Getting all political

I usually do not weigh in on politics and/or political happenings. I find that political discussions tend to bring out the absolute worst in people. There are three types of political conversations that can occur. The first two are the most common. Conversation Type the First is when people agree with each other. These political conversations tend to turn mean-spirited very quickly and devolve into attacks against other viewpoints. Basically it is almost a series of one-upmanship of who can make fun of the opposition more.

Conversation Type the Second is when people do not agree with each other. Perfectly sane people will devolve into mouth-foaming wing-nuts when presented with opposing view points. Political discussions often rapidly devolve from the ivory tower position for or against something into personal attacks often culminating into attacks on previous political decisions and family lineage. That is one of the big reasons I don’t like political conversations.

Conversation Type the Third is when one or more of the conversation participants is apathetic. The conversation gets no where and at least one person leaves the conversation wondering why they just wasted their time.

So, I do not want to get into an alternate to my stance bashing session (a la Conversation Type the First), or a personal attack argument (a la Conversation Type the Second), or a waste of my time (a la Conversation Type the Third), and that is why I stay out of political topics.

Not today though. Today I will wade fearlessly into the political slush that is today’s blogosphere. I know you are thinking that with all of the primaries going on and how active the political landscape has been lately with primary season on around us that I will be posting something about whom I would endorse if asked. Well, I am not touching that crap with a ten foot pole. That shyte is a volatile morass of explodihood. “What are you going to get all political about then?” you ask.

Well, I think it is about time that I finally allowed my bile to spew forth considering the MLB Steroid abuse issues. WTF?!?! WHY IS CONGRESS EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!? Seriously people? What is the point? Are there not enough real governmental issues going on to deal with? Aren’t there poor folk, rich folk, old folk, disabled folk, minority folk, white folk, military folk, foreign folk, etc… that need decisions made about actual budgetary and legislative stuff? Shouldn’t congress be battling with each other about who gets what and how much? What does Congress care if some ball players are suping it up? How is this internal MLB matter of any interest to the United States Congress? WTH!?!?! Will there be a national law against steroid use in professional sports when this is over? Why are they wasting my money on this?!?

Hey, MLB! Take care of your own shit. Come up with a steroid policy. MLB Players Union, stop doping and grow up. Congress, get back to governmental stuff! And quit wasting my money.

To recap:
Not sure what will be for dinner tonight
We need to get the counter tops in place prior to the sink being installed
Added a feed to the site
I should see my readership just going through the roof now
Many have asked for a feed for a long time now
Many = 1 or 2
I am starting to see the light at the end of my own personal illness tunnel
Hopefully there will be some gym-time in my near future

20 Questions Tuesday: 79 - Time to get Ill

Well, since I was out for a good part of last week, this week’s 20 questions are all about “Ill.” (not the state of Illinois though, that is a different 20 Questions)

Thanks this week go to Lsig, Sparky, Belsum, Dustin, Peefer, JW, Allrileyedup, and Atmikha.

On to the questions:

1. a: How sick do you have to be before you take medicine (in other words, do you take something at the first sign, or do you try to tough it out)? b: How sick do you have to be before you stay home from work? c: How many times have an illness/"illness" caused you to call off work? d: How sick do you have to be to go to the doctor?
a: not very sick to take meds to reduce symptoms via meds
b: I have to be pretty ill to not try to make it in. Basically I have to be sick enough that I cannot treat the symptoms effectively. This usually means a significant fever.
c: hmmm… maybe a handful of time including the day and a half from last week
d: To actually see a medical professional, the illness has to either be insanely acute or amazingly persistent.

2. Are rest, fluids and good nutrition the most effective way to cure most illnesses, or is it really to blast the pathogens with the pure chemical cocktail of Sprite, Dayquil and Top Ramen?
I believe the better answer of those choices is “rest, fluids, and good nutrition.” Had you added “youth” to “Sprite, Dayquil, and Top Ramen” that answer would have won.

3. Who copes with being sick better, you or Wifey?
We have vastly different coping strategies and vastly different coping tolerances for different symptoms. Truly there is not an easy decision of whose better? Who’s best?

4. There are many horrifying diseases out there. Which one would you try to avoid the most?
Ebola or really any of the hemorrhagic fevers

5. What's your favorite thing to do on a sick day - when you're home, alone, and sick?
Sleep. (and you could have left off “and sick?” in the criteria.)

6. What's the first sign that you're feeling better? For me, it's when I have the urge to bake something. Isn't that odd?
My first sign is usually wanting to get out of the house for no necessary reason (medicine, food, etc…), and I think baking is an odd response to wellness, but not odd like flying a kite at night odd.

7. Who is more ill, Eddie Vedder or LL Cool J?
Ummm… Let’s just say that the Ladies Love Cool James cause he is one ill mutha.

8. Autoimmune is the body attacking itself. Why would the body do that? Is the body completely crazy?
I have often wondered if my body was completely crazy… I am not sure you need to add fuel to this fire.

9. What are your feelings about every vice – from smoking cigarettes to playing poker – being labeled a “disease” these days?
Well, in some instances it makes sense. If the behavior is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain then it is a disease not much unlike diabetes and should be considered and medicated as such, but sometimes people go a bit far and take conscious decision out of the equation. People need to at least take responsibility for the parts of their actions that they are responsible for. Wanting to gamble could be a chemical imbalance, but buying a ticket to Vegas is a decision.

10. What will happen when we somehow manage to start passing cholera via e-mail?
A Pandemic that likes of which has never before been seen.

11. Ever had food poisoning?
Yep, some bad shrimp… really bad… uuuuggh

12. Does Wifey try and push crazy cure-alls on you when you’re sick? KJ does. Things like “zinc” and “vitamin C.” I tell her to take her pagan practices elsewhere.
Wifey is a happy medium when it comes to medicinal stuff. She is not all about over medicating, but is not against medicine playing a role.

13. Who is the ill in thrill?
I’ll put the “ill” in “thrill.” Of course then it will be “thri’ll”

14. In your lifetime, do you think we will see a pandemic as wide swept and as rapid as the bubonic plague? If so, what are you going to do about it?
I think that a pandemic is always possible, but I studied natural hazards in college, so I am biased. As for what I can do? I shall endeavor to wash my hands more often.

15. Generally, is sinusitis really a fungal-based invasion misunderstood for a bacterial infection?
If one describes the sinuses as a cave system and fungus as mushrooms, then yes.

16. Name the 5 "illest" rappers of all time (In your book)
Delivery: Eminem
Longevity: LL Cool J
Bad Assery: 50 Cent
Smooth: Snoop Dogg
Message: KRS-ONE
Beastie Boys get an honorable mention

17. Exactly what time is "time to get ill"?
3:39 bitches!

18. Any thoughts on chicken noodle soup? (does it work? do you make it? blah blah blah)
Number 1: Doesn’t do a damn thing for the soul
Number 2: Campbell’s Condensed? Bleck in a can
Number 3: Works no better than any other thin broth soup
Number 4: I make cream of tomato ‘cause I am a bad ass
Number 5: Yep, a bad ass.

19. Are you ever so sick that Boohbah become surprisingly "not-so-weird"?
I like that show and it is frikking weird. I am not sure there is a sickness level appropriate for that kind of delusion to be “not-so-weird.”

20. Do you eat spaghetti when you're sick? (I honestly don't know why I thought to ask you this, but it's making me laugh a lot right now)
Glad to have helped, but spaghetti is a soon after sickness meal due to ease of creation.


