with Little Man?
Okay, first off let me define “in the barrel.” In this instance, “in the barrel” means the person whom Little Man wants to spend every waking moment with if possible. At the moment, it is starting to equalize. Wifey is in the barrel sometime. I am in the barrel sometimes. Mimma is in the barrel sometimes. It just depends on his mood.



To recap:
I am feeling rather uninspired today
Wifey and I just got back from the OB
Tootsa is developing nicely
Capt. McArmypants wants us to refer to the unborn one as Voltron
I told him we would if it were quints
I am now afraid he will want us to refer to the unborn as Tranzor Z
He is a bastard like that
I might have mentioned this before
If so, whoops
If not, yea!