To recap:
Just went baby shopping with Wifey
Ummm… shifting one’s mind to girl’s clothes is difficult
Laundry needs to be done tonight
Much cleaning needs to be done actually
Jimmy cracked corn and I DO care
That bastard’s gotten away with cracking corn for the last time
I mean it
I need more sleep, but who doesn’t?

Mea Culpa and 2 things

So last week didn’t end quite how we had hoped it would end. On Tuesday of last week, major demolitions to one wall were conducted in the kitchen remodel. Dust went everywhere. We stayed at the hoose Tuesday evening, but Wifey and Little Man’s breathing determined that staying at Mimma’s house was necessary Wednesday and possibly Thursday . Wednesday afternoon rolls around and both Wifey and I feel like burnt monkey asses. We initially attribute this feeling to the dust inhalation, but later on we realize it is because we are ILL. We contaminated Mimma’s house until late Thursday evening and sickened our own residence for the rest of the weekend.

It was a bizarre illness because it would come in waves. Wifey would be out of commission for a bit and then it was my turn. Fever, sinus stuff, and sore throat… you know, burnt monkey assery. I did not feel like I got on top of it until Sunday night at about 9 pm. Little Man is still in the midst of it, and it seems like Wifey might be on the mend.

Whilst staying at Mim’s I was unable to post because her house is curiously cut-off from civilization. You see, she lives in a mythical house that does not have cable tv or a connection to the Internets. Not to mention that the she cannot receive the network channels due to static interference. It is a curious place.

What the above three paragraphs boil down to is the reasoning behind the lack of posting last week.

Two more things.

Thing the first: the BIG train show was this weekend. Little Man and I medicated ourselves up and went to the show. A few observances of the festivities.

There were a couple of the model train layouts that were not working. I have trouble with this lack of train movement. This is THE biggest train show event for the area annually and you have trains idle on the tracks? That makes no sense. Go to Plan B if your super de-dooper computerized controlling system isn’t working. There are kids here that want to see trains moving.

I got really tired of the overweight 50 to 60 year old white guys announcing how much better this was than video games because you are actually watching something real happen. If model train hobbies were more active hobbies I might be okay with the disgust that you hold to mere video games, but you are still in your basement being rather sedentary. Well done. You and gamers could get into wheezing contests and tie. Your high horse is in the basement and malnourished, so get off of it.

Whilst being directed by my 4.5 year old, I got interviewed by the local paper about the event. Seven minutes of conversation led to 4 lines in the Sunday Metro Section. That’s us at the end of the article.

Thing the second:
Conversation with Little Man:
LM: Papa
Me: Yes?
LM: Papa
Me: Yes, Sweetie?
LM: Papa, you know what?
Me: What’s that, Big Guy?
LM: I don’t like… I don’t like… I don’t like…
Me: What don’t you like, Little Man?
LM: I don’t like… mean people and diarrhea.

To recap:
Mean people suck
So does diarrhea
Supposedly getting the stove hooked up today
It will be nice being able to cook at home again
Goodness I am tired

20 Questions Tuesday: 78 - Remodeling

This week’s 20 Questions Tuesday deals with remodeling. Since we are in the thick of a major kitchen remodel, it only seems reasonable to seek and answer questions concerning this particularly life interfering task?

Thanks this week go to Dustin, Ex-Tree Monkey, Sassyfrass (aka Nadolny), and JimmyLegs.

On to the questions:
1. How does one become “handy?” I was going to ask how one becomes a handy man, but I’m didn’t want to risk any easy jokes about my love of clothes and effeminate gestures.
One becomes handy purely out of necessity. Home ownership will do that to you.

2. Is it wrong that KJ and I can’t even fix a broken drawer (broken in that it keeps jumping off its tracks)?
I like how you lumped KJ in there with you… very chivalrous. It really depends on what repairs the drawer needs to make it consistently work properly. If it is a matter of just re-setting the drawer on the rails… judgements might be rendered.

3. When working of said remodeling project, do you and Wifey have separate tasks, or do you try and do things as a team? If the answer is “team” – has this ever resulted in the phrase “FINE!! Fix is yourself Bob Villa !!” and then someone storming out of the room?
Wifey is not terribly informed as to whom Bob Villa is aside from the Sears gimmick tool commercials.

4. Countertops: Granite or other?
Other. Granite is soooo 2002

5. Is asking for magnetic drill bits for my birthday a lame request?
I would find the usefulness of drill bits whose sole purpose was to drill into magnets a bit underwhelming. Unless, of course, these drill bits could drill into the magnetosphere...

6. Are you enjoying the remodeling process? How much work are you doing yourself and how much are you getting subbed out?
The remodeling process to this point has been relatively painless, but at the moment it is a bit tiresome. I would say that (at least) 90% is being done by the contractor. We are attempting to do the stuff we can, which is not much.

7. Are you or Wifey more excited about a brand new kitchen?
Right now, Wifey is, but it changes by day.

8. Are you getting new “fancy” appliances? You know I love me some fancy appliances!
We got appropriate new appliances for a starter home. The fridge is not a Sub-Zero, the range is not a Viking, and the dishwasher is not a KitchenAid, but they are all new and all Energy-Star rated.

9. How’s Little Man handling all the extra dust, and the fact that you can’t find the microwave to make his “chickies”?
He has not been home during the really nasty dust laden processes, so far. So his asthma has not really flared up due to construction debris. Our contractor has been making a stalwart effort in trying to minimize dust as well. That has helped a ton. We made sure that the microwave is still easily located, so he is still chickiable whenever the need arises.

10. Have you felt the manliness intensified when holding a sawz-all? I don't know that anyone really needs one, but man do they feel manly.
If one’s job is not as a contractor, ownership of the sawz-all is really superfluous. Since I am not heavily associated with the demo portions of the job, I have not been privy to the use of the sawz-all this time around. I have wielded one before and I do believe it is heavily infused with testosterone.

11. How careful do you have to be when remodeling with regards to dust and such and Little Man’s allergies?
So far the work has been confined to an area that Little Man does not frequent, but as the processes become more invasive to the house, we are trying to minimize his exposure as much as possible.

12. What is the hit list of your future remodeling projects?
After this one, I think (other than cosmetic stuff that occasionally comes up) the upstairs bathroom is all that is left.

13. Has Wifey explained that when you finish the last room, that women actually think you’re supposed to start over? It's a never ending vicious circle I tell you!
I can only imagine that she will be longing for the upstairs bath to be fixed.

14. Wood?!? Feelings? Discuss amongst yourselves
I love it. We have hardwood floors throughout the house except for the flooring in the kitchen. We are going to have a butcher-block counter top for the new kitchen. Wood is good.

15. Do you ever take models of airplanes and stuff, then blow them up, and finally reassemble them thus “remodeling?”
I did the first two processes without the third being tacked on.

16. What kind of photo shoot do you prefer? Oh, wait my bad. I thought you wanted questions re: modeling.
A shoot without animals or children... and bikini clad models

17. Why are you remodeling your kitchen?
Well, it all boils down to two reasons really.
Reason 1 – add a bathroom to the downstairs
Reason 2 – make the office upstairs into a nursery
You see, we are pushing the kitchen into a mostly un-used sun-porch, and then turning the existing kitchen into an office with a bathroom so we can make the upstairs office into a nursery.

18. I forgot what 18 was?
Me too

19. So if Tyra Banks gives up this talk show host gig and gets back on the cat-walk, would she be, in effect, remodeling?
No, that would be un-retiring.

20. Let’s say that you are showing Little Man how to behave by acting in the way that you want him to act. He seems to catch on for a bit, but then regresses back to previous behavior. What is it called when you demonstrate through your actions how you want him to behave for a second or third time?
Remodeling… Uuugggghhhh, that was just painful.


To Recap:
Day two of the significant destruction
They are opening the pass-through from the existing kitchen to the new kitchen today
It will be nice
We will dine on left-overs that can be heated in the microwave
Meeting hell today
3+ hours in one meeting that went to nowheres
Fast-like

Appliances

All the components are in place. We have cabinetry (one needs to be replaced due to a break). We have countertops. We have appliances (one needs to be replaced since it was clearly dropped). The issue is that all of these constituent pieces are not assembled. Our dining room is a maze of cabinetry in boxes. Our existing kitchen is applianceless, and the new kitchen is not ready for prime time as of yet.

Supposedly the major wall demolition will be occurring tomorrow to remove the old exterior wall to create a 6 1/2 foot entry way from the old kitchen to the new. Associated with this demo, the electrical work is supposed to be finalized, the gas line is supposed to be switched and the plumbing should be finalized as well. Should should should. I have money on all those things not happening tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, I think our contractor will do everything in his power to make it happen tomorrow, but I just understand that there are just too many systems and processes that have to happen correctly for that to be realistic. Hopefully we will only be out of commission kitchen-wise for a mere week.

Therefore this week will be a week of restaurant frequenting. It takes having a workable kitchen arrangement to actually cook. Tonight? I have no idea what will be for dinner, but we aren’t cooking it. Tomorrow? The same.

So… here we are in the midst of the Kitchen re-model for reals.

To recap:
No stove and no dishwasher make SRH go crazy
By all means these are not the only conditions to do so
“Cleaning out” the old fridge and detaching the other appliances took a long time last night
And this morning
I define “cleaning out” to mean “removing food” and not the application of any specific cleanser in this instance
They delivered the new stuff at 8:15 this morning
I unhooked the dishwasher at 7 this morning
That involved many tools and much banging about in the kitchen and basement
I am exhausted
Little Man is a bit under the weather today
This “a bit under the weather” seems to be lingering for him
Wifey is having trouble maintaining her eat/not eat balance
She goes from fine to starving tiger in 2 seconds
Thanks pregnancy!

Digital Thursday

Digital Thursday, it is nice to see you again.

Today’s installment of Digital Thursday comes at you in 2 parts.

Part the first.
The cartoon “The Challenge of the Super Friends” and its subsequent versions was a staple of my childhood. Saturday morning just would not be the same without watching Superman, Batman, and Robin thwarting Lex Luthor and the Legion of Doom. It was one of the cartoons that got me interested in comic books and therefore into drawing. Thanks Super Friends! Bok! Bok! Anyway… there were all these DC marquee players on the show and then a cast of second and third tier schmoes. Sure the second raters sometimes had better powers than the primary cast, but that is beside the point (I’m looking at you cartoon version of Aquaman!).

Even as a kid some of what should have been the supporting cast got too much air time. The stupid bumbling kids in the first season, and the Wonder Twins in later seasons. How is it that Superman and Wonder Woman couldn’t defeat the Legion of Doom but 2 twelve year old kids with homemade costumes and a talking dog, or a bucket of water, a wooly mammoth, and a semi-understandable monkey could? I guess somethings are better left unknown.

Anyway… just above the kid centric main characters who were invented for the show were the second tier heroes of the Super Friends. These were characters created just for the cartoon to give the heroic cast more of a United Colors of Benetton feel. Hanna Barbera (The animation company) decided that there needed to be more color in the cast and added Apache Chief, Black Vulcan, El Dorado, and Samurai, because stereotypes are something to strive for. Anyway, between the jive and broken English, these heroes somehow assisted the heavy hitters in their quest to do good.

I have already shown you my version of Apache Chief, today I shall give you Black Vulcan!

Nice pants!

Part the Second:
B over at e-lah posted up this meme. Now, I typically don’t get all memelicious, but this one is kind of fun. So without further ado, the meme:

The Visionary Album Cover Meme

1. Go here, and take the title of the article that comes up as your band name.

2. Go here, and take the last four words of the last quotation as your album name. (Fell free to refresh the page a few times before you get four words that make sense. Others have fudged on the number four.)

3. Finally, go here to this randomized assortment of nifty photos, and take the upper-right-hand photo as your cover photo. Bonus points for squaring the image to make it look more albumish.

Here is mine.

I went with 5 words in the quote instead of 4 since it needed the first word to make a real phrase.

I look forward to seeing Dustin’s

To Recap:
Today is Wifey’s last day at work
Now I expect her to be barefoot and in the kitchen
The pregnant part is taken care of
We are having the delivery of the appliances postponed til Monday
The cabinetry gets here tomorrow
The countertops are already here
The kitchen is about to get much much cooler
I think my hands need moisturizer… but I am a guy
So that ain't happening
Hey, B: BEST MEME EVER!
El Dorado is the next up in my colllection of culturally innappropriate Super Friends
Have a great weekend everyone

Naming Conventions

The modern Yeti of the Himalayas is an elusive and hidden beast. The modern name “Yeti” is derived from one of the indigenous languages of the Nepalese area. It is a bastardized anglacanized version of the word “Yah-Teh." The word Yah-Teh directly translates to “That thing there.”

Yep, you read that correctly. Our modern title for a mysterious creature of the frozen roof of the world translates almost directly to “The whatchamacallit.” Here we are in our insulated western languages thinking that the word “Yeti” has some intrinsic value when it turns out that the word basically translates to refer to something to which someone is pointing.

AAAAAAACK!!!! That Thing There!

The salt shaker?

No! That Thing There!!!

The tree?

That Thing There!!!

The snow? What? What is it that you want me to look at? Can you be more descriptive? Oh, you mean the large furry biped who is trudging through the snow. Why didn’t you just say that?

Might I suggest calling it a furred demon, a wild man beast, the mountain spirit, the scary thing over there that shouldn’t be, or even Jimmy(or even better Jimmy, the scary thing over there that shouldn’t be). Call it something more descriptive than “That thing there.” Imagine if you wanted me to pass you a bowl and you said “Hey, can you hand me that thing there?”… to which I would scream and run away fearing that my life would be ended by a mythological primate with questionable intentions?

El Chupacabra = Goat Sucker.

Sasquatch = Wild man of the woods

Orang Pendek = Short person

Yeti = That thing over there

Which one of these three doesn’t belong?

Nice naming convention. How do you refer to bread? “Stuff for eating.”

To recap:
Digital Thursday is ready
I am pretty happy with how it turned out
I might take some time to splain it more
I have some environmental maps that need to be finished up
I am pretty close to having them done though
Lunch was wholly unsatisfying
I slept for crap last night
Wifey is ill today
Her last day of work is tomorrow
They are sending her off with a big hoot-nanny tomorrow afternoon
I here there will be refreshments
I am sadly not invited…

20 Questions Tuesday: 77 - Sweet Jeebus, It's a Grrl

The topic for today’s 20 Questions Tuesday will concern a little girl issuing forth from Wifey’s loins in June. We are daughtering up.

Thanks this week go to Karen, Lsig, Dustin, Belsum, Sparky (last known as Bomber), Dr B Dawg, Wifey, Allrileyedup, and JW. A bonus 5 questions - because I care!

On to the questions:

1. Have you decided on a name? If so, what is it? Can you please name your daughter “Voltrana: The Harbinger of -insert word of your choice here-”? Pretty please? What are the top 10 names so far? Will there be an internet vote for the final name?
Not yet. Nope. No, although the word on the street is that she should be named Voltron Stardust Tonidanza. We have some candidate names, but we are not really sharing. Feel free to pass along any suggestions, but there will not be an Internet vote for the name.

2. Do you have any idea just how much little girls talk? Are you prepared for that? Would you like to spend time with Greta to fully understand what a nonstop dialogue sounds like? How do you feel about high-pitched screaming? In times of happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, or for no darn reason at all. Seriously, this isn't taught, it's innate in little girls. They learn before age 2 that it gets a reaction...it's bizarre!
I am not sure one can truly prepare for the constant string of verbalization. I know I am not prepared. Once I went to one of the US Women’s Soccer games and a higher-pitched soundscape I have never experienced. I can only imagine that in a one-on-one environment. (and you know she’s totally going to play soccer, a’ight.)

3. Pink. How do you feel about it? You will be receiving a lot of pink clothing for this kid. Is it still customary to dress baby girls in pink or did that fade off in the 1960’s? Until they get old enough to express opinions on clothes, babies are basically subject to their parents' clothing whims. Do you expect to go princess-y or tomboy-ish with the little one's clothes (my personal baby girl style is probably best expressed as "wedding cake" considering all the lace, bows, and flowers currently in her closet)? Will Wifey embrace the dresses and pinkness of it all or say "no way, my daughter's not wearing pink!" How does Zany Mama feel about the color pink? Remind her of this answer once the new baby girl turns one.
I think we will do our best to stay away from lacey as much as possible. Lace is just so impractical. Pink? Well, we are not huge fans of the color. I think as long as the color is tempered by other colors it is not sooo bad. I hope we can get it to where pink is not the predominant color, but I understand that will take some doing.


Wifey’s major concern is the clothes of the tween years. If I have to hear, “My daughter will not wear a thong at age 9” one more time…

4. Do you own a shotgun? Do you think you will need one? Will you use a shotgun or machete to ward off boys with less than favorable intentions?
I do not have one yet. While I like the point and hope aiming stylings of a shotgun, I am much more of an aiming purest. If a firearm were to make it into the house, it would either be a rifle or a pistol. No, I do not think I will need it. My breath can be intimidating enough.

5. Were you surprised to find out that it's a girl, or did it confirm a deep suspicion?
A little of column A and a little of column B. Wifey was not at all surprised.

6. Do you feel any compulsion to go out and buy non-train toys? Perhaps dolls or ponies or something? Is train fascination genetic and if so, could you handle two train obsessed offspring? Will you try to prevent a train fetish in this one?
This little one will probably find her own niche of products to latch onto. I hope it is not the Care Bears, because that show hurts my soul.

On the other hand, a dual train fetish could save us some cold hard cash, so we may try to veer her toward the locomotive.

7. Have you broken the news to Little Man? Does he have any thoughts on his impending sister? Forgot to ask you this earlier - what does Little Man think of this news?
Little Man was surprised because he thought he was going to get a little brother. He is slowly integrating the idea of little sister. The initial conversation went something like this.

Me: Little Man, do you want to know if you’re having a brother or a sister?

LM: I’m having a brother.

Me: No, buddy. Actually, we found out today that the baby is a girl. You’re having a sister.

LM: **Blank look. Because , you know, I already told them what we were having.**

Me: It’s going to be a baby sister, LM. You’re going to be a big brother to a baby sister.

LM: **Shock is slowly getting replaced by confusion, I thought I told them it was to be a boy.**

Me: Buddy?

LM: Oh. **We’ll just see about that.**

8. What will you do if your impending daughter turns out to be a jock (actual real life fear for my own future children)?
Whatev? I am not sure of the intention of this question. If the little girl grows up to be insanely sporty… more power to her. If she is more bookish? Great! If however, she goes on to be a zoologist with a specialty in the water horse, we may have real issues.

9. Diaper service: overrated or underappreciated?
Underappreciated

10. Did you save boy clothes thinking that maybe someday you’d have another one? What are you going to do with them now?
I think many of the boys clothes will be donated to a local charity. We will scour the clothes for things that are special to us regarding Little Man and stuff that is more unisex.

11. Do you need a tie-breaker now that the sexes will be evened up in your house?
Hell no. Let’s be clear. It’s never really been “even” – we’d have to get a lot more penises in the house before Wifey’s rule was truly compromised.

12. Will the new baby girl give Little Man girl cooties?
Very likely.

13. How many people have declared that girls are easier (or harder) than boys to raise and just you wait?
I honestly have not heard that too much so far. I am sure it is around the corner.

14. Will this be the first granddaughter on either side?
Yes, it will. In fact according to my family it will be the first daughter born into the family since Eve.

15. Have you already gone shopping for girly stuff?
Nope.

16. What shall the blog nickname be for the new one? What are some of the candidates for the new little one's blog moniker?
Well, Little Woman sounds like a novel. Little Girl is too diminutive compared to Little Man. The Princess is too derogatory as is Chicky (plus that is what Little Man has for dinner). I want it to be regal without being overbearing, so the Empress doesn’t work. I think, after long deliberation (with Wifey) she will be referred to as The Duchess.

17. Do you prefer girl or grrl?
Grrl. Most definitely

18. What scares you the most about having a girl-child?
Having a girl-child

19. Did you ever want to be a girl? Because, you know, this is kind of your chance… living vicariously through your offspring.
I don’t think so. I will contemplate this more though.

20. "Don’t call me daughter. Not fit to. The picture kept will remind me." What do you think these lyrics mean? Okay, it's pretty clear Eddie is bemoaning incest again. Find a new take on the lyrics.
Ummm… Eddie has some issues. Definitely about the whole incest thing. I am not sure I can spin it other than have people think about it being sung by the Frankenstein monster. The only issue is the word “kept” should be changed to “keep.”

******Bonus Questions*****

21. Will Little Man and the Duchess have the same curfew when they're in high school?
At similar ages they will have similar curfews. They will have to be at home by 3 am or spend the night in the drunk tank.

22. Are you aware that your email message pulled up the following sponsored ads: "Girl Thongs" "Getting Your Girl Back?" and "Bling Flower Girl Shirts." Any thoughts?
This is surprising to say the least. Especially the ones that make such grammatical nonsense.

23. If little man wants to wear The Duchess’s princess dress up shoes (because inevitably, someone WILL buy them for her), are you going to let him?
If he wants to wear princess dress shoes, who am I to stand in the way?

24. Chris rock's advice to fathering a daughter is "keep 'em off the poles." Discuss.
Well, I tend to agree. If I can keep the Duchess from stripping (cause you know “The Duchess” would be her stripper name) then I have at least done something right.

25. What personality traits (if any) do you hope the new baby inherits from the two of you?
Whether I want it or not, she is going to be hard-headed. So I am going to embrace her sense of self and self determination, because it is better to swim with the water than upstream.


To recap:
Lots of questions about pink
And names
I have a headache
Not a headache brought about by dehydration though
For I am drinking a bunch of water
And have to pee mightily
Like a geyser
A mighty geyser

Folklore

There is some folklore in my family. Well, folklore seems to be a bit light. There is legend told in my family that there aren’t any women born into the family. They are all married into it. Or so the legend goes… Oh, the legend is taken as faith by many of the people in the family. Oddly enough the people who hold the tightest to this faith typically have married into the family.

On Friday of last week we found out that we will be having a stubborn little girl come June of this year. “Why stubborn?” you ask? Well, dear reader, it seems that this little one even with much ungentle coaxing never uncrossed her ankles nor straightened her legs. If it had not become a battle of wills between her and the Dr performing the ultrasound, we probably would not have found out the gender of the baby to be. Plus, I am stubborn and Wifey is stubborn. The chances that any child of ours not being stubborn are fairly high bordering on inevitable. Oh, for those of you who did not know, we are having a little girl. We found out on Friday.

Friday night we had the task of letting family know the joyous news. Wifey’s family was all “Oh, another one, big deal.” I kid, I kid, they were very excited. When telling my family the response was a bit different. I started off by just telling my dad because mom wasn’t home when I called.

Me: Well, we had our tour of the baby ultrasound today. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Umbilical chord where it is supposed to be with the correct number of arteries and veins. Internal organs are internal. Has a bladder. No discernable cleft palette. Stomach seems to be working. Oh, and you will be having a granddaughter.

My Dad: ** Stunned silence**

Me: Dad, we are having a little girl.

My Dad: ummm… a girl… **stunned**

Honestly I could not have stunned the man more if I had hit him in the head with a ball-peen hammer. It took him about 30 seconds to really recover, but then he was amazingly excited.

Me: Well, Mom, we are having a little girl.

My Mom: Well, if anyone was going to go against family tradition it would be you. There hasn’t been a girl born in forever.

Me: Mom, I don’t believe any of that hogwash, plus, Dad has a sister. Her name is Nancy. She is only one generation away from me, and she is in yours.

My Mom: She was the first daughter that the family has had since before William the Conqueror.

Me: I soooo don’t believe that. William the Conqueror had daughters, plus I doubt if we are directly related to him anyway.

My Mom: No, it’s true, I have the family tree. I will show you!

Me: Fine, bring it, I would love to see it.

So there it is, the legend of the Family: There has not been a daughter born to the family since before William the Conqueror. There are clearly holes in this fable. Firstly, I honestly doubt any direct lineage to Big Willy. If we were directly related to Willy Le Bâtard, and there were no daughters associated with that line, our last name would not be Hart, it would be Angevin or some such surname legacy of nobility/royalty surname.

Secondly, MY DAD HAS A FREAKIN SISTER! No to mention historically speaking (relatively recent historical sense surely) the family hasn’t generated very many kids. My brother has 2 kids. I will have 2 kids come June. My grandpa on my dad’s side only had one brother and each of them only had 2 kids. That is not exactly a gigantic statistical sample to pull from. In 12 kids there will only be 2 girls born in 4 generations. Sure one would expect more of a 5 to 7 or 6 to 6 instead of a 2 to 10, but with only 12 coin flips I have gotten more skewed results. Oh, and MY DAD HAS A FREAKING SISTER!

To recap:
MY DAD HAS A FREAKING SISTER!
Now comes the fight with my mom about equal treatment of all the grandkids
Other than my dad’s completely stunned reaction, he is overjoyed and ecstatic
Of my parents, I would not have picked him for the most appropriate response
Cabinets come on Friday
Appliances come on Friday
Countertop is ready for pickup
I guess our new kitchen will have to be the working kitchen come Saturday
20 questions tomorrow about having a daughter

Digital Thursday

So, Tuesday of last week, Little Man produces a dinosaur that he has put together whilst in preschool. It is made from 5 pieces of construction paper. The head and neck, body, tail, leg one, and leg two comprised this Jurassic marvel. The pieces were joined together with those brass paper hole filling bendy things…

Yeah, those things. Anyway, by using the “Brass Plated Fasteners” the dinosaur has some degrees of movement associated with it. Needless to say Little Man is rather proud of its existence. So Wifey and I asked him what kind of dinosaur it is. Without missing a beat, he told us it was a Stegosaurus Rex (ergo Wednesday’s post from last week).

Today’s digital Thursday is dedicated to the oft maligned and mostly unknown Late Jurassic dinosaur, the Stegosaurus Rex

Can you see why it is the king of the stegosaurs? I can.

This was built from 3 separate images found on the interwebs. It took about 20 minutes of time to do. I am happy with it all except for the low amounts of detail on its head.

I have to be honest with you reader folk, I am not sure I like Digital Thursday. I am the paragon of ambivalence when it comes to Digital Thursday. There are times that it is wonderful. Times that I am very proud of what I am posting. There are times when I feel like the work being presented is really my “A Game.” There are other times, however, when I feel like I have just slapped some pixels together and forced something upon you fine readers that you may not want. What I am getting at, is that I would like people, if they are willing, to weigh in on whether or not Digital Thursday is working for you, as a very very interested reader.

To recap:
Little Man is a bit under the weather today
He is just a little coughy
Not to be mistaken as a small coffee one might order at a restaurant
And definitely not a “Short Americano,” to use the lingo
Yet he is a short American
Skinny too
Yet he eats like we haven’t fed him in weeks
Yeti eats like a barbaric pig
WTF!?!!? Wifey just posted?
What's all THAT about?
Have a great weekend everyone

Brook of ideation

^^Not my work, but I found it funny^^

The funny thing about penguins is that they waddle. When they aren’t waddling they are either just standing or they are sliding on their bellies along the ice in the Antarctic regions. Who doesn’t want to just go all slip-n-slide on the way to work? That is of course they aren’t swimming.

I think going to the grocery store would be more interesting if we had to evade predators to get from the parking lot to the store’s door. People would be both politer and more mercenary in the parking lot at that point. Chatting each other up as the got into groups to make a break for the door, but willing to shove the person next to them into the waiting maw of the parking lot lion hunting us down. DAMN YOU PARKING LOT LIONS!

I can’t decide if parking lot predators would cause us to go for small light trips to the market or big honking trips where you get a month’s worth of groceries. The small trips would allow for greater maneuverability, but larger loads would lessen exposure time. Maybe I am over analyzing, or maybe I would not be that good of a survivor.

My survivability would be in direct opposition to the survivability of whoever was standing near me that I didn’t know. Really, it would be an inverse relationship. Basically, what I am saying is that I would be more than willing to trip someone to ensure the safety and survival of me and mine. I would do the same for a zombie attack as well… especially if the person next to me was a prick. Eat the prick’s brain you mindless undead horde!

What I don’t get about zombies is how they function. They are dead, right? Yet they want to eat the living. What is up with that? Physiologically, what the heck are the undead innards going to do with they “meal” they just ate? Come on people, where is the realism? An undead horde of zombies would not be chasing people to eat them and especially just eat their brains. The unlife would merely be trying to kill people in order to accrete them onto their growing mass. That is the only ecologically sensible reason for the existence of an undead horde, and really, when dealing with the undead one must keep the ecology in mind.

To recap:
I have to pick up some firewood from the grocery store tonight
I just re-read the sentence, and while it is correct, it is odd to say the least
If there were parking lot lions I would not be doing that
That would be a silly reason to go
Especially when there are woods behind the house
So are you a fast zombie or slow zombie person?
Personally, I like the suspense of the slow ones
They seem more ominous and foreboding
The movies with the fast zombies tend to focus more on startle and gore than horror
Digital Thursday is tomorrow
Cheers

20 Questions Tuesday: 76 - Motivation 2

Tuesday’s seem to happen more and more often these days. It is like they sneak up on me when I am not paying attention because if I were paying attention they would be creeping up on me instead of sneaking because “to sneak” typically denotes that they are undetected, while “to creep” seems to indicate just plain weird behavior.

Anyway… I have 3 tasks at work that I am currently neglecting because I am un-motivated, which leads in nicely to today’s 20 Questions Tuesday theme: Motivation. Yes, the very same topic from last week. The difference is that this week the questions come from Peefer, Sassyfrass (Nadolny), and Wifey.

On to the questions:

1. If YOU don't have motivation and I don't have motivation, WTF is going on? Is it the drinking water? I would love to be able to blame the drinking water, but no matter what level of potability water has, I am not sure it would be a motivating factor for anything more than peeing… well pooping if it is not very potable.

2. When did you peak?
I would say at 29. Hey, Little Man was born when I was 29… you don’t think… nah

3. What, of the following two, drives you more: fear or greed?
Fear. No wait, Greed. No Fear. Greed. Ack! I don’t know!

4. Ever been spanked?
Ummm.. What does this have to do with motivation? As a kid spanking had not been vilified as much as it is now. My dad did spank me once of twice, but it was wholly ineffective.

5. "I am the ovation in motivation." How come the preceding phrase never caught on?
Do I really need to go into details?

6. Opinion of the motivation posters. Are people really that stupid that they can be motivated by a snappy line and a pretty picture?
I believe this sums up my feelings rather nicely.

7. Anti-motivation posters. Hilarious or truly anti-motivational?
I am going to go with hilarious.

8. Prozac or whiskey?
Yes, that sounds delightful

9. Second child incoming. Motivation to exercise more?
It should be, but many things should motivate me to exercise more. Wheezing on the stairs, sleep issues, and aches and pains should all motivate me more.

10. Which is the more powerful motivator - positive reinforcement or avoidance of negative consequences? Please answer for small children, pack animals, and errant clients.
Small Children: avoidance of negative consequences. Small children are not really all that capable of understanding delayed gratification, so positive reinforcement is not a good trick to work on.
Pack animals: depends on the situation. It really is a carrot or stick depending on the situation. That is for the alpha to decide, and I am not the alpha.
Errant clients: Positive reinforcements… especially if you want to keep them as a client.

11. What motivates our child? (I'm truly curious here. He's way more like you, so I figured you'd know.)
Trains and root beer. That is about as good as I can give. He and I get into battles of wills very quickly, so I probably am not the best to ask.

12. Thoughts on "motivational speakers"? Have you seen one? Did it work for you? What disastrous life pattern were you trying to change?
I think that it is nice to hear others stories of success grasped from the gaping maw of failure, but I haven’t really found them very motivational. I have only seen one whilst in high school. I left that assembly thinking, “That’s nice for him.”

13. What motivates current mullet-wearers?
Cyclical fashion trends. One day they will be avant garde again. Probably not until the collective unconscious forgets how stupid people look with mullets, but one day!

14. What would a super hero with supernatural levels of motivation - this being their only super power - do?
My bet it would be to get the under achieving super heroes to live up to their potential. That would be pretty cool really. So many super-heroes out there don’t really realize the true extent of their abilities. I guess The Motivator could also get the thugs, henchmen, and underlings of the bad guys realize that they could strive for more if they were more law abiding and entrepreneurial. I think that would be the extent of the motivational powers.

15. Is your lack of motivation short-term or is it deeper than that?
Ummm… that is awfully personal, but I would have to go with short-term but deeper than that.

16. “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human spirit on fire.” --Ferdinand Foch. Your thoughts?
I believe the most powerful weapon on earth is the one that actually sets human spirits on fire. To conflagrate the insubstantial immortal essence of a person is quite powerful indeed, especially if that conflagration only consumes the ethereal spirit in its cleansing fire to leave a shell of a malleable corporeal husk to do its master’s bidding. That, my fine readers, is a powerful weapon.

17. Do you have self-sabotaging beliefs?
If by self sabotaging you mean “cutting my own brake lines to ensure my car will careen off a cliff leading me to a fiery explosion of my own unmaking,” then, “No.”

18. What really motivates you?
Why do you ask? What is the reasoning for asking the question? What is YOUR motivation?

19. Are you clear about your goals?
Crystal: aim low and be surprised if you get more.

20. What motivates you?
Right now? Not much.


To recap
Little Man is starting to get a little sick
We are hoping that “a little sick” does not become “a big sick”
Still on the quest for countertops
One would think that butcher block counter tops would be easier to come by
One would be incorrect
I am sooo flipping tired
Coworkers are tired of watching the yawns
Remember when everyone wanted to go to Recess so they could enjoy some recession?

MLK Day FTW

As the white father of a biracial kid, MLK Day has entirely more meaning for me now than it did before. I want my boy to be able to grow up with the only barriers presented to him being those barriers Wifey and I gave him or he created on his own. I don’t want cultural and societal barriers to give him a ceiling that cannot rise beyond. I do not want him to doubt his abilities because there is an inherent cultural bias against the genealogical make-up of the blood in his veins. I want him to doubt in his abilities because I never let him win a game of skill until he is 17. I have fervent hopes that he be disregarded for an opportunity because of his inordinate fear of spiders and not the color of his skin. When he crashes out of law school, I don’t want it to be because of racist professors who see him as “less than.” He should crash out because of his over developed startle reflex. Basically, I want his own sense of crippling self doubt to be his downfall, not the inferiority imposed upon him by bigots. As a father or a biracial child, is that so much to ask?

Luckily there is a bit of a turn in societal issues and cultural morays such that economic status now holds significant weight in the amount of ridicule and antagonism heaped upon children. I can’t say that it trumps race as an “ism,” but classism is definitely on the rise in the US. Sure this helps my little bi-racial middle class boy out, but it really fucks the poor black kids. I am sure they are poor and black for a reason though, so I guess all is how it should be. I have the self satisfaction of being able to look down on the mewling poor thinking (sometimes to myself, sometimes not) “At least Little Man isn’t one of those poor bastards.” Can you believe that I think that without even knowing the marital status of those kids’ parents? It really is a big assumption on my part, but I go with it, because that is the kind of guy that I am.

Anyway… the US Government has not recognized a martyr for the rights of the poor yet (but I do believe they have some targets, ummm… targeted {get it? “Martyrs?” “Targets?” I am incredibly punny), so I am going to refocus this post back to the issue at hand: How the southern states could only pass this day as a holiday by including Robert E Lee into the day’s celebrations. Yep, Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississsisisiisisisisiisiisppii, could only pass the legislation to make today a holiday by having the Civil War Confederate general as a reason to celebrate. So in The South, this is an ambivalent holiday at best. While they celebrate fighting the established racist laws and society they also celebrate the fight against the tyranny of the federal stance on human ownership. The irony is kind of deliciously ironic in a moronic sort of way. One would think that the bigot legislatures could have just Jim Crowed up some lazy stereotypes and made it into a satirical holiday celebrating how the brown man needs extra time off whilst Whitey doesn’t. Something so nuanced as social satire is typically lost on bigots though. Unbridled irrational hate tends to blur the lines of sarcasm, and really that is where the sadness truly lies.

To recap:
Painted the new addition this weekend
Cabinets are being delivered this week
Appliances the following week
Now all we need is countertops
20 Questions Tuesday is tomorrow
More motivational topics
Too much sarcasm and satire?
Just enough?
Not enough?
Let me know

Digital Thursday

This week's installment of Digital Thursday is an illustration I did for the Fellowship of the White Star role-playing game. It is of a Thunderbird and some guy who doesn't know there is a 30 foot bird flying above him.


Oooooh dramatic angle. I should have separated the bird's head from the guy's head to get rid of that trap in the lower right corner. Other than the trap, I am really happy about how this one turned out. This one is about 4 or 5 layers and was done completely in black and white.

To recap:
So I was insanely busy today
I have no idea why
I need to find a snack for the evening
I want something sweet
Goodness it's late
The recaps have sucked this week
Have a great weekend everyone

Title-less or Un-Titlable

Stegosaurus Rex

To recap:
You heard me right

20 Questions Tuesday: 75 - Motivation

Yesterday I was highly unmotivated, so I thought a brilliant idea for a topic would be motivation. I was right. I have 2 weeks worth of questions and ½ a weeks worth of energy.

Thanks this week go to Lord Pithy, Dustin, Bomber, Belsum, and Dr B Dawg.

Onto the Questions:

1. "Meh" or "Feh"?
Definitely “Meh.”

2. Better excuse to not do something: "I can't my leg is on fire"; or "I'd love to want to be able to help, but I don't."
The first is an excuse and the second statement is just stating is the truth.

3. Carrot or stick? Better motivation - punishment or reward? (for you, as an adult.)
I am much more inclined to do something for the carrot, but only if the carrot is something that I really want (as in not a carrot), otherwise I sadly need the stick to prod me along.

4. Uncle Owen's first pick had a bad motivator and it blew up. Why can't we do that?
Blow up our “bad motivators?” That would be great; in fact that idea kicks much ass.

5. Why am I not motivated to register to vote?
I would have to say it is because your state’s primary is too late in the season and inconsequential.... just like your vote.

6. How much motivation can one piece of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake get?
I have tried many times to motivate Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes, but those bastards are the laziest desserts out there. So in answer you can motivate a slice of cheesecake all you want, but it will do absolutely nothing.

7. What is your favorite De-motivational poster?
This one, but there are so many good ones.

8. Is your dearth of motivation linked to your digestion cycle like mine (post lunch = sleepy time)?
Some of my dearth of motivation can be traced back to alimentary canal processes, but most I think more can be credited to my general state of malaise.

9. If you could distill motivation into pill form and sell it, what would you call it and how much would it be?
Ummm… they already sell caffeine in pill form, it goes by many names: Vivarin, NoDoz, and a boatload of generic names.

10. Does fear motivate you?
To run in the opposite direction of what is afearing me, yes. To accomplish things? Not so much

11. What was your motivation to propose to Wifey?
Umm… I wanted to doom her to a dismal and emotionally unavailable marriage like my parents did to each other.

12. I'm feeling motivated today. What's the best way to squelch that?
Might I suggest contemplating your role in the cogs of the universe? I mean, really, on a universal scale, you are pretty insignificant… just like the rest of us.

13. Just how addictive is the Motivator maker?
I have not perused it too much, but I could see where it could be addictive.

14. How many consecutive set-backs in a project does it take you to loose all motivation? Does this differ at home and at work?
Work: 0
Home: prolly 4 or more

15. Do you find procrastination to be a motivational tool?
Umm… I think procrastination is a side effect of motivation (or lack there of) and not a reason for or against motivation.

16. Would a speaker (some retired basketball guy or some CEO who has made a mind boggling amount of money) ever motivate you?
Nope, not in the slightest.

17. Is your current motivation suffering from a lack of self-motivation or job-suck-the-life-out-of-you-osity?
I believe I would side with the latter instead of the former.

18. Would a rally monkey help your motivational woes?
Yes, I am sure of it.

19. Has your company ever had motivational or team building exercises?
Ummm… no, bec***this paragraph has been removed by the editors to insure SRH’s continued employment*** you know?

20. Have you thought that maybe you were just over-motivated and now you're merely motivated and so it feels like you're under-motivated?
Finally, someone knows what I am talking about. When you grow up as a go getter all the time, when you dial that back, it feels like you are just sitting on your laurels when you are really just going with the flow… God, I can’t even read that without giggling much less type it or say it out loud. If it took no effort I could be the poster child for lack of motivation.


To recap:
Wifey is starting to get ill
And I don’t mean in the Beastie Boys way either
She has always been Illin’ yo!
But now she is ailing
Well, I have work that I am ignoring
Cheers

Not Pauly Shore, either

Wifey’s boss had some kind of Wii hootnanny on Sunday. There was some food and about 12 people there to play with the Wii. Of the 12 people, 4 were below the age of 8. The Wii is a fun console with lots of insane potential as evidenced by this guy.

Anyway… Wifey and I have been talking up the “Wii Party” for the past few days because we think that if we can get Little Man interested in playing the Wii, we could use the games to help some of his Occupational Therapy stuff. The hand eye coordination would go up and hopefully his body positional awareness. I know these concepts have technical names, but I forget what they are at the moment, so I won’t use them. Anyway, Wifey and I have been chatting up the Wii party for Little Man for about 4 or 5 days.

He is genuinely interested in going to the party. We think that he is going to really dig the party and he might actually try playing the games. Come Sunday morning he wakes up and immediately asks about the party and demands that we all get moving so that we don’t miss the party. He blathers on about something that Wifey and I do not understand due to our advanced state of grogginess.

We reassure him that the Wii party is not until that afternoon, and that no amount of parental lollygagging in the morning will jeopardize his ability to go to the party. Thus covered, Wifey and I continued our morning lollygagging in our foggy haze of grogginess. Again the little one is gibbering and prattling on about some such nonsense. Party this…. Party that… blah blah blah. My head is hurting and I am not quite conscious enough to attend to Little Man’s incessant mouthing. Besides as far as we could tell, he was not asking questions. He was talking about how excited he was about the party.

Wait a second, was that an extra syllable appended to “Wii?”

“When are we going to the Weasel Party?”

Oh, I think I understand why he is so excited. I also think I understand that he will be summarily disappointed with the abject lack of weasels.

To recap:
Nary a weasel in sight at the party
Little Man seems to like chicken sandwiches
Who would have thought?
Tomorrow’s 20 questions shall be about motivation
If I feel up to it
It is snowing a little bit today
Big pretty flakes
Not much else to say
I hope it is something good for dinner tonight

Digital Thursday is upon us yet again. I have a smattering of things for everyone to look at today. By “smattering” I mean two.

Thing the first: A while back I showed you the beginnings of a new Godzilla post. Well, here is the finished product. I have titled it “I Come from the Water.” Initially I was going to have the big guy going through a Tokyo streetscape, but then I realized I don’t have the talent to pull that off.

The final file ended up being 12 layers and rather beefy in file-size. I took longer to do since I re-organized it in the middle of working on it. That is why digital is a much better media for me than others.

Thing the second: This is a quick digital sketch I did of Ewan MacGregor. The final version is what you see here. I didn’t layer this one at all. Just raw digital painting on a black background. I think I spent around 30 minutes on it while waiting for a 2 x10 foot (61 x 304 cm) plot to finish printing.

I used this photo as reference.

I think the image has taken on a more Liev Schreiber vibe than an Ewan vibe

If I could find a picture of Liev Schreiber wearing that suit and standing in that position. I would be spot on.


To recap:
Not sure what is for dinner tonight
It might be leftovers
I am still rather tired
Penguins are funny because they waddle
We are buying a skylight tomorrow
Weeeeeeeee... Skylight
The counters for the kitchen should be here the last week of January
New appliances are being delivered February 1
We still need to get countertops
This kitchen is going to kick so much ass
It should because it is a kick in the wallet
It also means that I need to paint
Soon
Very soon even
No, sooner than that
Picture, if you will, slate gray cabinetry with lime green walls and a stainless steel counter top

That is nothing like what our kitchen will look like
Factoid: Liev Screiber narrates the PBS show Secrets of the Dead
Have a great weekend everyone.

Size depends on perspective

Last night Little Man wanted to have a stuffed animal to snuggle with as he fell asleep. No big deal, we are happy when his requests are that simple. The stuffed animal he chose was a Toys R Us Geoffrey the Giraffe stuffed animal that he has had since he was born. He probably has not played with this particular stuffed animal in over a year.

He grabbed the giraffe and hugged it fiercely as we got back to the bed for the rest of the evening ritual. A few minutes later he asked me, “Why is the giraffe smaller?”

“The giraffe is smaller?”

“Yeah, it used to be much bigger. Why did it shrink?”

“Oh, Punkin Pie, the giraffe didn’t get smaller. You just got much bigger. Stuffed animal giraffes don’t grow, but little boys do.”

“But, it used to be bigger.”

“Nope, you used to be much smaller.”

“Oh.”

To recap:
Same thing happened to me when I went to my previously cavernous grade school cafeteria as an adult
That room was much smaller for adults
Digital Thursday tomorrow shall be huge
Well, maybe not huge
Kinda big-ish?
I was up entirely too long last night
But I got to sleep in this morning
That was heavenly
I think it is supped to be hamburgers for dinner tonight
Little Man will not be pleased
I think he wants pizza
Who will win?
Any takers?

20 Questions Tuesday: 74 - Holiday Season Part 2

Here it is the long awaited return of the Holiday season 20 Questions Tuesday. Sure the season is mostly over, but that doesn’t mean I can’t answer questions about it.

Thanks this week go to Sassyfrass, jw, and Peefer. I came up with some questions of my own to fill out the 20.

Here we go:
1. Does the big guy give most of the gifts, or do you make it look like the parental duo ponied up for the cool gifts?
It goes about half and half for us. While we want the boy to be happy with what Santa brought him, we also want to be in his good graces presents wise.

2. Long or short needled trees?
Short and fake. Real trees are a bitch to clean up, and I have enough trouble keeping up with the typical mess of the house without adding pine needles to the mixture.

3. White or multicolored lights?
I like blue or green lights, but Wifey is all about the white lights. I think the multicolored are nice, but I just like single color strands better.

4. Which do you prefer, pine trees or palm trees?
Pine, I am not much of a beach person. I am not fond of sand getting everywhere.

5. How long do you plan to keep the Santa secret?
Until he smurfs it out. There is no reason to set a time-table for that one. Don’t get me wrong, I think he will know waaay before he lets us know that he knows. So in a way I will know that he knows before he knows that I know that he knows.

6. Egg nog with or without rum?
I like Barber’s Egg Nog without anything extra in it. That is one of the few things that I miss about Alabama.

7. Wear red and green during the season more than usual (underwear doesn't count, although socks each get a half point).
No more than usual, but green and red are kind of staples for my limited wardrobe, so that is unsurprising.

8. Battle Royale. Death match between Rudolph and Frosty. Who will win?
Rudolph. Dude the reindeer can fly and has a powered nose. Frosty is a mildly MRDD snowman reliant on a magic hat to get him to that low level of functioning. You do the math.

9. Why did everything go wrong for Clark Griswold on the days before Christmas?
He is a hopeless optimist who is oblivious to the world around him. He is a classic spend before earning American. The fact that this caught up to him just before Christmas is merely fodder for a comedic movie. What we don’t see right now is the movie “National Lampoon’s: Clark Griswald Gambling Addiction Intervention” wherein a destitute Griswald family confronts a boozing Clark about wasting the family’s finances on liquor, blackjack, and land speculation. Laugh that one up movie-goer. Clark is what you made him you fickle bastards! You laugh when the monkey dances and then walk away when things start to get real…. Ummm… I meant to type that he was a victim of bad timing.

10. How many times in succession have you watched Ralphie risk getting his eye shot out during the annual marathon run of "A Christmas Story"?
I think I have had it on in the background before for 3 straight runs, but I cannot say that I have ever watched it back to back to back.

11. What do you notice that changes in folks good and bad during the holiday season?
People are more willing to give greetings to a stranger as they go about there day. Many people are just, in general, more polite during their routines. These same people can become raving lunatics whilst shopping. Much more angst in the retail space (especially in the parking lots).

12. Do you know anyone that celebrates or has celebrated Kwanzaa besides me? (It's really a pretty neat holiday)
Sadly, you are the only person I know of who Kwaanzaa-ed it up this past year. I think people think that it is a festival holiday that has been manufactured from nothing but a disenfranchised group feeling left out in the cold. In many ways they are right, but the underlying message of Kwaanzaa is really nice. Who doesn’t want to celebrate unity, self-determination, responsibility, cooperation, purpose, creativity, and faith?

13. What the biggest difference between the holiday season and hunting season?Holiday season = red and green
Hunting season = fluorescent orange

14. I knew a girl named Noel. This is a statement, not a question. Sorry. Feel free to discuss.
That’s funny, I know a woman named Noel, I bet they aren’t the same person.

15. Why is there a tree in my house? A tree! In my house! Really, now.
Well, I assume the tree got cold and decided it was warmer inside next to the roaring fire. Sure a tree warming itself next to the fire is tantamount to a cow eating a burger, but that is also why that particular tree came in from the cold. The other trees didn’t like it due to the tree’s lack of scruples.

16. When did you stop believing in ... you know ... the image of an all-powerful bearded male God?
Really, is the holiday season the time to get all religious? There is no call for asking religiousitous questions during the holidays. Just celebrate how the Baby Jesus helped Santa find Rudolph so he could deliver toys from Wal-Mart to all the good boys and girls (the bad boys and girls get gifts from crappy old “brick and mortar” retailers… poor suckers) during the winter solstice like the rest of us by buying your way to happiness. Sheesh, you religionauts make me tired.

17. Why are there no holidays until Easter?
Ummm… President’s Day dumbass. The day we celebrate George Washington cutting down a tree to make paper on which Abe Lincoln could write the Emancipation Proclamation, thereby allowing Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and T Roosevelt to join together and become Super Mecha-President Prime. … ah, wait, you don’t have that day up there, do you?

18. Best gift you got this year?
The gift of motivation. It was time and I needed that swift kick in the pants.

19. Have you ever had a White Christmas?
If you mean, have I ever had a purely Caucasian Christmas, then yes. I have had many of those, but I have to question why that is important, you racist bastard. If you are alluding to a Christmas where there is a nice blanket of snow covering the ground making the holiday picturesque, then no.

20. Is there anything that did not happen during the holiday season that you wished had happened?
Wow, that’s deep. Ummm… I think I would have loved a Frank Capra moment where Capt. McArmypants knocked on the door for Christmas Dinner (and not like Jacob Marly dropped by Scrooge on Christmas Eve). That would have, of course, meant that we would not have had left over prime rib though. So maybe it is good that didn’t happen.


To Recap:
Whew! Glad that one is over
It was a loose end that was just nagging at me
I am tired
I was up late last night
I am up late most nights
I consider it training for when the new baby comes around
There are a shit ton of the “I” statements in today’s recap
Five in a row, for those of you still reading
Hmmm I hear that 10,000 B.C. is about Egyptians enslaving cavemen to lead teams of mammoths in building the pyramids
How can that NOT be a mega-super-block-buster?
It has saber tooth tigers, Egyptians, mammoths, pyramids, cavemen, and big predatory land birds
A + B + C + D + E + F = CINEMATIC GENIUS
Oddly enough, without the big predatory land birds, the story was just “meh”